


Perdition

by pastmydancingdays



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-27
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2017-12-09 17:55:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 72,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/776319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastmydancingdays/pseuds/pastmydancingdays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a time after the Avengers had saved the day, Loki is locked away from the world in an Asgardian dungeon. Lonely and mad, damaged and hateful, he waits for freedom. But it doesn't come in a way he intended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like my first Loki piece!
> 
> Tumblr: http://www.pastmydancingdays.tumblr.com  
> Deviantart: http://www.missarpeggio.deviantart.com

_All his life, he’d been the underdog. A thinker amongst warriors, a trickster in a world of those who hated tricks. And prince though he may have been by title, it was evident to all that he was not well loved. Not by his so-called parents, not by Thor. Not by anybody. And for so very long, he had wondered – why was it that he was different? Why was Thor worth so much more than he?_

_The answer only revealed itself many years later, and by then, of course, he could no longer be saved._

**********************

The cell in which he lay was decidedly claustrophobic, all unforgiving stone and fathomless darkness. Loki stared into the abyss, feeling as if the walls were pressing in on him. Part of him wished they truly would, and end his misery. He remained motionless on the frigid ground as footsteps approached his cage, holding his breath and listening to heeled boots tap out a staccato rhythm, echoing through lonely corridors like bell tolls in a clock tower. His fingers spasmed unwillingly as the footsteps neared the door, a wild hope blooming in him; he didn’t care if it was Thor, or Odin, or Thanos himself, as long as it was _someone._ But, as always, the person passed, along with Loki’s hope. He let out a quiet sob of loneliness. Was this to be his eternity? Trapped forever in total isolation, with no magic, nor company, nor sunlight, because he had been so weak as to bend to the will of the Chitauri? Perhaps it was for the best.

Loki rolled on to his back lethargically, clawing at the stone beneath his hands with splintered fingernails. In here, there was no escape from those black thoughts that plagued him in silent moments. He had long since slept by candlelight, and Thor had laughed, but Loki hadn’t cared, because only reflections on his sins waited for him in the dark. In the night, his children, dead and alive, bound and banished, called to him with thin, wailing voices, begging for the comfort of his arms that he could not give them.

Sleipnir, his firstborn, forced to bear the burden of the All-father.

Fenrir, kept in chains and gagged with a sword. 

Jörmungandr, cast into the oceans of Midgard. 

Hela, thrown into Nifilheim to watch over the dead. 

And his youngest, his twins. Loki’s throat closed up at the memory of Vali, transformed by cruel sorcery into the form of a wolf, ripping Narfi apart. He had screamed himself raw at the sight of it, while the Æsir watched impassively, tying him down roughly with the still-warm entrails of his dead son.

Loki clapped his hands over his ears roughly as their pleading cries echoed in his head - pushing so hard that they throbbed - but it didn’t drown them out. They appeared before him in wraith-like form, and he wept piteously, reaching out to them with trembling hands.

‘Oh, my loves,’ he crooned, ‘I have wanted nothing more in my life than you to be by my side again. Come to me!’

But the flickering figures only stared stonily at him.

‘You failed us, Trickster,’ Hela spat angrily, ‘Parent you have not been to us, and parent you shall not be named.’

‘But, I-’

‘You did not protect us,’ Narfi cried, ‘You were the cause of my death, and Vali’s grief.’

‘I-I never-’

‘Loath am I to call you mother,’ Sleipnir hissed, dark and thin in human form, ‘for you are only a pitiless monster.’

Loki could find little to say. He stared at each of his children in turn, tears trickling down his face.

‘I-I am so sorry that I was not good enough,’ he choked hoarsely, ‘I love you all beyond anything and anyone that has ever existed.’

The ghosts of his children merely stared at him in abject loathing, and one by one, began to disappear.

‘N-no!’ Loki screamed, ‘I love you! Don’t leave- please, _please_ – don’t leave me!’

The children however, continued to disappear one by one, leaving behind the echoes of cold, cruel eyes, until only Jormungandr remained. In human form, red eyed and pallid-skinned, he knelt on one knee in front of Loki.

‘Oh, my Jör, I love you so much,’ Loki whispered, nervously twitching his fingers towards his face.

Jörmungandr smiled almost kindly, tilting his head to one side.

‘But what is love worth…’ he trilled sweetly, ‘… when it comes from a monster?’

He disappeared immediately, and Loki’s face crumpled as he scrabbled at thin air.

‘No! _No!_ Don’t leave me! My children! _My children!’_ he screamed brokenly, sobbing so hard that breath eluded him.

Behind the door, a guard watched nervously as his prisoner wailed and whimpered at thin air, rocking himself like a tiny child.

Perhaps something needed to be done.


	2. Castigation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken so long, but I've been so busy! Anyway, here's Chapter 2 with a furious Odin, thoughtful Thor and a twist. Enjoy!

_‘Hey, Loki!’_

_Loki flinched as his name was called roughly, and marked his page with a finger. The Warriors Three did not care for such pastimes, and therefore, neither did Thor. He had heard, and ignored, the clack of wooden swords for hours now - he did not want to engage in their brutish roughhousing._

_‘Come and battle with us!’ Fandral all but roared, smacking him hard over the head with his faux-weapon, ‘Or are you just a cowardly Jotun runt?’_

_At this, Loki’s blood boiled, and he stood in a rage, while Thor and the others sniggered. He stomped over to them, and a sword was shoved in his hand unceremoniously, before he was pushed forward to face Fandral. He did not know how to fight, and they all knew it. Nevertheless, the spar began, and Loki was soon merely attempting to shield himself from bruising blows._

_‘I knew it!’ Fandral shrieked triumphantly, ‘One with such meagre sparring skills must surely be a Frost-monster!’_

_Still, the battering continued, and beneath the anger and the panic, something began to grow. Loki’s fingertips tingled, and a heat rose in his chest, until all at once, energy burst out from inside him, sending Fandral flying across the courtyard._

_Silence._

_Awful, terrible silence, as the others hurried to Fandral’s groaning form, and Loki attempted to right himself. A feeling of dread rose rapidly in him as he heard thundering footsteps approach, before a bellow sounded from the corridor._

_‘LOKI!’_

_Odin appeared in all his terrifying glory, crimson-cheeked and heaving for breath. His remaining eye swept the courtyard, and he rounded on his cowering youngest._

_‘Have I not warned you that magic does not befit a prince? How many times must you be punished before you obey me? You dishonour me, and you bring shame on this house! Begone from my sight, afore you truly incur my wrath!’_

_Loki wilted beneath the furious gaze of the All-Father, and gathered his belongings haphazardly, scurrying off to his room. As he passed under the arches that led him inside, he heard Odin address his brother._

_‘Ah, Thor, sparring again? You are a true warrior, my son!’_

_Though Loki did not feel it yet, the seed of resentment had already been sown._

**********************

Heavy oak doors swung slowly open to admit him, and though nerves were making his stomach roll, the guard suppressed the feeling, striding purposefully towards the resplendent figure seated on the throne. Reaching speaking distance, he knelt swiftly and bowed his head, pressing a hand to his heart.

‘My king.’

‘Sölvi. You have requested an audience with me,’ Odin proclaimed curiously, ‘and I would have you speak. Stand.’

Sölvi stood awkwardly, eyes switching between Odin and Thor, who was leant casually against a pillar at the edge of the room. Watching his gaze, Odin raised a hand to dismiss Thor, but Sölvi interjected-

‘No! Forgive me, sire, but I would have you both hear this. I… I am no skilled speaker, my lords, as I am rather more suited to physical duties, but I would ask that you take that into account and be patient with me. I would not have come to you, busy as you are, if I did not think this an issue.’

Thor looked up interestedly from Mjölnir in hearing this, and Odin nodded, frowning in concentration. Sölvi swallowed thickly, aware that the wrong words could result in both nothing for Loki, but also trouble for him. Nevertheless, he would not back down now.

‘Sire, I am the chief guard of Prince Loki. You know this, as you appointed me to the position, but the time I spend in observation of him has allowed me to come to some… disturbing conclusions. I am aware, as all of Asgard is, of the heinous crimes of Loki Silvertongue. But, I cannot, in good conscience, remain silent of his condition any longer. This isolation, I fear, has broken his mind entirely. For you see, sire, in the beginning, he was as defiant and deceitful as expected, attempting to manipulate my guards and I into conversing with him, into responding to his words, to letting him out, even! Now, however, the situation has changed. He no longer recognises the existence of any of us, even when he is addressed for practical purposes. He has terrible nightmares, and screams like a tortured animal in the night, scratching and snarling and raging in the dark. He has visions of… his children that obviously are not there, and he addresses them plainly – sire, I cannot be silent of this suffering any longer. Nowhere in this broken child do I see a trickster any longer.’

Sölvi ended lamely, taking in a shuddering breath. The room was silent for a moment, as Thor stared in horror, and Odin sighed. Sölvi twisted his hands nervously behind his back as he waited for their judgement.

‘Sölvi,’ Odin began gruffly, ‘I thought that you would have the strength to not let your emotions get in the way of your job.’

Sölvi’s stomach dropped sickeningly as he struggled for words, seeing Thor’s eyes widen almost comically.

‘Sire, I-I-’

‘It is not your place,’ Odin continued loudly, ‘to question my decisions, nor to make judgements on what is right and what is wrong. Loki has committed many foul crimes throughout the Nine Realms, and despite your opinions, I will see him punished for it!’

‘Father!’ Thor interjected, ‘Perhaps Sölvi is right – Loki-’ 

‘Enough!’ Odin roared, ‘Do not question my authority, child, or there will be serious consequences! Sölvi, I am disappointed. You will return to your post immediately, and do what I appointed you, as Chief Guard, to do!’

With a dry mouth and trembling hands, Sölvi bowed low, and turned to leave, catching a glimpse of Thor’s turbulent gaze as he did so. He returned to the dungeons quickly, feeling regretful. Could different words have resulted in a better outcome? But, he had little time to think, as turning the corner, he fell back in shock. The bodies of his guards littered the floor, bloodied and broken and twisted unnaturally. 

The door to Loki’s cell was wide open.


	3. Infandous

_Breathing harshly, Loki limped up to the palace door, holding a newborn foal. **His** newborn foal. Though Sleipnir’s weight was almost too much for him to bear in his weakened condition, Loki persisted, frightened that he wouldn’t be able to walk on his eight shaky legs. The guards opened the doors immediately, staring curiously at the disfigured baby and Loki’s tattered clothing. He paid them no mind. Upon entering, Loki turned wearily at a ragged shout of his name, and was nearly bowled over by an exuberant Thor, who flew at him from the staircase. Sleipnir nickered in distress._

_‘Brother!’ Thor boomed, ‘Where have you been all these months? I have missed your trickery. And for what reason are you carrying such a foal? Father has ordered that all disabled animals should be killed for their own good.’_

_Loki hissed threateningly, hitching Sleipnir up in his trembling arms._

_‘He is mine!’_

_Thor stared nonplussed at his brother._

_‘Brother, why are you so attached to that… animal?’_

_‘Because he is mine! Did Father not force me to distract Svaðilfari? Sleipnir is the product of that distraction. He’s just a baby, Thor. My baby.’_

_Thor gasped sharply – even he couldn’t mistake what Loki was telling him._

_‘You mean that you birthed that thing? Loki… why didn’t you leave it out in the wilds to die?’_

_Loki trembled with fury, eyes narrowing and teeth baring as he drew himself up to his full height._

_‘HE IS MY CHILD! MY SON, THOR!’ he roared, the remnants of his magic rattling the windows._

_‘Loki?’_

_He turned with ire back to his brother, but it wasn’t he who had spoken. Approaching them was Odin, fixed with the usual expression of disapproval that he always met Loki with. Loki trembled beneath his gaze; exhausted and fearful, his knees went weak, and he would have fallen were it not for Thor’s discreet, supporting hand._

_‘Father,’ Loki choked, ‘I-I have completed the task with which you entrusted me.’_

_Odin gave him a once-over, lip curling as his eyes caught on Sleipnir._

_‘I asked you to distract Svaðilfari, not become his whore!’_

_Loki flinched violently, unwillingly, arms tightening around his foal until he awoke with a discontented whinny. He waited for a half-second, for a parry from Thor that he knew wouldn’t come. Then, his weakened arms hitched Sleipnir up once more, and he narrowed his eyes at Odin._

_‘I had no choice. I was vulnerable in the form I was instructed to be in, and he-’ a tender hand swiped over a soft nose, ‘-he is the outcome of that vulnerability. Father… I would request that Sleipnir stay with me within the palace until he is grown enough to be without his mother. Either that, or I could leave for the stables with him in my mare form.’_

_But Odin’s face darkened, and he grabbed the newborn, eliciting a pained squeal._

_‘Request denied.’ he snapped, ‘I will not have my son wean an abomination! He shall be exterminated like the rest.’_

_‘No!’ Loki flew forward, but was restrained by a grim-faced Thor. ‘All-Father, please! - Get off me, Thor! – Please reconsider! I will do anything, I swear!’_

_Odin stopped in his tracks, holding Sleipnir still roughly. He turned, considering Loki’s desperate expression._

_‘It could be… my private steed,’ he replied thoughtfully._

_Loki blanched in the realisation that his child would be lost to him, but at least still alive._

_‘And you,’ Odin continued, ‘will pay for your weakness. And you will learn, boy, to honour and respect me like a true prince. You will learn.’_

_And with that, he left the room, clutching a squalling Sleipnir. The silence thereafter was deafening, as Loki stared dejectedly at the space where he once had been._

_‘M-my son. I have lost my son.’_

_Thor said nothing._

***********************

Odin’s anger was something to behold that day. When he saw the bodies of the guards and the open cell door, his expression was darker than Thor had ever seen it. Sölvi stood nervously in the corner, staring firstly horrified at the bodies of his men, then at the furious face of his king.

‘In my house,’ growled Odin, incandescent with rage, ‘he would murder in my house! This will not stand! We will find Laufeyson, and we will execute him!’

Neither Thor nor Sölvi had the courage to interject, though both disagreed. Odin swept from the room in ire, and Sölvi turned to his prince.

‘My Lord,’ he began stiltedly, ‘I cannot believe that in Loki’s state, he could have managed this. I am aware that he was known somewhat as a trickster in his youth, but this… he was broken, my prince.’

Thor nodded grimly.

‘I am not sure that Loki would have killed his own in such a manner. This-’ he gestured broadly around him, ‘-is not his… style.’

‘Should we not make our concerns known?’ Sölvi asked tentatively.

‘No. Not yet. The All-Father would likely order our own executions,’ Thor replied with a humourless smile, ‘I think now is the time to observe rather than act.’

***********************

The ground Loki woke upon was freezing and uncomfortable. So far, so familiar. But a tentative move of his hand brought with it the unfamiliar clink of chains, and when he looked down, Loki found his wrists encased in dirty, metal shackles. He began to panic. Disorientated and amnesiac, he wondered what he had done to be bound in such a way. He pulled roughly yet fruitlessly at the chains, feeling claustrophobic like never before. He cleared his throat as a shadow passed the doorway, fully intending to cry out to the figure and demand an explanation for his condition. However, as his eyes adjusted to the light, he was struck dumb by a horror the like of which he had not felt since before the attack on Midgard. Before him, massive and muscular, eyes gleaming in an almost reptilian fashion, stood his worst nightmare.

‘Thanos,’ Loki whispered hoarsely.


	4. Ephemeral

_Loki almost felt secure. Nothing and no one would ever replace his firstborn, his Sleipnir, but Fenrir, Jörmungandr and Hela were slowly healing the hole in his chest. What did it matter that Fenrir preferred the form of a wolf, or that Jör liked being a snake, or that naturally, Hela was half alive and half dead? What did it matter, for they were his children, and he loved them more than anything else? He had hidden them well, he thought, on Jötunheim itself, where even the Aesir loathed to go. In their frozen home his children were happy and free, which was more than could be said for his eldest. From where Loki stood, life was tolerable._

**Footsteps.**

_Loki froze where he was stood. That sounded like more than a few people. Hoping it was mere paranoia, he gathered his confused children quickly and changed their appearances to those of normal children, and his own to a female. Just in time, it seemed, as the door crashed down beneath the boots of Asgardian warriors, and Loki’s brother approached._

_The disguises are futile,’ Thor stated in a monotone, ‘I know it is you, Loki. And the true appearance of your offspring is known to us also.’_

_Trying and failing to put on a brave face, Loki dropped his glamours and he approached Thor cautiously._

_Thor, please,’ he begged, ‘Sleipnir is already his. Do not take my other children away from me.’_

_There was a momentary flash of regret in Thor’s eyes, but he drew himself up to his full height, staring at them in pity._

_My orders from the Allfather are to be followed swiftly and without deviation,’ Thor insisted, expression twisted into something unfathomable. ‘You are to return to the palace with us immediately.’_

_'No, Thor, please! You know- you know what he will do!’ Loki pleaded weakly, backing away with his children behind him._

_He quickly considered his options as Thor shook his head sadly, knowing he had very few. His magic was weakened, reduced to mere parlour tricks, and inadequate for fighting off Asgard’s finest. Still, as the guards advanced, he fought tooth and nail with the little ability he had, protecting his children with the finesse of a wild animal._

_'Thor!’ he screamed, as Fenrir and Jörmungandr were wrenched from his arms, ‘How could you betray me like this?’_

_The guards pinned him down as he bit and scratched and kicked and struggled, pulling little Hela away._

_'What kind of brother are you?’ he sobbed in agony._

_The last things he saw were Thor’s tormented eyes, before a fist connected with his face, and he screamed no more._

***********************

The whole of Asgard was in a panic; after all, if the Trickster could kill dozens of the palace guards inside the safest place in the realm, then how would the common folk be protected in their homes? Thor felt as if the kingdom itself was balancing on a knife edge, as the next few weeks were spent entirely on restoring order and attempting to find who leaked the information about the murders and the ‘perpetrator’. Nevertheless, he gained a strange sense of satisfaction as Odin’s advisors dithered fruitlessly, not knowing where to begin to look for Loki. He and Sölvi managed to snatch time for short conversations once a day or so, discussing how was best to try and diffuse the situation – but they yielded little. The hysteria of the masses was cumulative, spiralling out of control like a ball down a hill, demanding, and impossible to ignore. Odin made a show of sending patrols round the streets at night, giving speeches to crowds of the frightened, and yet the moral panic was ever increasing. Though he had seen his mother, Thor hadn’t spoken with Odin since they had found the guards dead, and it was only when the situation was reaching crisis point that he was sought out.

‘Thor.’

He looked up from his cup of mead to see his father looming over him.

‘Come. I wish to speak with you.’

Thor nodded and stood swiftly, following him into an antechamber and exchanging a significant look with Sölvi on the way. He had wanted to confront Odin since the incident to make him see sense, and yet when that one piercing eye fixed on him unflinchingly, he found that the words wouldn’t come. Funny, he’d never taken himself for a coward.

‘After much thought, I have decided that Loki must have fled to Midgard once more. He is unwelcome on Jötunheim, has not entered Niflheim, and does not have the means to make his way in any of the other realms. On Midgard, he is likely to be able to reside relatively unnoticed, and hide amongst large populations. Thor, you will go to Midgard, find him, and bring him back here for execution.’

Thor stopped breathing.

‘Excuse me, father, but I thought you just said ‘execution’.’

‘You are correct.’

He stared open-mouthed at the unmoved expression before him, feeling somewhere between outraged and horrified.

‘You would have your own son put to death?’

Odin growled.

‘That murderous swine is not my son! I should have left him to rot on Jötunheim! Never again will I show compassion unneeded.’

‘Father, no! I-’

‘I will not tolerate insubordination, Thor, do you hear me? Asgard is in peril, and I will do whatever I must to right the situation. Think not of the Jötunn as your brother, for he has shown the savagery of his true people. You will leave immediately. Go to Heimdall and follow my orders, or you will face the consequences.’

Odin left the antechamber with a billow of his cloak, leaving a hollow Thor to stand alone. With a heavy heart, he left the palace and went to Heimdall who stared at him impassively.

‘My father has ordered me to leave for Midgard,’ he whispered darkly.

‘I know.’ Heimdall replied monotonously, ‘But know this, Odinson. You alone can choose your path. There are secrets yet to be revealed.’

He turned to open the Bifrost.

‘Now go, Thor. Have faith in yourself as I have faith in you.’

Thor nodded briefly, too upset to take in Heimdall’s words, and was duly pulled down to Earth.

***********************

Screams rent the air outside the palace, and Sölvi ran to the doors, wondering how this week could possibly get any worse. The sky was darkened despite the hour, as large, black ships blocked out the light. Sölvi gaped up at the sight, his stomach dropping in dread as he finally recognised what he was looking at.

***********************


	5. Eviscerate

_He should have been more careful. He should have…_

_Though he loved his twins unconditionally, Loki could not help but feel terrible guilt for bringing them into this world; a cruel world that hated them because of their lineage, because of him. True, their conception had been an accident, but they were beyond precious nonetheless, and Loki prayed that they would not befall the fate of their siblings. He had not seen Fenrir, Jör or Hela since their forced return to Asgard, though their locations were widely known throughout the realm. Odin, in an ugly show of self-righteousness, had made sure of that. And yet, here he was again. Two more children to be ripped from his arms, Asgardian of appearance though they were. Loki watched them play with a fond smile. He had concealed them thus far – perhaps this time they would be spared._

_A flash of red and gold caught Loki’s eye, and he twisted round sharply, hackles immediately raised._

_‘Thor?’ he barked, teeth baring in some primal imitation of a feral animal. He shuddered in dread as he took in the piteous expression and dishevelled appearance of his brother by name._

_‘Did-did you really think you could hide from Father and Heimdall?’ Thor questioned quietly, tired eyes closing briefly._

_Knowing already that the game was up, Loki fell to his knees in front of him._

_‘Thor, I beg you,’ he implored, lowly and rapidly, ‘you have seen what has happened to my other little ones. I will do anything, anything at all, if you help me prevent that from happening again.’_

_Hands raised beseechingly, a god in imitation of worship to another, Loki held his breath as he waited for the verdict. Behind him, the boys clutched one another in fear. They had been warned about the Golden Ones._

_‘I…’ Thor closed his eyes wearily, pushing Loki’s hands down gently. ‘Neither of us have any choice in this, Loki. You have ‘til the sunset. Good luck.’_

_Then, he turned and left, hands balled into fists at his side. Loki rose from his knees shakily. A warning. One that meant little, of course. They were still in Asgard, though an isolated part._

_‘Boys,’ he snapped, ‘we must leave now. Get your cloaks.’_

_The twins obeyed immediately, having been told before about the fate of their siblings, and the silent tyranny of their king. Meanwhile, Loki scrambled to collect food and irreplaceable trinkets, cursing Odin to the high heavens. A quick glance outside revealed the sun low in the sky, and Loki cursed Thor harder – why give them hope when there was none to be had? Vali and Narfi emerged dressed for travel, and Loki beckoned for them to follow without a word, making for the hills with a long, determined stride. The sun was creeping below the horizon, and that stride morphed into a jog, dragging the boys behind him like marionettes on trailing strings._

_‘You see those caves there?’ he asked breathlessly._

_‘Yes, Father,’ Vali replied._

_‘We can hide there for the night and move on in the morning,’ Loki explained, stomach already dropping._

_Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. How familiar._

_Still, they reached the caves as the sky began to darken, and Loki concealed the twins within carefully, trying not to convey to them his utter lack of confidence._

_‘Quiet as a mouse,’ he whispered gently, kissing them each on the forehead in turn._

_Then, he rose and stood just inside the entrance, long knife pulled from his boot and clutched with one white-knuckled hand. Soon enough, the loutish sounds of a guard troop approaching echoed through the cave, and Loki closed his eyes as they passed the mouth of the cave. And perhaps they would have got away with it for another day or two, if Narfi had at that moment not let out a loud sneeze. Loki’s heart leapt to his throat as the heavy, thumping footsteps stopped, and turned towards the cave instead._

_‘In there, sir,’ one cracking voice confirmed, and as the first man entered the dark cavern, Loki did not hesitate to slit his throat from ear to ear._

_A shout of surprise, then an angry clamour met his ears, and guard after guard streamed into the black, some carrying torches, some stumbling and feeling their way in. Loki’s well-adjusted eyes gave him a momentary advantage as he leapt from his hiding place, stabbing and slashing wildly at anyone who was near enough. Before long, though, he was restrained, and he screamed as his children were dragged out, sobbing. The head guard, a thick-set, brutish man with the nose of a street-fighter, bent to where he’d been forced to kneel._

_‘Let me tell you something, filth!’ the guard spat, spittle making Loki flinch as it hit his skin. ‘You caused the deal between the Dark Elves and Asgard to fall through. You are the reason they stormed our village, and you are the reason my wife and children are now dead!’_

_Loki shook his head frantically, mouth and eyes wide open in horror. The rumour mill had once again implicated him in a crime he hadn’t committed._

_‘Not me! I swe-’_

_He broke off as a meaty fist connected with his nose, and blood gushed down his face._

_‘A life for a life, don’t you think?’ the guard grinned, signalling those holding him to drag him backwards. ‘Luckily enough, the king gifted me with temporary use of magic.’_

_A guardsman behind him shifted._

_‘Sir? His Majesty instructed us to use the magic to bring them to the palace, not-’_

_‘Shut up, Dagr! I am your superior, and you will do well to remember that!’_

_The Brute fumbled with a heavy book he had pulled from his pack, flipping through the pages._

_‘Ah. This one seems interesting,’ he smirked sadistically, turning to Vali and stumbling over ancient spell words._

_Loki did his best to interrupt, but they dragged him back further, till his back was against a series of rocks, and four guardsmen restrained him. There was an agonised shriek, and Vali began to shake wildly, bones stretching and snapping, down beginning to cover his limbs, teeth lengthening and eyes yellowing, until there was no longer a boy. Loki stared at the snarling form of a large, black wolf that stood in place of his once-child. But that could be reversed – there was still hope. Yet he saw too late his whimpering second son being shoved unceremoniously into the centre of the cave, and the blazing torches chasing wolf-Vali towards him. Loki let out a strangled scream that echoed his boy’s, before the poor mite had no throat left to scream with, and a gargled cry became the last thing he ever heard Narfi express. He wailed in mourning until his jailers began to wince, and a few covered their ears in pain, but that didn’t dissuade the wolf, who continued to gorge on the tiny body, until he was knocked away with fire, and a few muttered words from the Brute turned him back into a child. Little Vali stared in confused horror at the ravaged body of his twin, until he licked at his lip absently, and the unmistakeable iron of blood visibly made him reel, and he turned to vomit, before screaming as loud as his father had. The Brute thumped him on the head with his torch and his eyes rolled back in his head as he crumpled unconsciously to the floor._

_‘Bind him!’ he demanded, nodding to Loki, who now stared blankly at the broken corpse on the floor._

_‘But we have no rope,’ Dagr squeaked, pale as chalk._

_‘Use the guts then,’ the Brute snarled, pointing at the body, and pushing Dagr towards it._

_He visibly gagged as he pulled the entrails away with shaking hands, the slick squelch making more than one guard wince. Loki stood pliant as they wound the intestines round his shoulders, then his hips, then his legs, head buzzing with white noise. He barely heard the bellow of outrage and outpour of expletives as Thor arrived, Mjölnir killing the brute and a number of the nearest guards instantly._

_‘WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?’ Thor roared, swinging the hammer round wildly. ‘THEY WERE TO BE BROUGHT TO LIVE IN THE PALACE, NOT TORTURED OR MURDERED!’_

_Loki heard scattered screams and yells of rage, before his bonds were broken, and gentle hands turned his face, watery blue eyes staring into his own._

_‘My dear brother, I am so sorry,’ he whispered, stroking sweat-saturated hair from his face. ‘They have committed acts of grave insubordination, and will be dealt with. Please believe me when I say that they were never meant to be harmed.’_

_Loki stared at him with unfocused eyes._

_‘Say this is a dream,’ he muttered stiltedly, monotonously, ‘Say it.’_

_Kind eyes watched him with pity, before Thor leant over and left a soft kiss on his cheek, then moved his lips to his ear._

_‘I am sorry, Loki, my love. I cannot.’_

_And then Loki was empty, empty, empty, apart from the vestiges of a burning hatred, flaring up from the depths from where they had been buried._

_You gave me hope. Then you took it away._

***********************

The cell was silent. Loki would no longer scream, could no longer scream, after a particularly sadistic Chitauri torturer had rendered him mute by tearing his vocal cords from his throat. All he could do as needles punctured his skin was thrash in silent torment, salty tears dripping down his cheeks and leaving an uncomfortable moistness beneath his jaw. He had no idea how long he had been here – days, weeks, months? Time was meaningless in Thanos’ domain. His putrid, wretched tormentor slid one filthy hand up Loki’s thigh, and Loki stiffened, closing his eyes.

_Please, no. No more._

But before the creature could continue, the door slammed open to reveal a bigger, uglier version of his torturer. Guttural sounds spilled from his mouth as he communicated with the other, and his rancid mouth formed a smirk. His tormentor got up to leave (not without leaving Loki with a broken cheekbone), but turned at the door.

‘Message from Thanos,’ it grunted happily, ‘we are at war with Asgard. You will see your family before long, monster, though they might not be intact.’

And with that, it left, and Loki wept for a realm that loathed him.

***********************


	6. L'appel du Vide

_Thor’s Coronation._

_Loki had tried to be happy for him – truly! He had! – but all too easily, that familiar bitterness that had filled him in his younger years had risen to the surface. Though most of his hatred was targeted at Odin who had caused him so much grief, Loki could not deny that which he felt in Thor’s presence. The Golden One, the shining beacon of Asgard, most beloved, most treasured, most worthy son, had stood back and watched his torment and his pain. And Loki could neither forget, nor forgive. Did they not think him capable of ruling? True, his magic had been derided as a sly and dishonourable way of winning battles, but nobody had complained when it had saved the kingdom. Loki felt like grabbing his father and shaking him, asking him why he loved Thor so much and he so little. All he wanted was to be Thor’s equal in his eyes, and in the kingdom’s eyes. He knew he wasn’t the rightful heir. But still, it stung to see how much he had been forced into the role of black sheep. Thor had become the light, and he the dark._

_So, Loki thought, he might as well fulfil the prophecy. Whatever the Aesir thought of his motives, all he had wanted when he let the Frost Giants in, was to prove himself as capable._

_And he couldn’t even do that right._

***********************

Thor had barely reached Earth before he was forced straight back again. He landed heavily in front of Heimdall, sprawled awkwardly on the ground. Disorientated and annoyed, he staggered to his feet and glared.

‘Heimdall, what is the meaning of this?’

Heimdall, impassive as ever, delivered the news monotonously.

‘The Chitauri have invaded Asgard. They outnumber our own forces, but Odin believes that our superior combat skills will negate that factor. He requested that I return you so that you can fight.’

Thor was at first taken aback, but then he pulled himself up to his full height, gripping Mjolnir with a white-knuckled fist.

‘I will return to the palace immediately.’

As he ran from Heimdall’s presence, the clash of metal and cries of pain that had gone previously unnoticed grew ever louder, and by the time the palace was in shouting distance, he was sprinting.

‘Open the doors!’ he roared to the guards in front of the servants’ entrance.

They complied quickly after exchanging a look, and Thor went full pelt through the corridors, before reaching the throne room, and bending over, panting.

‘Father,’ he gasped to the figure facing away from him, ‘I have returned.’

Odin turned and regarded him grimly.

‘Thor, I need you, Sif and the Warriors Three to lead us into battle. I am no longer young and able to lead an army as I once did. Though their numbers may be greater, our men possess the technique to be victorious.’

Thor nodded stiffly, only now noticing his friends within the room, dressed in their armour. As soon as he stepped back from Odin, servants came forth carrying his own, and he allowed them to dress him in it solemnly.

‘Each off you will head a battalion,’ Odin continued, ‘and once the palace grounds are secure, you will move out and push the filth from our realm. I wish their leaders to be brought here, however. Thanos is not present in Asgard, and I wish for some information from his subordinates. I do not believe that this will be the only assault.’

Thor nodded once more, silent in the face of this new information. He wished to know why his father thought there would be another attack, but he didn’t ask. 

‘I will not let you down, father,’ Thor promised, voice strong.

And with that, he turned and approached the main palace doors, hearing his friends fall into step beside him. With the sounds of war echoing around him, he briefed his soldiers  
and sent them into formation, taking his place on the front line, facing the approaching Chitauri.

‘On my word!’ he called, waiting for a beat, until the distance between the two armies was crossable.

He watched in disgust as the leader’s skeletal mouth cracked into a grin, his blood boiling.

‘Charge!’ he cried, fingers curling tighter around Mjölnir.

Then, with his nerves steeled and his mind focused, he leapt into the fray.

***********************

Loki was both terrified and desperate – rarely a good combination, and certainly not when chained in some damned brig on a ship full of his worst nightmares. He had hoped, perhaps, that he would have been left alone as Thanos’ attention was turned to Asgard, but his tormentors had returned again and again, using him and beating him and breaking him. He shook as the cell door clanked open once more, revealing his usual jailer smiling lustily, twisting a worn whip around his hand.

‘Do not worry, little monster,’ it sneered, tongue flicking out of its mouth in an almost reptilian fashion, ‘you have a little respite yet. I just wanted to tell you of our happy news. Asgard is overrun by our warriors, and we will have victory soon; will it not please you to see your family burn?’

One grimy, yellowed fingernail scraped roughly down his cheek, and Loki shuddered.

‘They have done you such wrong, have they not, little monster? Worry not, it will all be over soon.’

Loki felt faint with relief as it retreated towards the door, until the whip cracked out and ripped into his lip. He could make no sound but a rough, gurgling gasp as blood bubbled up and spilled down his chin. His tormentor grinned.

‘I will return later with a few friends. You can spread your legs for a few more, can’t you slut?’

Loki choked in horror, taking in a breath to speak before he realised he couldn’t. His silver tongue couldn’t save him now. By the time he had gathered himself, the door had swung shut, which sent him into a whole new realm of dread. His breath caught as he realised what the rest of his existence would be – a fuck-toy and punching bag for any Chituari soldier that wanted him. The panic rose in him as a tidal wave after an earthquake, and he pulled desperately at the chains that bound him. The hateful words of others rang deafeningly in his ears as the last vestiges of his magic surfaced in tendrils that looped round and down his arms to his bindings, and with a desperate cry Loki blasted the groaning metal apart, so that only the ragged cuffs remained. He heard a shout of alarm as he wrenched the cell door off its hinges, and without a thought, launched himself at the glass between him and the abyss. It shattered beneath his weight, and then he was falling, falling again into the endless black, a blissful smile creeping on to his face.

_Oh, Hela, my Hela, I will see you soon._

***********************


	7. Solivagant

_There were not words to describe what he had felt when the icy fingers of the nameless Jötun had touched his skin and left it sickly, damning blue. In a second, the endless taunts of childhood aggressors, Odin’s tough-without-the-love parenting style, and his own crushing feelings of difference, finally made hideous, sickening sense. Numb, he had kicked the equally-thrown Frost Giant away from him and fought on, desperate and biting, in the air that suddenly didn’t feel as cold. Oh, he had continued to play his part, of course, as Thor had been cast down to Midgard (not unlike his own precious Jör, but nobody else had mourned his loss, had they?), as Sif and the Warriors Three had nursed their suspicions, yet inside, he was in turmoil._

‘The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jötunheim that day, was it?’

_He had torn the truth from Odin, at war with himself. What once was, was no longer, and the old and the new struggled for dominance. Odin had played the wounded fool, pained by Loki’s accusations, but Loki knew that he was wiser than that._

**‘TELL ME!’**

_The words had ripped themselves from his throat with a painful wrench, as he stared beseechingly at his not-Father like a child, wanting him to make things right again. But he wasn’t a child, and Odin mumbled platitudes that meant little, serving only to frustrate him. If Odin had always known, why hadn’t he told Loki? Why hadn’t he cultivated a better image of the Jötunns on Asgard? Why had he let the kingdom despise him?_

_‘Did you ever love me?’ he wanted to ask, but the words caught – he was sure of the answer already. Instead, his hidden suspicions poured from him like bile, and no longer was it about his race, but his feelings of worthlessness, his inferiority, his pain. Thor had always been of more value, and always would be; it was obvious now. He felt like ignited dynamite, and turned to leave, lest he do something he would regret, but Odin’s collapse forced him back. He cried out for the guards in fear, and they rushed to their king, carrying him away to a healer. Loki remained standing and staring at the place he had vacated, swallowing back traitorous tears._

_Was he still so desperate for Odin’s affections?_

***********************

Tony was _bored._ So bored, in fact, that he had agreed to go on a walk with Steve. Why walk, Tony thought, when you could drive or fly or sail or… you get the picture? But one pleading look from those baby blues had stopped his protests right in their tracks. Lord help him, he was in love.

‘It’ll do you some good, Tony,’ Steve had said, ‘get you out in the fresh air for once. Take in the city.’

The only thing Tony was taking in right now was asthma-inducing exhaust fumes, angry horn-beeping, and ranting phone calls from every side. Agitated beyond belief, he was ready to call Happy to take them right back to where they started, but Steve’s fingers curling hesitantly around his was enough to change his mind.

‘Alright, alright, just let’s get out of this mêlée. I feel like a sardine.’

Steve nodded and pulled him down a quiet alley, licking his lips before leaning in to Tony’s ear.

‘I’ll make it up to you tonight,’ he whispered awkwardly, blushing tomato-red as he leant back.

That brought Tony to a stand-still.

‘You sure, baby?’ he asked softly, kicking himself for even questioning Steve’s willingness to have hot sex with him. ‘I know you haven’t-’

‘I’m ready,’ Steve interrupted breathily, squeezing Tony’s hand, ‘I’m ready.’

Tony looked at him for a long while, before stealing a deep kiss, tongue swiping roughly over Steve’s lower lip.

‘Alrighty then. Just let’s get out of this alley now, or the paps’ll think we’re boning here.’

He pulled Steve out by his hand with a wicked grin, ignoring the fact that he looked like a stop light.

‘Shall we go down to the River? Hopefully get some quiet there.’

Eventually, they reached the docks, and Tony thanked whatever deity had prevented any snot-nosed journalists from snapping him and Steve together.

‘See,’ Steve smiled, ‘isn’t it lovely to get out of the workshop for a bit?’

Tony raised his eyebrow incredulously, before his expression softened at Steve’s hopeful gaze.

‘Yeah, sure,’ he groused, ‘lovely to spend some time with you, anyway.’

At this, Steve coloured again, dipping his head. Jesus, he was going out with a strawberry.

‘Babe, you’re the colour of my mom’s lipstick. Calm down already.’

Steve gave him a shy smile, before freezing as he looked up.

‘Is-is that who I think it is?’

‘… shit.’

***********************

Loki fell fast and long into the endless black, deliriously frightened, the calm of expecting death having escaped him long ago.

_Hela, will you not come for me, child? Liberate your father from this shadowed, hateful existence?_

As he fell, he closed his eyes and let visions overtake him. Sometimes he found his children in the dark, sometimes he lost them again. Sometimes he was welcomed back by Thor and Odin with open arms, sometimes they tortured him just as mercilessly as the Chitauri had. What he had thought would be eternity, however, ended rather quicker than expected. Suddenly, the darkness ended, and he was alight, burning through the atmosphere of what his dizzied brain suspected was Midgard, and it was confirmed as he found himself sailing towards a wall of blue. He panicked, breath hissing out between his teeth and arms flailing wildly, ragged cloak flying out behind him like a torn parachute. He tried to brace himself as he hit the surface, but the water cracked across his body harder than the whip had before it, as he was catapulted down into the depths. Loki wasn’t sure which way was up as he kicked violently, propelling himself in various directions, until he was grabbed and yanked towards the air by a grasping hand. He broke the surface with a splutter, and as the hand dragged him onto a vessel, he vomited over the edge.

‘Dude, don’t puke on my boat!’ a voice whined petulantly, and Loki turned blearily to see a young, blond man, rolled up sleeves soaked to the shoulder. ‘Are you okay, though? You look beaten to shit!’

Loki stared at him with streaming eyes, hoping to convey the utter idiocy of the question.

‘Okay, okay, so we need to get you back to shore,’ the young man acceded, turning the sailboat around with practised ease. ‘How the fuck did you manage to fall into the Hudson River though? I’ve never heard such an almighty splash in my life!’

Loki’s frustration returned with a vengeance as he tried to speak, and was met with only a wispy gasp. When the man turned to look at him in annoyance, he pointed at his throat, at which the blond stared, then flinched.

‘Shit, dude, that’s some pretty funky scarring. Did a dog rip out your throat or something? Also, what the hell is with those weird bracelet things?’

Loki glared, and the blond flushed scarlet, spinning briefly to make sure his bow dock and stern lines were secured.

‘Sorry man, that was rude. I’m Mark, by the way… and of course you can’t tell me your name, can you?’

Shivering violently as the past caught up with him, Loki curled in on himself as he vomited again on the deck, contractions forcing his entire body to buck.

‘Shit, shit, shit!’ Mark hissed, and Loki faintly noticed him jump ashore. He had pushed away the pain before in his panic, but now it returned agonisingly, and he struggled to stay awake. Trembling hands reached down to his roiling stomach, and came back bloody. Loki moaned with dread. He could feel himself slipping away – not to Death, no, that was too easy – but to somewhere dark, and in his last moments, he whimpered as his broken body was lifted from the deck.

‘We’ll take it from here, son,’ a kindly voice said faintly, and Loki knew no more.

***********************


	8. Shatter

_He had gone too far. He knew that now. These past few months, he had been driven solely by jealousy and bitterness, and like a child chasing a ball rolling down a hill, events had passed out of his control. At first, he had felt a wicked sort of satisfaction as Thor was berated and banished, a vicious pleasure that burnt him from the inside out, as he – Loki! – was the favourite for once. The joy in it was short-lived, however. For the first time in his life, he was uncertain. Though the royal sceptre felt good in his hand, he knew he was not the right person to wield it, for he was untrusted and untrusting, quick of wit, but not of forgiveness, crawling in the shadows cast by his charismatic, incandescent brother. He had caused them all such pain, in the vain hope that it would match that which he had felt, cast aside and deprived of his little ones. His plan, his hopeless, deceitful, delusional plan, that was formed to force them to care for him, had failed._

_And so here they were, the dark and the light, the beloved son and the betraying son, at each other’s throats. He lashed out at Thor wildly, trying desperately to provoke a reaction._

_Fight me, you fool. Fight me so I can feel the hatred you must have always had for me. Fight me for Father, for the Warriors Three, for Asgard itself. Your stinging blows will not harm me as **they** have harmed me; as **you** have harmed me in days of old._

_‘I never wanted the throne. I only wanted to be your equal!’_

_It was unlikely that Thor would believe him, what with the power play of the last few weeks. Nevertheless, it was true. What use had he for a kingdom? He just wanted to prove himself to them, to prove that he could be like Thor if he tried hard enough. These were the death throes of a man with nothing left to lose._

_Mocking Thor about the woman was the last straw – of course. And then they were grappling with one another, and for once, it seemed like Loki would win. He had centuries of pent-up rage to deal out with Gungnir, battling savagely as he had as a child. Thor was blasted away into the Bifrost, clinging to Asgard by his fingertips, while Loki stood victorious – or so he thought. Because, of course, Thor would not go down so quietly. He was yanked free by Mjölnir, and they were at arms again. And then, suddenly, Loki was pinned by the hammer, though he still had the upper hand._

(You can do nothing but watch them fall, as I watched my own fall into Father’s grasping hands.)

_A wave of brutal pleasure washed over him as he watched Thor panic, until Mjölnir was lifted from his chest, and – **NO!** – the Rainbow Bridge was destroyed, and they were both blasted into the air, clinging on to Gungnir, flying backwards into who knew what. The powerful jerk of Odin’s hand grabbing Thor’s foot nearly displaced Loki entirely, but he clung on, dread and terror and despair filling him. Odin’s expression was resolutely unforgiving, though Loki searched in vain for any sign of redemption._

_‘I could have done it, Father!’ he cried, ‘I could have done it! For you! For all of us!’_

_A stab in the dark, a cry for help._

(Please, father, forgive my sins, forgive my sins, as I have tried to forgive yours, **please,** I have nothing left.)

_‘No, Loki.’_

(Nothing and no one, he had nothing and no one left in this life. One last look that yields no change. Enough. Enough.)

_He doesn’t hear Thor’s protestation, nor his frantic cry as he falls. But he hears the silence of Odin, and sees the eternal countenance of disappointment as he lets go._

_So be it._

_When he falls, he is more at peace than he has ever been._

***********************

In the midst of the mud, the blood and the madness, Thor wielded Mjölnir with the skill of his forebears. Despite the difference in numbers, the two armies were almost evenly matched in terms of the body count, but the Asgardians were gaining more and more troops each day, which was skewing the balance in their favour. Thor had little time to consider this, however, as he concentrated solely on decimating the invading forces that threatened their kingdom.

‘My Prince!’

Thor turned mid-swing to see Sölvi, soaked and bloody, clutching sword in hand.

‘New arrivals from the east. I have brought them to relieve the front line, and that includes you, your Highness.’

Thor beat away a few more Chitauri, before protesting.

‘Sölvi, it is my responsibility as Prince to bring peace to this realm, and-’

‘And that will not happen if you drop from exhaustion,’ Sölvi dared to interject, ‘this battle will not last a day, my Prince.’

A younger, more arrogant Thor might have laughed and continued, but he was wiser now.

‘Alright, Sölvi, lead the way.’

He hoped tomorrow would be brighter.

***********************  
‘Reindeer Games looks like shit,’ Tony intoned lowly, after having called Happy urgently to pick them up.

Steve nodded, a pinched expression twisting his face as he stared down at the wounded trickster.

‘There’s a lot of blood, Tony. Can you call Bruce?’

Tony did so as the car rolled up next to them, and Steve got into the back with Loki, who gasped shallowly, still unconscious. Blood dripped sluggishly from the side of his mouth.

‘Look, Bruce, I can’t tell you until you get here, just trust me okay? Okay. Thanks. See you soon.’

Happy looked back once curiously, but he had seen a lot of strange things in the employ of Mr. Stark, so he didn’t ask.

‘Steve, what are we doing saving a homicidal maniac who tried to enslave our race?’ Tony asked quietly, turned awkwardly in his seat to watch the prone, broken figure.

Steve gave him a long and pensive look.

‘I know all too well what Loki has done, but I won’t just leave him to die,’ he answered softly, hand resting on top of the sodden, matted hair, ‘and he’s Thor’s brother.’

‘Yeah, Thor’s lying, violent and fucking psychotic brother who nearly destroyed New York!’

Steve nodded restlessly, watching Loki twitch and the blood ooze into the fabric of his battered clothing.

‘Okay then, third reason – we couldn’t exactly leave him there, could we? What if he woke up and wanted Round Two?’

‘Like that? Yeah, right.’

‘Well we know he has magic, so who knows. Can’t leave a Norse God unattended, Tony.’

Tony snorted.

‘Fury’s gonna go spare.’

‘Then don’t tell him yet,’ Steve suggested.

‘Do you want to be tasered?’ Tony asked incredulously.

‘Please, Anthony.’

Steve’s lips curved round the word in a way that made Tony shiver, and one look at his pleading eyes softened his defence.

‘Fine. Jeez, the things I do for you, babe.’

The car pulled up in front of the garage, and Tony waited until they entered and the car stopped, before throwing open the door and opening Steve’s. Steve smiled at him gratefully, and carefully carried Loki’s thin form out, following Tony to the elevator, and then to a clinical room filled with medical equipment. He lowered him on to a crisp, white bed, pulling the siderails up with a snap, then stood back, unsure of what else to do.

‘How long is Bruce going to be?’ he whispered, feeling a strange need to keep the room quiet.

Tony side-eyed him oddly, but made no remark.

‘Five minutes tops,’ he replied softly, humouring him, ‘luckily, he’s in Manhattan… Steve? This guy murdered hundreds of people, thousands indirectly. And we’re keeping him alive? Remind me why we’re doing that?’

‘I know he’s done terrible things, but Thor didn’t take him back for execution, Tony. That’s not what we stand for. And don’t you want to know why he’s been beaten six ways to Sunday? Look at him, I mean really, look.’

And Tony did.

From his choppy, saturated hair down to his mangled boots, Loki was a world away from the deranged psychopath he had encountered the year before. Tony tried to beat down the sympathy that welled in him, but he was mostly unsuccessful.

‘Fuck me, I’m a bleeding heart. Fine. Jesus.’

‘Sir, Dr. Banner has entered the building. I suggest that you relocate before you explain to him about your guest,’ JARVIS stated coolly.

‘Yeah, right, okay. Steve, one of us has to stay with Rock of Ages. Who’s it gonna be?’

‘Maybe I’m better staying. You’ll be better at explaining to Bruce, since you get on so well.’

‘Okay. Scream if he wakes up, hun.’

Steve sputtered indignantly, and Tony left the room with a smirk, not a second too soon, as Bruce was rounding the corner at the end of the corridor.

‘Hey, Science Bro! What’s up?’

Bruce raised an eyebrow.

‘Nothing much, except you dragging me from my work without a single word of explanation. So?’

Tony shifted slightly, a familiar nervous impulse that made Bruce wary.

‘Tony?’

‘Look, you’ve really got to try not to spaz out, okay? I’ve got a patient for you, and it’s one you’re gonna recognise. And I know you’re not gonna like it – neither do I – but he’s really fucking injured, man, and you’re the only one I trust to help him.’

Bruce was even more concerned by Tony’s rambling.

‘Tony, who is it?’

‘… Loki.’

Bruce felt like he had been punched in the stomach.

‘What?’ he hissed, heart pounding.

He took in a shaky breath to try and control himself, fists clenching.

‘Calm down, Bruce, please. Look, we just need to fix him up, and then we can find out what the hell he’s doing on Earth, especially looking like that. Please, dude.’

Bruce gave him a long-suffering look.

‘Fine. I’ll have a look at him. Shouldn’t we call Thor or something?’ he asked, following Tony back down the corridor.

‘Oh, I’m sorry, Bruce, but I don’t think Asgard has cell reception.’

‘No need to be rude, Tony.’

He was walked into a room that was better-equipped than most hospitals, and he put his bag down next to the bed, before finally dragging his eyes up to the patient. He gasped when he saw the state of Loki, immediately throwing himself forward to get to his most serious wounds. Loki’s ragged clothing was mostly torn from him easily, apart from the lower portion of his shirt which had unfortunately begun to bind with the wound.

‘Okay, I’m going to have to perform surgery,’ Bruce explained frantically, ‘So you two are gonna stand there and do _exactly what I say._ Understand?’

‘Yes, sir.’

***********************


	9. Dysphoria

_(What… what is this? Where am I?)_

_Loki awoke in chains as thick as those of Fenrir’s, and though his stomach rolled with each and every movement, he tugged on them violently. Head swimming, he tried to piece together the events that had led to this: Jötunheim, monster, Thor, throne, Bifrost, Odin, wormhole – ah. Death had been his intention, but who was he to argue with fate? Heavy eyelids finally forced themselves open, and Loki came face to face with a man-skeleton with eyes full of bloodlust and a twisted, toothy smirk. Loki skittered backwards despite himself, but he quickly recovered his courage._

_‘How dare you chain me in this manner?’ he roared, a mouse in front of a lion, ‘I am Loki of Asgard, and you will be punished for your crime!’_

_‘And I am Thanos the Titan!’ it bellowed back, ‘and a whelp like you should mind your tongue before it is ripped out!’_

_Loki was shocked into silence for a moment, eyeing Thanos indignantly._

_‘You- I am of the royal family, and Odin will send-’_

_‘Nobody will be sent; nobody is coming. Everyone in Asgard thinks that you are dead, and even if they didn’t, you are a traitor to the realm! No one cares for you now, boy-prince, if they ever did.’_

_Loki shuddered in the face of the truth. He had destroyed any hope of rescue with his own actions. Not even Thor would be looking for him now. He glared defiantly at Thanos, hands curling into fists._

_‘You wretched-’_

_**SLAP!** _

_Thanos’ hand cracked across his face with such force that it sent Loki reeling, his vision blurring and doubling. When he could see straight again, he unwisely opened his mouth once more, only to be punched roughly on the other side of his face. He heard a crack. He wondered distantly how long it would take for his cheekbone to heal with his-_

_His magic!_

_He drew the power deep up from inside himself as he had done thousands of times before, and directed it towards his hands so he could make Thanos pay. He grit his teeth, forcing it forward, but his arms started to shake as it reached his wrists, and suddenly, defying his will, it could go no further. Loki let out a pained cry as he was forced to let the power snap back into himself, the pressure taking his breath away. Dimly, he noticed Thanos pick up his left arm, as if it was that of a marionette, and dangle it in front of his face._

_‘These cuffs aren’t just for show, little Jötun monster. You have no magic here.’_

_Loki’s heart sank. He felt slick, warm blood trickle down his face and drip into his slack mouth, the bitter iron leaving him nauseous. Thanos was still smiling gleefully at him, and  
though his pride compelled him to fight him with his silver tongue, his self-preservation instinct prevented him from doing so._

_‘So, here’s the plan, little monster,’ Thanos whispered, sliding his hand down Loki’s side intimately, a move that made him shiver in horror, ‘I have something that I need you to do for me. But I know you won’t do it yet, because you’re too stubborn. Until you agree to my demands, you are going to stay here as my pet. I am going to hurt you, and humiliate you, and use you for my pleasure until you break. And then, then, the real fun will begin.’_

_Loki swallowed heavily, heart fluttering against his chest like hummingbird wings. He dared not speak, but he used his eyes to convey the loathing he felt for him, the same eyes that made courtiers quail and guards bow to his will. Thanos’ own face darkened, and his hand shot out, curling round Loki’s neck in a vice-like grip._

_‘You will be mine, monster. It won’t be long.’_

_The hand tightened, and tightened further, until Loki was choking and gasping for air, struggling weakly in desperation as his airway was compressed. Suddenly, Thanos let go, and Loki dragged in a ragged lungful of air so fast that it burned. He watched through half-lidded eyes as Thanos reached the door, and turned back, running a long, yellowed nail down the frame._

_‘I will see you tonight, boy-prince,’ he purred lasciviously, before slamming the door behind him with a clang._

_Loki slumped to the side and vomited._

***********************

‘His heart rate’s dropped a bit.’

‘Hmm. Yeah, it’s still pretty normal though. For a demigod. I think. Jeez, I’m flying blind here, Tony. ‘

‘Yeah, I know. But you did a pretty damn good job with his stomach anyway, so kudos to you.’

Lilting, vaguely familiar voices washed over Loki as he came to slowly. Groggy and disorientated, he tried to express his pain and discomfort with a whine, but no sound came out when he tried. His eyelids felt as though they were glued together, but he recognised the brightness that they concealed. He couldn’t be in Thanos’ dungeon any more. So then where was he? Panicking, he attempted movement in spite of his obvious injuries.

‘… way you can get those cuffs off him? If- hey! Did his fingers just twitch? I swear I saw his fingers twitch.’

Loki felt a presence move close to him, and he struggled to open his eyes. He squinted in the light, making out blurred shapes and colours.

‘Shit, sorry. Lights down a bit, please.’

Loki was grateful, though he couldn’t express it, when the brightness became more bearable, and his vision started to focus. Coherency returned to him, and he finally wrenched his eyelids open fully to see an awkward dark-haired man leant over him. 

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.

Heart thundering in his chest, he forced himself out of bed to a cacophony of beeps. Agony lanced through his stomach as he tore wiring and stitches alike in his desperation to get away from the Hulk-man who had beaten him into the floor at their last encounter. He heard the Hulk-man shout in protest, but he ignored it, and made a slaloming dash to the open door, only to slam into the hard chest of the American Captain. He struggled wildly but feebly, still under the influence of anaesthetic. The Captain held fast, however, and soon enough, he fell limp, bowing his head in submission.

‘Ha, look at that!’ the voice of Anthony Stark exclaimed, ‘Weak as a kitten!’

Loki froze and began to shake as Stark laughed, until the Hulk-man berated him.

‘Tony, stop, now!’ he hissed angrily.

Loki could only see the muscles in his neck cord and his fists ball, and his breath began to come in quick, short gasps. His knees weakened until the Captain was holding him upright. What did they intend to do to him, the unwilling destroyer of their people? His breathing became more and more difficult as he panicked, imagination shooting off in horrifying tangents. His vision tunnelled again, and he dimly heard the Captain speak (‘Loki, we aren’t going to hurt you.’), before he knew darkness again.

***********************

The battle was almost over; at least in Thor’s eyes. It would be hard won, as they had lost many men, but the body count of each day was decreasing slowly, and Thor had at his feet a leader of the Chitauri army. The thing hissed and spat at him like an animal, but Thor ignored it, tugging on its bindings to force it forward into the throne room, where Odin sat imperiously. As they neared the king, Thor kicked the back of the Chitauri’s knees to force it to kneel, a sword pushed into its neck. Odin stood slowly and approached, expression contemptuous to the highest degree.

‘So. Your… people have decided to try and conquer my kingdom. For what reason is that?’

The Chitauri remained silent for a moment, until Thor clouted it roughly across the back of the head.

‘Thanos would like to expand his dominion,’ it spat scornfully, ‘and since we already have your slut of a boy-prince, your realm was the logical place to begin.’

Thor froze for a moment, and exchanged a stunned glance with Odin.

‘What do you mean ‘boy-prince’?’ he demanded gruffly.

The Chitauri grinned, displaying cracked, rotten teeth.

‘I believe _Loki_ is his name, though ‘monster’ he is to us. But why do you care?’ it asked, eyes gleefully bright, ‘You never cared when we had him the first time.’

Suddenly, Thor felt as if a hand was cutting off his air supply.

‘The first time?’ he half whispered, pressing the sword into its throat until black blood trickled from where it pushed. ‘Explain!’

The Chitauri’s eyes took on a misty, almost nostalgic quality.

‘Oh, as if you don’t know! Before the attempt to take Midgard,’ it smiled, ‘oh, we had him then. We battered him and fucked him ‘til he wept. And then we bent his mind with the Infinity gem, so we didn’t have to get our hands dirty. ‘Tis a wonderful feeling to break such a pretty thing, though I don’t suppose you would know… or would you?’

Its mirthful eyes burnt into Thor, and it licked its lips obscenely, lost in some appalling memory. Then it turned back to Odin, who was deathly pale, gaping openly in horror.

‘… _oh.’_ The Chitauri tipped its head in question, ‘you didn’t think he did that of his own accord, did you? Ha! Such is the loyalty of the house of Odin!’

Nauseated and sickeningly guilty, Thor’s blood boiled at the disgusting revelations, and without further ado, he slit the creature’s throat, leaving it to bleed out on the throne room floor. He trembled as he looked up at his father, who stared with horror-filled eyes into the distance.

‘What have I done?’

***********************


	10. Tremor

_‘So… boy-prince,’ Thanos greeted Loki when his swollen eyes could open again, ‘are you ready to take up the task I have asked you to complete?’_

_Loki shuddered, unwilling to say yes, but unable to say no. He bowed his head and lowered his gaze in deference in the hope that it would dissuade Thanos from hurting him further, but his hopes were in vain. One powerful kick to his shattered ribs later, Loki let out a strangled whimper, tears of pain and mortification falling down his face. One of Thanos’ scaly fingers scraped the tears away roughly, bringing some of the skin from his cheek with it._

_‘Weakness will not be tolerated. Sentiment is not for the worthy.’_

_Thanos gripped his neck and pulled him upright by it, forcing him to rest his weight on fractured ankles. Loki gasped, biting his tongue until it bled._

_‘I ask again, monster. Are you ready? Are you ready to betray your family, and your realm for our cause?’_

_Loki trembled wordlessly under the titan’s furious gaze._

_‘You could have control of Asgard. Riches beyond your wildest dreams. Any women you wanted.’_

_‘I… I…’_

_Thanos’ lip curled, and Loki was thrown across the room, cracking his head against the stone._

_‘I tire of this game. I do not need your permission for your compliance, but it would have been nice to hear you say the words. Guard!’_

_One hunched cretin lumbered into the room, carrying in both hands a blue jewel the size of a heart. Loki watched nervously as it was transferred to Thanos, who took it to his chest like a child. Loki could do naught but stare in terror as Thanos held the gem out, chanting unrecognisably. As if drugged, Loki began to feel a strange compulsion to comply with whatever was asked of him; there was a reverence, a worshipful feeling almost, when he looked at the titan. He felt a euphoric buzz as his magic was restored, flexing his fingers as the power thrummed in his veins, but he had no desire to use it against Thanos. In fact, he couldn’t even remember why he ever had in the first place._

_‘Heal yourself,’ Thanos growled, ‘I need you to look presentable.’_

_Loki obeyed immediately, though he could not ameliorate the sickly pallor of his skin, nor put weight on his emaciated body. He fashioned himself new clothing to replace the old that would hide his bony form. Thanos handed him a long staff, fitting the jewel he held into the top._

_‘I need you to go to Midgard,’ Thanos ordered. ‘Find Erik Selvig. I will need him later.’_

_Loki nodded, eyes lidded, and followed the guard out of the room._

_Thanos smiled. Soon the Nine Realms would all be his._

***********************

Steve shifted restlessly in the chair by Loki’s bed. He was in the middle of a stint of what Bruce called ‘surveillance’, and what Tony called ‘babysitting John Doe’, and he was horrifically bored. He had finished his book, and the iPad which he had been playing games on was dying, the charger outside the room he wasn’t supposed to leave. He turned Angry Birds off with a click, and instead focused his attentions on the bedridden demigod. Now Loki wasn’t in imminent danger, or trying to escape from them, he had the chance to look at him properly. Despite Bruce having tried his best to patch up the worst wounds, it was evident to Steve that Loki had suffered. He was starkly pale, and painfully thin, with sharp, jutting cheekbones and hollow cheeks. When Steve had caught him, he had been disturbed by how little he weighed – only a little more than some he had helped liberate from the concentration camps. He also couldn’t help but wonder where Loki’s injuries had come from. Asgard? He couldn’t imagine that Thor would hurt his brother in such a way, but he had no knowledge of the punishments of the Aesir.

Leaning forward over the bed, Steve sighed softly. He was nothing if not compassionate, but even he knew he shouldn’t feel quite so protective over a murderer. Still, he had never seen a perpetrator look quite so much like a victim. In that moment, Loki’s head shifted on his pillow. Pale lips curled into a grimace and thin fingers flexed, before his eyes blinked open slowly, and his unfocused gaze fell on Steve. Steve saw his pupils dilate with fear almost immediately, and he began scrambling to get up again, but Steve wouldn’t let him. He restrained him against the bed, trying his best to be gentle, but the way Loki was writhing, mouth open in a soundless cry, must have pained him regardless. 

‘Calm down, Loki, calm down,’ Steve chanted imploringly, until Loki’s struggles ceased, and frightened green eyes watched him, wary.

Loki trembled infinitesimally, and Steve took his hands away from his shoulders, squeezing one lightly as he sat back in his chair.

‘We’re not going to hurt you. In fact, Bruce – Doctor Banner, that is – has patched up the worst of your wounds. We were just wondering who inflicted them on you.’

Loki’s frame relaxed marginally, though his gaze was still suspicious. He brought one cuffed, shaking hand up to gesture vaguely at his throat, and Steve cursed himself for forgetting.

‘I’m sorry. Can-can I just call Dr. Banner to come and check your vitals?’

Loki stiffened, sucking in a breath between his teeth. He stared cagily at Steve for a moment, who squirmed under the observation, then gave a small, singular nod. Steve sighed in relief, and asked JARVIS to call Bruce up. As they waited, they remained in uncomfortable silence; Steve out of awkwardness, Loki out of necessity. Then Bruce arrived, panting heavily as if he had just run from Tony’s lab (which he probably had). Loki curled in on himself, shrinking against the pillows as Bruce’s gaze fell on him.

‘Are you feeling alright?’ Bruce asked him kindly.

Loki nodded hurriedly, and Bruce moved forward slowly, so as not to startle him.

‘Now as Steve has probably told you, we’re not going to hurt you, Loki. What has gone before isn’t an issue right now, because you are my patient.’

Loki’s eyes were wide, and though he swallowed visibly, he relaxed a little. Taking that as a positive sign, Bruce began to check his vitals, using the machines at first, but when his hand moved to Loki’s face to hold open his eye, Loki flinched away violently.

‘I just need to check your pupil dilation,’ Bruce explained, gesturing to the light he held in his hand.

When he tried again, Loki remained still, and Bruce smiled at him.

‘Well, everything seems to be alright at the moment,’ he reassured, collecting his things together.

As he did so, he whispered to Steve when Loki wasn’t looking, ‘I should probably go and get Tony so he’s used to us all.’

Steve nodded, and Bruce turned to leave, but a slight tugging on his coat sleeve stopped him. He span back around to see Loki, eyes nervously downcast, and arm outstretched.

‘Yes, Loki, did you want something?’ he asked gently.

Loki picked at his handcuffs miserably, a question in his eyes.

‘We tried to get those off, but we couldn’t. Not with anything.’

Loki sighed and nodded in acknowledgement, looking down once more.

_‘Tony,’_ Bruce mouthed at Steve, and left.

***********************

‘Thor? Where are you going?’

Sif had never seen him look quite so grim throughout all of the time she had known him. He was striding purposefully towards the palace doors, and she was forced to scuttle along beside him as he did not stop for her.

‘Midgard,’ Thor bit out, his normal joviality strangely absent.

_Ah._

‘You are to see the Lady Jane?’ Sif answered lightly, the old bitterness working its way into her words without her permission.

‘No. Jane… Jane and I are no longer. She is a scientist who belongs on Midgard, and I am not.’

The guards barely managed to pull the doors apart in time for Thor to pass through them.

‘I need to find my brother, and find him fast. My friends in New York might be able to help me.’

Sif tensed, fingers brushing the handle of her sword.

‘I could come with you, and the others! You need not bring the Liesmith down on your own.’

They were almost running now, towards the Bifrost, and at Sif’s words, Thor’s face contorted into something that spoke of agony.

‘No, Sif. I have precious little time, but you must know this. Father and I have made a grave mistake. We _all_ have. Loki has been greatly wronged, and I need to find him for his own sake.’

‘But he is a liar and a murderer! How can you ignore his crimes?’ Sif asked indignantly.

‘Those crimes were not his own. And I apologise, but that is all I can say for the moment. Please, Sif, I need to go now.’

Sif slowed to a halt, staring at his swiftly retreating back in shock. Thor, however, broke into a run, skidding to a stop in front of Heimdall.

‘Heimdall! I need passage to Midgard as quickly as possible!’

With a piercing look, Heimdall slid his sword into place, opening the Bifrost.

‘You may be surprised by what you find, my prince,’ he stated impassively, but before Thor could ask what he meant, he was pulled into the light, and tumbling down to Earth.

***********************


	11. Brontide

_He was delirious with power; it thrummed through him like the centre of a warp core. Thanos had commanded that he take control of this realm, and so it would be done. As he stood on the Tesseract platform, it did not matter that he was wracked with shivers, that he was covered in cold sweat, nor that he had not eaten or slept in weeks. The little voice that whispered urgently in the back of his mind was drowned out by a sickly rush of bloodlust, directed towards the human scum that dared to stand in Thanos’ way._

_‘Sir, please put down the spear!’_

_He considered his weapon for a moment. They thought he would hold such a primitive arm as a spear? His attack on the one-eyed man was justified for his irreverent demand, and those who leapt to his defence were similarly incriminated. He fought with a strength he had not had in years, less desperation and more clean, sharp brutality – a style that Odin would surely be proud of. He chose the marksman as his pawn for his fearless loyalty; he was not unlike Thor. He tamed him with a press of his sceptre, and as the agent holstered his weapon, he felt pride in the power that Thanos had been so kind as to bestow upon him. He would not fail._

_The words he exchanged with the one-eyed man mattered not, as the Tesseract was his true goal. The scientist who had dared to mention him in the shadow of Odinson was brought underneath his control easily – his mind was weak. And it was lucky that he had his pawns, for they warned him of Fury’s tricks. He ordered Barton to shoot the director, who obeyed at once, and they left with their precious cargo. Their pursuers were terminated with relative ease with Loki’s borrowed sceptre, and as they sped off into the night, Loki shivered and smiled._

_Time for the real fun to begin._

***********************

‘Hey.’

Loki’s eyes snapped up to Stark as he swaggered into the room, arms held loosely and unthreatening by his sides. Drawing his knees up to his chest, and wincing at how the movement strained his tender stomach, he flicked his gaze worriedly to the Captain, who nodded in encouragement. He peered over his patellae at the Man of Iron, as if they could make a suitable barrier in the case of attack.

‘So… uh, a bit awkward, seeing as you threw me through a damn window the last time we met-’

He broke off as Loki shivered, thin fingers pressing into his shins until the skin beneath them turned white.

‘Shit. Look – I’m no good at ‘sensitive’,’ he admitted grumpily, fingers making air quotes, ‘but I know you’re all fucked in the head or whatever, so I’m gonna keep my completely understandable hatred for you on the lowdown for now.’

Apparently that had been the wrong thing to say, as he looked up to see Steve’s blazing glare. Loki’s face was ashen, and his sunken eyes were filled with terror.

‘Okay, communication error there. That means I’m not gonna hurt you.’

The unspoken ‘yet’ hung in the air between the three. Steve’s glare softened slightly, but did not disappear, much like Loki’s aura of fear. Shifting, Tony decided to try and calm him, and reached out to pat his leg, but as soon as Tony moved, Loki reared backwards and threw his sheets over himself, quivering in the foetal position. Tony stopped in his tracks, glancing guiltily at Steve, then turned to leave, bumping shoulders with Bruce on the way. Bruce stared at the trembling bump in the blankets.

‘Okay. I missed something here,’ he said slowly, holding a new IV bag by his side.

‘Tony…’ Steve began, then realised he didn’t need to say anything else. ‘Tony.’

Bruce gave him a wry smile, then motioned for him to get out of the chair.

‘Your shift is over, Steve. Thanks. Go and find that boyfriend of yours.’

Steve nodded, then turned to the huddled figure in the bed. One hand hovered over the blankets, before he patted what he assumed was Loki’s back gently.

‘See you later, Loki.’

The bump didn’t move. With a smile at Bruce, Steve left. Bruce sat down heavily in the chair Steve had vacated, and lay the IV bag on the table next to him, before turning to Loki.

‘Hey, it’s me,’ he whispered, hand grasping the sheets, ‘Can I take these off you, please?’

He was met with minimal resistance as he tugged gently, until he managed to reveal a heated and ruffled Loki. He smiled in amusement at his appearance, evoking twin spots of colour to emerge at Loki’s cheekbones.

‘You know Tony won’t hurt you, right? He’s just a bit of an idiot when it comes to saying what he wants to say.’

Loki shrugged his bony shoulders, not making eye contact, although Bruce tried his best. Sighing, he gave up on that particular venture, and grasped the IV bag instead.

‘Before I can just sit here with you, I need to change your IV bag, alright?’

Loki stared uncomprehendingly, until Bruce waved his hand at the stand next to him. He locked the IV tube in the roller clamp hook, and detached the old bag, before ripping off the protective shield and spiking the new one with practised ease. Loki stared in fascination as he checked the tubing for air and the drip chamber, then unclamped the tubing and adjusted the flow rate.

‘There. All done. You should be in less pain now.’

He smiled and sat back, hands clasped together, considering his next words carefully. Loki watched him warily, like an animal ready to bolt.

‘I know it’s not my business, Loki, but I have to ask you something. Your vocal cords have been… well, removed is the nicest way I can put it. Can I just ask – yes or no – did someone in Asgard do this?’

Loki watched him with a measured gaze, before shaking his head slightly, and looking down. Bruce let out a quiet, shaky sigh of relief. He was glad that that wasn’t Odin’s idea of punishment. There was a moment of silence, then Loki’s face contorted in a jaw-cracking yawn, and he looked sheepishly at Bruce. Bruce just chuckled.

‘Tired? Go to sleep then. Lord knows, unconsciousness and sleep aren’t the same thing.’

Loki slid down in the bed, and Bruce pulled the covers over him, smoothing down the fabric.

‘I’ll be here if you need me,’ he promised, pulling out a well-worn copy of Cloud Atlas.

Loki was out like a light.

***********************

Thor staggered sideways and fell on to unforgiving concrete as the Bifrost deposited him on Midgard. He glared up at the sky for a moment – ‘Curse you, Heimdall!’ – then pulled himself to his feet. He was in an alleyway next to a large body of water that he hoped was in Manhattan. Seeing streams of people pass by the end of the alley, he strode towards them, and yanked a suited man towards him by his tie. The businessman squeaked as he looked up into Thor’s face, so Thor tried to put on his best smile, which apparently didn’t work by the man’s quailing.

‘Good sir!’ he boomed, ‘Do you know of the whereabouts of Anthony Stark’s abode?’

The man pointed one trembling finger at the giant letters atop the tower in the distance, and Thor beamed brightly.

‘Thank you, friend!’

He let go of the crumpled tie, and patted the businessman on the head before marching purposefully out of the alleyway and towards the tower.

‘H-hey, a-aren’t you-’ the man began to ask, but Thor had already gone.

He reached the tower within minutes, bodily removing anyone who got in his way. Not knowing what else to do, he knocked so hard on the front door that the glass cracked beneath his knuckles, and he pulled his hand back guiltily. Soon after, the door opened, and a disgruntled-looking man greeted him, to Thor’s profuse thanks.

‘’s fine,’ the man muttered, ‘I’m just the chauffeur. Tony doesn’t like having doormen.’

Thor kept on smiling at him, unaware of what ‘doormen’ were.

‘Jesus, that’s creepy. Anyway, Tony’ll be down in a minute, if you’ll just wait here.’

He disappeared through a side door, shaking his head. Thor didn’t have to wait long.

‘Hey, Point Break! Good to see you, man!’

Tony descended the stairs with arms aloft, and Thor clapped him on the shoulder so hard his knees buckled.

‘I am glad to see you too, Anthony,’ he smiled, before his face grew solemn, ‘Friend Stark, I am in need of assistance. My brother-’

Tony held up a hand, and Thor stopped in confusion.

‘No need to say anything else, Thor. We actually have Loki here.’

Thor gasped in shock, a dizzying wave of relief flooding through him.

‘He is here? Is he alright?’

‘He’s alive and- well, I wouldn’t say _‘well’_ exactly, but he’s alive and coherent. For the most part.’

Thor’s answering smile was blinding.

‘I must see him! Oh, Anthony, we have made so many mistakes,’ he said, voice suddenly throbbing with sadness.

Tony motioned for him to follow, and they got into the elevator.

‘What do you mean?’ he asked quietly.

‘It is difficult to explain, but the simplest way I can put it is that Loki’s actions a year ago were not his own.’

The elevator stopped at the floor Loki was on, and Thor got out, but Tony remained frozen in place.

‘What do you mean?’ he repeated slowly, eyes fixed intently on Thor.

‘We have punished him for crimes that were not his own,’ Thor expelled feverishly, ‘He was not a willing participant in the events. I will attempt to explain further later, but now,  
Anthony, I must see my Loki.’

Swallowing, and still trying to process what he had just been told, Tony walked down the corridor on wobbly legs, an impatient Thor following closely. He stopped abruptly outside a closed door, and gestured Thor inside, waiting a moment before following him discreetly.

***********************


	12. Novitious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be coming a little slower from now since I've started at uni again, but I promise they will not stop coming until the story has reached its end!

_Thor dragged him from the aeroplane and threw him into a jagged wall of rock. Loki lay crumpled at the bottom, gasping. A spark of fear and of fury was lit in the back of his head, though it was suppressed by the drive to follow his orders._

_Loki smiled._

_Thor raved at him like a madman **(you always had a temper, dear one)** , but Loki parried the verbal blows with vicious words of his own, tongue twisting as he spat out what would hurt most. There was no reason Thor would notice anything different about him, for he too was convinced of the image of ‘Liesmith’, hateful, treacherous, mutinous. The shrieking voice in his mind beneath the fog rose to a steady wail_

_**(BROTHER, LOVE, BROTHER, LOVE!)** _

_but Loki pushed it away with little effort, savouring the expression of pain and betrayal on Thor’s face as he hissed out yet more bile. ‘Imagined slights’, yes ‘imagined slights’ how dare he? How **dare** he? He knew nothing of Loki whatsoever. _

_Suddenly the Man of Iron appeared and fought with Thor to Thanos’, and by extension, his own, glee. He could have run. He should have run. The sweet presence in his head tried to pull him to his feet, to force him away and away and **away** , but he resisted for reasons unknown, watching as the duel ended with the appearance of the American Captain and his shield. The shockwaves as Mjölnir ricocheted off the shield sent him to the floor again, gasping, and before he knew it, SHIELD operatives were cuffing him – similar to something he remembered keenly in some muddled memory – and he was once more in a cage._

***********************  
‘Oh… oh, _Loki.’_

Bruce got out of the chair and backed up to the far wall as Thor approached the bed with a broken expression. His large hands shook as he reached out lamely, not making contact with Loki’s emaciated body, but hovering above it. He felt like touching him would break him. As he looked down at what remained of his Trickster, Thor felt shame, fear, love, but most of all, guilt. His eyes welled with unavoidable tears, sickened at what his actions had driven Loki to, at what he had been reduced to. As the tears spilled over, he scrubbed roughly at his face with his hands, dropping into the chair beside the bed, which creaked ominously under his weight. He did not notice the others leave the room.  
When the tears had abated, he leant over the sleeping form, expression twisted in agony. With infinite care, he extended his arm and put one trembling hand on Loki’s thin face, thumb stroking his cheekbone.

‘Loki,’ he choked wetly, ‘It is alright. I am here.’

Loki shifted drowsily, and began to blink himself awake, hands tangling in the sheets. What Thor had not expected, as Loki woke fully, was the unadulterated terror in his eyes as he noticed his presence. Thor had but a moment of warning before Loki began to thrash wildly, a strange gargling noise coming from his throat as he tried to escape the bed. Desperate not to harm him, but faced with no other choice, Thor reached out to restrain him against the bed. Loki continued to struggle with horror-filled eyes, but Thor persisted.

‘Loki, it is alright. I am so sorry. I am so terribly sorry. I love you. I love you.’

Twisting feebly against his hands, Loki sobbed silently, and Thor wiped away his tears clumsily, his own making a threatening comeback.

‘Shh, Loki, shh. I am sorry – I was wrong. I was so wrong. Please, I am not here to hurt you. I am here to help you. Please.’

Slowly, Loki’s struggling weakened, and he stared up at Thor with a pitiful gaze, tears still leaking down his face. Thor hefted himself on to the bed beside him, avoiding the tangled wires, and pulled him carefully on to his lap, strong arms wrapping protectively around his shoulders.

‘You are safe, my love,’ he whispered against Loki’s hair, kissing his temple. ‘You are safe with me.’

Patiently, he wiped the tears away until they were gone, and rocked him gently until his trembling stopped.

‘How can I even begin to make amends for this?’ he asked rhetorically. ‘How can I ever make right the wrongs?’

Loki stared up at him blankly. Thor caught one wringing hand in his own and kissed the bony knuckles one by one, until he caught sight of the handcuffs he had missed before.

‘Banner!’ he roared furiously, causing a frightened Loki to try and scrabble away. He soothed him with a stroke of his matted hair, settling him back against his side as the doctor rushed red-cheeked into the room.

‘What is it?’ he asked breathlessly.

A vein in Thor’s temple throbbed as he held up Loki’s arm.

‘Why does my brother wear restraints?’ he hissed, fist clenching.

‘Woah, okay, calm down. We didn’t put those on him. Somebody else did. And no matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t get them off.’

Thor deflated slightly, lifting Loki’s wrist to examine the strange metal, anger still throbbing in him at whoever had done this.

‘Perhaps Father…’ he muttered thoughtfully.

Loki stiffened, and shook his head violently, tangled hair flying over his face as distressed choking sounds came from his throat. Bruce stepped forward in concern, but Thor held him tighter, shushing him.

‘Alright, we shall forget that idea for now.’

He turned back to Bruce.

‘He does not speak. Why does he not speak?’

Bruce quailed under his intense gaze.

‘Thor, whoever has had him has left him with some lasting injuries. His vocal cords – what we use to speak – have been, well… torn from his throat.’

Thor’s livid features tightened, and he cast a desperate glance down at Loki.

‘And this cannot be fixed?’

‘There is some new technology that could maybe replace them with synthetics, but that could take months, years even. I’m sorry.’

Thor tipped Loki’s chin up with his hand, forcing him to meet his eyes.

‘Magic?’ he asked softly.

Loki shook his head, hooking a thin finger in one cuff and tugging gently. Thor nodded, and closed his eyes, kissing his forehead.

‘Alright. I- thank you, Dr. Banner. For what you have done for my Loki.’

Bruce smiled awkwardly.

‘You’re welcome, Thor.’

***********************

Some hours later, the five men were assembled in Loki’s clinical room. Thor remained sat on the bed, a sleeping Loki curled child-like against his chest, while the others sat in chairs surrounding him.

‘My friends,’ Thor began gravely, stroking Loki’s arm as he shifted against him, ‘we have made a grave misjudgement. One that has almost cost Loki his life.’  
Steve’s eyes flicked guiltily over to Loki’s bowed head, then back to Thor. Tony squeezed his hand.

‘I am not sure how much you know of Loki’s story, so I will tell it for him. Have you read the legends?’

All three men nodded. Steve spoke hesitantly.

‘Thor… is all that true? About-about his children, I mean.’

Thor’s expression twisted with self-loathing, and he dropped a gentle kiss on top of Loki’s hair.

‘It is. My father believed a prophecy that warned him that they would help Loki win during Ragnarök – the end of times. That has never, and will never come to light, but the children were taken anyway. When I am king… they will be restored in Asgard. Apart from little Narfi, of course.’

He swallowed thickly. Steve felt ill.

‘Loki has been tormented for all his life, by his peers, by Asgard, by Father and I, sometimes. My Father has made great mistakes, but neither he nor I truly understood the depths of Loki’s pain. I was revered, and Loki was left to the shadows. In hindsight, I am not surprised that he eventually, as you Midgardians say, ‘lost it’.  
Thor took a deep breath in through his nose, as if telling the story was painful.

‘The time came for my coronation. Loki, as usual, was cast aside. Despite whatever Father had told him, he never had much of a chance of obtaining the throne, and he knew it. 

Blinded by bitterness, on the day, he let Frost Giants into Asgard, in the hope that I would make war with Jötunheim, and delay the coronation.’

‘Wait,’ Tony interrupted, ‘but isn’t he a Jö- _Jö-’_

‘Yes, he is a Jötunn,’ Thor whispered, ‘but he didn’t know it yet. I have since been told that while we were there, he made contact with one, and his skin did not burn with cold. It turned blue. I was too consumed by bloodlust and my own selfishness to notice anything was wrong. I argued with Father when we returned after narrowly avoiding a battle, and he banished me for my words.’

‘Bit harsh that, isn’t it?’ Tony asked.

Thor gave him a hard stare.

‘I was arrogant. I needed to learn humility in order to be right for the throne. In my absence, Loki confronted Father, obviously distressed, but before Father could assure him of his place in the family, he fell into Odin-sleep, a sort of ‘coma’-like state. Loki was given the throne, and he made plans to destroy Jötunheim in order to gain Father’s good favour. My friends came to warn me in time, and I returned to stop him. However, in the process, we both ended up hanging from the Rainbow Bridge, Father had caught me, and Loki hung on to Gungnir, which I held also. He-’

Thor’s breath hitched.

‘I still remember his last words clearly,’ he choked, ‘he said that he could have done it, for father, and for all of us. Father… he did not understand Loki’s desperation, but I did. Father told him no. And Loki let go.’

Steve gasped. Bruce looked nauseated. Thor watched the three of them with mournful eyes.

‘So he tried to destroy his own race to get your Dad to love him?’ Tony asked, bewildered, ‘Could your Dad not have told him he did before he got homicidal?’

The corners of Thor’s mouth drooped.

‘Father has made great mistakes,’ he repeated softly, ‘and the worst of them all, I believe, is allowing Loki to think he was unloved.’

Loki snuffled in his sleep, and Thor hitched him up on his chest, dropping kisses on his forehead.

‘I have always loved Loki like nobody else. We were very close. But as we got older, I allowed myself to be pulled away from him. I always had someone. He had no one.’

There was a sad silence in the room. Then Thor cleared his throat and began anew.

‘Loki fell into a wormhole. We thought him dead, and mourned him as if he were. That is why I was so angry when I encountered him on Midgard. At this very moment, we have just ended a battle with the Chituari. One filthy piece of scum from their army so kindly informed us that Loki had fallen into their clutches before he came to Midgard. It informed us that he had been tortured, that he had been violated, that he had been controlled by Thanos’ magic.’

He swept a weary gaze over the three of them.

‘I believe that the very same enchantments that were used to control your Hawkeye, were used to control my Loki. I did not think anything of it at the time, but on occasion, his eyes would seem a strange blue, when they are truly green. And there were also times when he would seem confused… strange. He wept sometimes when we fought. But I thought it manipulation. I thought wrong.’

He drew the blanket up further over him.

‘Loki may have been mischievous, chaotic… a trickster. But he was very rarely malicious. It was all in good humour. But even that I believed his betrayal for one moment, will haunt me for the rest of my life.’

Steve swept a hand over his eyes.

‘What happened after you returned to Asgard?’ he asked quietly.

‘He was imprisoned,’ Thor answered lowly, ‘in isolation. He was there for one year. I was never allowed to see him. The council forbade it. I cannot imagine the horror of such loneliness. And then there was an attack on the guards. The cell door wide open. We naturally assumed that Loki had escaped.’

‘But he hadn’t,’ Bruce interjected quietly.

Thor closed his eyes.

‘The Chitauri captured him again. And now this is what remains of my Loki.’

He swept a hand across the shivering form. The room fell silent once more.

***********************


	13. Contrition

_‘He will make you long for something as sweet as pain.’_

_The words echoed through Loki’s mind, battling with the cloying wave of calm and obedience that fell over him like a blanket, warm, yet somehow suffocating. He quivered imperceptibly under the harsh gaze of Thor, facing him down on top of Stark Tower. They had clashed fiercely, as on the Bifrost, only this time, Loki noticed, Thor was much less inclined towards sympathy. As the humans were preoccupied with the Chitauri forces, he and his brother had fought savagely – Thor for the sake of Midgard, Loki, with the sweet whispers of Thanos in his ears, for the sake of having nothing left to lose, and all too much to avoid. And then, he was caught, and a strong hand forced his gaze towards the ruined city._

_‘Look at this! Look around you! You think this madness will end with your rule?’_

_To Loki’s addled mind, Thor’s words were confusing and uncomfortable, and he tried to wrench his head away, to no avail. Thor’s entreaty gave him the strength, for one shining moment, to force down the wretched tsunami of compulsion and be free._

_‘It’s too late,’ he found himself whispering, the truth of his situation dawning. ‘It’s too late to stop it.’_

_And he relished the second of liberation before he was overwhelmed once more, and his flood of orders came crashing back from the dam he had used to hold them back. His inner self screamed in protest as he found his hand lifting, knife-laden, and surging forwards to stab Thor’s stomach._

_‘Sentiment,’ his mouth formed spitefully, before Thor threw him away, and he landed on a Chitauri chariot. Exhausted, he retreated inside his head, and Thanos took over completely. He could only watch through his own blank eyes the horror which his body was being used to inflict on the terrified humans, scattering frantically as the slaughter continues. Loki felt the titan’s glee in destruction, the anticipation of victory, the joy of bloodlust, and wept internally at what he could have avoided if he had only let Thor’s coronation be. He caught the Hawk’s arrow with ease, and smirked, satisfied, until the ensuing explosion from the end landed him back in the Tower. The Hulk man followed, and inside, Loki squealed in terror. Still, his self-important script continued to flow, but the green man’s attack forced his words to a sudden stop. He writhed, gasping for breath as he was pummelled into the floor, whimpering in pain when he could see straight again. Thanos howled in fury as his control began to short circuit, and as Loki lay winded, the wave in his mind receded slowly, until he felt almost like himself again. Horror filled him, both at what his compliance had caused, and the prospect of punishment from all sides. And just as he managed to pull his broken body upwards, Thor and his friends appeared in front of him, pointing all manner of weapons. With an enraged shriek, Thanos left his mind with one final, spiteful blast._

_‘If it's all the same to you. I'll have that drink.’_

***********************

Thor’s friends had long since left the room, in solemn, guilt-filled silence. Bruce had offered to stay with Loki while Thor rested, slept, ate, but Thor refused all offers. He would not leave his brother for the world. He had done that enough. He now lay next to Loki on the bed, who was lying awkwardly on his side, curling towards Thor. Bruce had attempted to shift him, saying that the position would probably pull his stitches and cause him pain, but every time he tried, Loki had moved back again, so he had given up. Thor ran gentle fingers through the matted tangled hair that fell almost to his shoulders, vowing to brush it through for him when he next woke. Though he wasn’t his usual self, Loki was normally very conscious of his appearance, and Thor smiled to himself as he reminisced about the times he had teased him for it, only to find himself with pink hair or a beard down to his waist the next day.

As Thor drifted, Loki’s breathing became suddenly erratic, and he was pulled unceremoniously from his memories when jagged nails cut into him through his clothes. 

‘Loki? Brother?’

Loki made no conscious reply, still submerged in whatever horrors remained in the confines of his own mind. He began to writhe and gasp, and Thor felt nauseated when his mouth opened in a scream, but only a gargling hiss escaped. Redoubling his efforts, Thor shook him by the shoulders, tapping his face. With a sudden jerk upright, Loki flew awake, and on seeing Thor, dissolved into silent tears. Thor brought him into his arms without a word, and Loki grasped at him blindly, tears wetting the juncture between his neck and shoulder and making him uncomfortable. Still, Thor continued to rock him like a child, shushing quietly and kissing his head. When his shaking stopped, Thor pulled him back so he could look into red-rimmed eyes.

‘I wish… I wish you could tell me of what you are experiencing,’ he whispered sadly, ‘but not as much as I wish you hadn’t experienced it in the first place.’

Loki’s gaze dropped mournfully, then darted back up again when Thor kissed his forehead.

‘No matter, my love. It is finished. It is over. And I will find a way for you to speak again.’

He nudged him with a playful turn to his lips.

‘I rather miss your berating.’

Loki’s lips curled into a tiny smile, and he looked up through his eyelashes almost shyly.

‘And I also have missed that smile!’ Thor laughed. ‘You shall be Trickster again afore long!’

Loki only leant against his shoulder in reply, frigid fingers winding around his arm, and a soft sigh falling from his lips. Thor’s smile faded along with his, and he furrowed his brow as a thought occurred suddenly to him.

‘Loki?’ he began abruptly, breaking the comfortable silence. ‘Why did you not tell us of Thanos when we returned to Asgard?’

Loki shivered at the mention of his name, and raised fearful eyes to Thor.

_‘You would not have believed me,’_ he mouthed, tongue curling clumsily around the silent words.

Thor’s face crumpled.

‘I would have,’ he whispered, ‘even if I did little to make you believe that. I would have.’

Thor bowed his head, as he prepared himself to bring up a subject Loki was not fond of.

‘And so would Father.’

Loki snorted, eyes narrowly fierce and lip curled. He shook his head roughly, and his hands moved from Thor’s arms to clench around his own sides.

‘He would have at least _considered_ the idea,’ Thor insisted, ‘and then looked for evidence.’

Loki’s expression was mutinous, his gaze fixed stubbornly on the bed and not on his brother.

‘He has made great mistakes. Terrible mistakes, that he will spend the rest of his life making up for. But he does love you. Even… even if he forgot that for a while.’

Loki remained rigid, and Thor slid a hand up his back in comfort. He was no grand orator – Loki had always been the one with a silver tongue, and Thor’s way of speaking had always been brash. Loki relaxed slowly, tight muscles loosening and arms falling slack as he fell once more into Thor’s warm embrace. He hadn’t the energy, nor the ability at the time, to argue.

‘I know it is something you are unwilling to do now, but perhaps when you are a little better, we can return to find Mother? We can avoid Father if that is what you wish, but I believe Mother will be able to release you from your bindings and restore your magic.’

There was no response, verbal or otherwise, apart from a shift of Loki’s hand, which moved from its place on his arm to rest over his heart.

It was a start.  
***********************

The clash of hammer hitting metal and muffled swear words were audible from two corridors and three doors away. Steve approached the workshop hesitantly, stepping through the glass door to be met with the sight of Tony staring furiously at a crumpled sheet of iron, blowtorch in one hand, the other gripping the table. As Steve appeared, he flicked the blowtorch off, and pulled up the mask, wiping one hand across his sweaty forehead. He said nothing.

Aware of Tony’s moods, Steve approached him with caution, and lay a gentle hand upon his shoulder.

‘What’re you working on?’ he asked faux-casually, feeling the tension in the muscles beneath his hand.

‘Nothin’,’ Tony muttered, ripping the mask off and chucking it across the table in front of him until it hit the wall at the other side. He blew out a long, shaky breath, and placed his hand firmly over Steve’s.

‘Are you alright, Stevie?’ he asked, eyes solemn.

Steve took a breath in to say that he was, but found he couldn’t. Expelling it in a loud whoosh, he dropped his head forward until it rested on the other shoulder, pressing his front up against Tony’s back. Tony turned, and curled his arms around him, pulling them flush against one another, and cradling Steve’s head in a gentle hand.

‘If it makes you feel any better, I’m not either,’ he choked, forcing a laugh so false that it didn’t even convince himself.

Steve pressed a soft kiss against his neck, and revelled in the shiver it triggered.

‘I just… I can’t believe everything he’s been through,’ he said quietly, hand fisting in Tony’s wife beater, ‘and I know I shouldn’t, but I feel guilty for sending him back to Asgard.’

Tony nodded in understanding.

‘I feel the same. But I told him to his face that I hated him. I thought it was funny when he was too weak to fight you off. I-’

He cut himself off, shaking his head. Steve felt a slight dampness on his neck, and drew Tony’s head back gently, watching him avert his gaze and blink back tears. His reddened face was filled with shame.

‘Look,’ Steve told him calmly, though his emotions were anything but, ‘as terrible as this situation is, we weren’t to know. Loki couldn’t tell us, and nobody else knew about it, so there’s not much use in feeling guilty. I know that won’t stop you – it won’t stop me – but what we have to concentrate on now is getting Loki better, okay?’

Tony gave him a long, unfathomable look. Then he bowed his head and nodded to the floor, his hand rising to grip at Steve’s like a drowning man would a lifebelt. Steve led him out of the room without a word towards one of the kitchens, but found himself jerked backwards as Tony pressed himself against the doorway of a lab.

‘Heeeey, Bruce!’

The bright, arrogant mask was back full force, shit-eating grin stretched widely across Tony’s face. Bruce looked up wearily, then raised an eyebrow. Suddenly, Tony’s smile dropped, and he raised his own back.

‘Time for food, Brucie-boy,’ he sang, ‘all work and no dinner makes you a boring, skinny ass nerd.’

‘Oh, thanks,’ Bruce grumbled, but Steve could tell he wasn’t annoyed. ‘Just… I just want five more-’

‘Nope!’ Tony interrupted, popping the ‘p’, ‘I always say that, then eight hours later, my stomach decides to try and self-combust. C’mon!’

Bruce gave them a long-suffering look, then sighed and got up, shuffling to the door in the manner or a sulky toddler. Tony smacked him on the back.

‘Great. Now, Bruce, I was just thinking… doesn’t Loki need to eat or something?’

Bruce stared at him incredulously.

‘You think I would have forgotten to feed him in the four days he’s been here? He’s being fed intravenously, Tony.’

‘Oh. Right. Why?’

‘Well, at first it was he was unconscious, then I didn’t think he would cooperate. But I reckon Thor’ll be able to get him to eat. I’ll sit them down this afternoon and bring some food with me.’

They reached the kitchen and Tony immediately reached for the noodles, which Steve plucked from his hand and replaced on the shelf.

‘Hey, Steve, what the hell?’

‘I’m making omelette,’ Steve replied quietly, ‘you need more than carbohydrates to live.’

‘Fine.’

Tony sat down and slumped on the table sullenly, side-eyeing Bruce.

‘What?’

‘Nothin’.’

‘C’mon Tony, what’s up?’

Tony sighed, and Steve, cracking eggs into a huge pan, pricked his ears up.

‘What’re we gonna do about Loki’s throat? Will he ever be able to speak again?’ he asked hopefully.

Bruce furrowed his brow.

‘There are two potential options, but nothing I can do. One: get synthetic vocal cords made and put in. But it would have to be someone discreet, because how will we manage to hide their identities, as obvious as they are? And two: Thor mentioned his father – or his mother, I can’t remember – and said that they might be able to fix it with magic. But Loki, of course, wasn’t up for that.’

Bruce smiled gratefully as Steve slid plates and cutlery in front of them both, and dug in without another word. Tony had to be coaxed into it by Steve, however, distracted as he was.

‘I think the second’s probably a better option, but how do we know they won’t just chuck him in prison again. I mean, from the shit I’ve read, Odin doesn’t seem to be the nicest guy.’

The omelette sliding down Steve’s throat felt uncomfortably slimy as he considered Tony’s words. 

‘He loves his Mom, though,’ he answered, ‘I know he does. And she loves him too. I don’t think… even if Odin wanted to punish him more, I don’t think she would let him.’

Bruce nodded in agreement, but Tony just pursed his lips, before shovelling more omelette into his mouth. They sat in uncomfortable silence when they had finished, each somewhat stupefied by the revelations of the day. Tony jumped when JARVIS piped up.

‘Sir, Agents Romanov and Barton are at the door. Should I let them in?’

All three men froze.

‘We can’t not, Tony,’ Steve said urgently, ‘they’ll call Fury and mess things up completely. Maybe if we try and explain to them before they jump to conclusions?’

Tony nodded sharply.

‘Yeah. JARVIS, let ‘em in, but don’t send Happy. I’ll be down in a moment.’

He pulled himself to his feet and strode to the door, Steve and Bruce following in his wake.

***********************


	14. Traducement

_Gagged, shackled and helpless, Loki allowed himself to be dragged by Thor. The ‘Avengers’ (or so they called themselves) followed behind with an air of superiority that would have infuriated Loki under different circumstances. Now, however, he was reticent. He was still trying to piece together his fractured mind, sorting between his own thoughts and emotions, and those ugly echoes of Thanos’._

_Oh._

_He stiffened in terror. He had considered briefly the horrors that might be bestowed on him by his father, but he had not thought of Thanos’ retribution. Surely it would be terrible – when they could steal him away from Asgard, that is. Shivering, he raised his gaze to Thor’s to try and gauge his situation. Thor, as always, was an open book, but when Loki looked at him now, he saw things that had not being directed at him before. Thor thrummed with repressed fury, and his demeanour was colder than Jötunheim. He seemed thoroughly unfeeling as he held out the glowing cerulean device, eyes focused dispassionately on the middle distance. Restricted by the heavy metal cutting into his jaw, Loki was unable to speak, but found he wouldn’t know what to say if he could. So he flicked his gaze up one last time and grabbed the handle that was offered to him, feeling the familiar disorientating pull as Thor’s end was twisted and it powered up, sending them back to Asgard._

_They landed in front of Heimdall in the usual ungainly fashion. The force of it sent Loki keeling over, and since he could not use his cuffed hands to break his fall, he landed flat on his face. Pain radiated through him as the gag smashed into his teeth and cut into his face. He could not suppress the muffled whimper that travelled faintly through the metal. Unlike in earlier days, when Thor would have endeavoured to sooth any pain belonging to Loki, he was ignored entirely. Thor regarded Heimdall instead, nodding shortly in recognition. Loki, with blood pouring down his chin, and flooding into his throat, was left to stagger to his feet and begin to follow his striding brother. He noted that everyone they encountered on the way to the throne room, be they guardsman or advisor or maid, looked upon him in a type of repulsion that made his heart drop and stomach roil. And all too soon, they were stood in front of heavy, gilded oak doors that two guards held open to reveal the king and his council. Thor dropped back while Loki was grabbed by rough hands and dragged to the centre of the room, forced into a chair that his handcuffs could be attached to. Odin sat imperiously on his throne, thin-lipped and regarding him with an amplified version of the face of disappointment that had met Loki so often in his youth. The councillors stood in a semi-circle in front of him, cloaked in black._

_‘Laufey-son,’ began the head councillor, voice echoing in the otherwise silent chamber, ‘you are accused and convicted of treason, murder, and attempted genocide. You have turned from all that is good, and brought great shame upon the land of the gods. After much deliberation, we have come to a conclusion. You are hereby-’_

_‘Wait!’_

_Loki was pulled mercilessly from his numb reverie by Thor’s interrupting shout. He turned his head with difficulty, craning to see Thor, as did everyone else in the room. Evidently unnerved by the amount of attention on him, he shifted awkwardly before speaking._

_‘Is my brother not to give his testimony before he is sentenced? I have never heard of a trial being conducted otherwise.’_

_Loki felt warmth bloom in his chest. Though Thor could not see it, he smiled weakly behind the gag. Even now, he was defended. But any illusion of absolution was shattered by Odin._

_‘Thor, you are not to disrupt the council,’ he bit out sharply, ‘for this is no trial. His crimes are proven and unforgiveable. The council has decided on his punishment in his absence, and he should be thankful that it is not death, as was suggested. He is not your brother, Thor, and you will hold. Your. Tongue!’_

_Loki was still twisted in his bindings, and he gave Thor a desperate look that was avoided entirely. The only champion he had ever had had given in almost immediately. He felt something like hysteria bubble up in him as the councillor continued to speak. The words bounced off him as if he had stuck cotton in his ears, so consumed was he in hopeless dread. He did not hear his punishment. He did not hear its length, or its particulars, or its conditions. Dazed, he was wrenched from his seat by his chains, and forced ahead of the guards, tripping and stumbling on the rough ground that led to the dungeons. He was dimly aware of Thor walking beside him, fists clenched tight as they descended into the dark._

_After what seemed like a lifetime, the group stopped in front of a large metal door, and upon its opening, Loki was shoved inside the dark cell it yielded, worn boots skidding on flagstone. He balanced unsteadily, arms wheeling in the air as he fought to stay upright. There was a commotion outside the door – Loki heard Thor’s booming tone if not the words he spoke – and suddenly, Thor was with him in the darkness. Loki’s weak knees finally gave way; he crumpled boneless to the cold floor as Thor approached, keys in hand.  
A decidedly ungentle hand grasped his jaw and tilted it upwards, exposing it to what little there was in the way of light. The key scraped along the metal of his gag, before clicking into place and turning. Blessed, blessed freedom. Loki sighed in pleasure as it was pulled from his face and he could breathe through his mouth again, blood notwithstanding. Thor frowned at the state of his face, and pulled a rag from his pocket, scrubbing away the red. Too rough. Loki huffed quietly in complaint, twisting his face away like a child from a facecloth. There was a faint flicker of amusement in Thor’s eyes, but it died quickly. The rag was pulled away, and his handcuffs unlocked in one swift movement._

_‘That is all I can do.’ he said gruffly. ‘You… you have disappointed me greatly.’_

_Loki’s tongue felt as if it were knotted tight._

_**It wasn’t me, brother, I swear.** _

_**Do you truly think me capable of such atrocities?** _

_**Do you feel any love towards me now? Any at all?** _

_He opened his mouth to blurt out any and all of the questions swirling round in his head, but nothing came out._

_**You would not believe me.** _

_‘Thor, I…’_

_He could not continue. There came a sorrowful look from the man he loved beyond all others._

_‘I must leave now.’_

_Thor shuddered visibly as he turned to leave, striding through the door and slamming it shut behind him. Loki did not react until he heard the lock turn, and his nightmare began._

_‘No! Thor, don’t leave me!’ he cried, scrambling towards the door and hammering on it. ‘Please come back!’_

_He slid to his knees once more, sobbing, keening._

_‘Please!’_

_His forehead made contact with the unforgiving metal._

_‘Please.’_

***********************

Cautiously, after a long silence, the head councillor spoke.

‘My King? You called us here to… rectify a mistake?’

Odin finally raised his head, and though none voiced it, many in the council were shocked by his pallid face and bloodshot eyes.

‘Yes. I have.’

His normally proud voice was uncertain and grave.

‘Asgard has, and I most certainly have, wronged my son.’

There was only confusion on the faces of the councillors.

‘The crown prince, your majesty?’ the head councillor asked.

‘No, Alvis. My other son.’

There was a communal intake of breath. Odin closed his eyes for a moment.

‘I am talking of Loki. Who, contrary to all our beliefs, did not willingly commit the atrocities he has been punished for. The Chitauri,’ his voice grew stronger, ‘were his abductors before the events of Midgard, and again recently, when our guards were murdered. He was tortured in their lair, and controlled via the use of the Infinity Gem, which Thanos still has control over. If you wish for proof, there are a number of the scum interred in the dungeons.’

Alvis stared at the Allfather in horror, chest tight.

‘He did not have a choice in the matter of New York,’ he stated quietly.

Odin took a shaky breath in.

‘No, he did not. He was tormented, forced into actions against his nature, and then punished for them on Asgard. After which, he was taken again. He was given no chance to   
explain. I have failed him. We have failed him.’

Silence presided once more. Though as many others, the councillors had not been particularly fond of the mischievous prince, not one of them felt anything less than shame. A sudden thought came to Alvis.

‘And where is Prince Loki right now?’

Odin raised eyes heavy with grief to his chief councillor.

‘I know not. He may still be in the clutches of Thanos. He may be elsewhere. I have sent Thor to Midgard to obtain the aid of his friends and find Loki. Until then, I do not know his fate.’

Odin’s voice trailed off.

‘If he lives,’ he said quietly, almost a whisper, ‘Asgard owes him much.’

Alvis nodded sharply. Odin looked up and raised his voice until it filled the room.

‘I want messengers dispatched around the realm. My son’s name will be cleared as soon as possible. Thank you for your time, council.’

***********************

Clint and Natasha were whispering to one another when the three men entered the lobby.

‘Clintasha! How may I help you?’ Tony drawled, Winning Smile Number 14 fixed on his lips.

Natasha raised an eyebrow.

‘Can’t we just come and visit?’ Clint blustered, one hand fiddling with the strap of his quiver.

‘Nice try, Merida,’ Tony deadpanned, ‘but you call ahead when you come to visit, and do you seriously carry your bow and arrows everywhere?’

‘Look,’ Natasha replied archly, ‘I’ll be straight with you. Fury asked us to come and visit because none have you have bugged him for a couple of days, and apparently, that’s an oddity. So. What’s happened?’

Tony faltered, and as the most diplomatic of the group, Bruce took over.

‘Okay. You’ve been straight with us, so we’ll be straight with you. I only ask that you don’t freak out until we’ve finished our piece. Please.’

Clint and Natasha exchanged a look, then Clint nodded for the both of them.

‘Alrighty then,’ Tony grinned, ‘but this isn’t the best place. Upstairs alright?’

Without waiting for an answer, he smacked the elevator button and stepped in, waiting for the rest of them to follow before pressing the floor number. There was a moment of awkward silence, in which Natasha eyed them all suspiciously, but soon enough they’d reached their floor, and Tony led them into what looked like a debriefing room.

‘Man, I swear this place gets more rooms every time I’m here,’ Clint remarked, whistling.

Normally, Tony would have responded with some arrogant affirmation, but his nerves prevented him from doing so. He pretended not to notice Natasha’s narrowed gaze. He gestured for them all to sit with a theatrical sweep of his arm, and span a chair around, straddling it and leaning his chin on the back.

‘Right. Want me to start?’ he asked Steve and Bruce, and seeing them both shrug, continued, ‘Okay. As Bruce said before, I would ask that you keep an open mind, and please, don’t run off to Fury until we’ve got the whole of it bashed out. I said please. Me.’

Clint and Natasha both nodded, but Tony just knew that the former wouldn’t take the news well. He opened and closed his mouth a few times redundantly, before deciding just to throw everything they knew out there.

‘So what if I told you that when Loki destroyed New York, he wasn’t doing it of his own volition?’

There was a moment of stunned silence.

‘What are you talking about, Stark?’ Clint demanded, voice dripping with contemptuous disbelief.

‘What- what if I told you that he was being controlled just as you were? That everything he did from the second he came to Earth was due to a little voice whispering in the back of his head?’

‘I’d tell you that you’re wrong.’ Clint growled, ‘That son of a bitch knew exactly what he was doing.’

‘Speak plainly, Stark,’ Natasha cut in icily, ‘because I’m starting to think I know exactly what you have in this tower.’

Realisation dawned on Clint’s face, before it twisted into an ugly expression of fury.

Steve held a hand up in warning.

‘Clint, please let us explain everything before you react in that way.’

It was less Steve’s plea and more Natasha’s firm hand on his shoulder that made Clint sink back into his seat. Steve continued rapidly and quietly.

‘A couple of days ago, Tony and I were at the docks when we saw Loki, soaked to the bone and bleeding all over the place. He needed medical attention and we couldn’t exactly leave him in the middle of New York, so we brought him back here and fixed him up, even though Tony wasn’t too fond of the idea at the time.’

Clint’s face was bright red with anger, eyes wide and veins protruding in his forehead. Steve spoke ever faster.

‘It was pretty clear when he woke that he was absolutely terrified of us all – nothing like what he acted last year – and he fainted clean away in his panic. Thor turned up the next day, and told us something rather disturbing. Asgard is at war at the moment, and after capturing one of the enemy, it bragged to Thor about their torture and mind control of Loki before the events in New York, and that they’d managed to kidnap him again. Thor and his father just thought he’d escaped from prison, but apparently not. So, Loki’s a hot mess right now. Scared of everyone and everything. It’s pretty sad really.’

Natasha was quiet and contemplative after Steve had finished speaking, but Clint glared at them all.

‘Like fuck he’s scared. That bastard killed Coulson! He used me as his pawn! I don’t believe you’ve been drawn in to his web of lies. Fuck this – I’m gonna find him.’

Clint was out of his chair and out of the room before anyone could catch him, though Natasha was right behind him. Tony swore as they chased him up the stairs, knowing that he’d seen the treatment room last time he visited.

‘Clint, stop!’ Steve yelled, rather redundantly, as Clint turned a corner on to the corridor Loki was on. 

Loki had been sitting quietly with Thor, pulling at loose threads on his shirt when the door burst open to reveal an apoplectic Hawkeye. Thor stood up to cover him, drawing himself up to his full height as he opened his mouth to ask what in Odin’s name was going on, but Clint’s mere appearance was enough for Loki. He tumbled off the bed and scrambled into the corner, as far away from Clint as possible, breathing rapidly. He could vaguely hear voices raised, and his eyes squeezed themselves shut, tears leaking from the corners. It felt as if someone had a hand compressing his throat; he struggled to draw even a shallow breath through his constricted windpipe. But then he felt someone draw near, and though he flinched, a gentle hand slid through his hair. When the angry shouting had ceased, and Loki deemed it safe enough, he opened his eyes slowly to find Miss. Romanov crouched in front of him, expression unreadable, but not hostile.

‘He’ll see sense,’ she promised calmly, patting his leg before she got up and vacated the room.

It wasn’t long before Thor hurried back in, face as thunderous as the storms he conjured. The anger melted away when he saw Loki, however, and he lifted him into his arms like a babe, placing him in his lap as he sat on the rumpled bed.

‘He will not hurt you, my love,’ he growled deeply, ‘I will not allow it.’

Loki tentatively believed him.

***********************


	15. Saudade

_Loki’s throat burned from screaming, his eyes bloodshot and sticky to the touch. He cursed himself internally for staying silent when it had mattered to speak – perhaps Thor might have listened? No. No, the rift between them had grown too large. He felt it as a wound in his chest, open and festering, unstitched and unhealed. He ached for repentance, for life as it once was, when he knew nothing but his family, and the stinging taunts of others were soothed by Thor’s mere shining presence. But now he had nothing.  
For the first time he surveyed his surroundings. His cell was small and dingy, the flagstones beneath his thinly-soled boots were freezing, and he could see very little in the oppressive darkness. He was still leant against the door, so with monumental effort, he dragged himself away, shuffling into a corner in the vain hope that the intersection would yield more heat. Odin had ripped all but the scraps of his magic away from him, yet Loki managed to dredge up what he thought was the very last of it to warm his frigid skin. He let out a quiet sigh of pleasure as he flexed the numbness away from his fingers and toes, settling back into his alcove._

_He heard a loud clash and looked up to find a pair of eyes staring at him through a slot in the door. Moments later, the slot slammed shut and the door was pushed open to reveal a heavy-set guard, carrying a tray of food and water, which he placed at the other side of the room, before striding straight back to the exit._

_‘Gunnarr?’ Loki called timidly, and the hulking man froze with his back to him. ‘That is your name, isn’t it?’_

_After a beat of silence, Gunnarr’s shoulders dropped and he stalked back out the room, slamming and locking the door behind him. Feeling hurt (though he knew he had no right to), Loki crawled from his corner over to the tray, grimacing at the plain, meagre rations he’d been given (though he supposed he should be grateful for anything at all). He picked at the stale bread and ripe cheese, forcing as much as possible down his throat, though every swallow required energy he didn’t have. When he could no longer stand the repetitive unpleasantness, he let the mouthful in his hand fall to the plate and retreated back to the corner, curling into a ball. The guard that came in minutes later to retrieve the tray made no attempt at communication, though Loki eyed him hopefully, lips curved around the beginnings of his name as he ambled out of the door._

_Hours passed in monotony. There were only so many times one could practice languages, or play games or write stories within the mind, and Loki soon tired of it. The click of a key turning, however, brightened his spirits. He looked up through his eyelashes at the newcomer, smiling softly as he recognised the healer he had had since childhood._

_‘Hilda,’ he breathed, beaming so widely it hurt his sore mouth._

_She padded over to him, gaze lowered, and when he realised she wasn’t going to acknowledge him, Loki felt a cold shiver run through him. She, with gentle hands, raised his chin and fixed his mouth with her magic, teeth shifting painfully back into place, and bloody cuts sealing._

_‘Hilda?’ he questioned brokenly, ‘why won’t you speak to me? Why won’t anyone speak to me?’_

_There was a moment of quiet, before Hilda's gaze shifted to the side._

_‘Those are the conditions of your imprisonment,’ she whispered, almost inaudible._

_Loki took a second to absorb the horror of this new information as Hilda healed the rest of his external injuries._

_‘But… never? Never, ever?’_

_The words trailed off, his breath catching. Hilda shook her head sadly, opening her mouth, before letting it close without words. She gave him one last solemn look, before retreating to the door._

_‘Hilda, please!’ Loki hissed out tearfully, ‘I can’t… please talk to me.’_

_She stopped at the threshold._

_‘I can’t,’ she mouthed, turning and leaving before Loki could draw his next breath._

***********************

There were whispers throughout the realm even as the messengers were first dispatched. Some thought it would be Prince Thor announcing his engagement. Others believed it to be news of the execution of the Liesmith. But none suspected it to be that which it was – a statement of correction and regret, regarding the fallen prince. The news - heard at first by few - ignited the gossip chain, and before long, all of Asgard knew of the false accusations made against Loki. There was an air of confusion, melancholy, even guilt from the significant number who had been baying for his blood. Yet the question on most people’s lips was not ‘How could we have misjudged so harshly?’, nor ‘What could have been done differently?’ It was, instead, ‘where is Loki now?’

Sif jogged through the corridors of the palace, clutching a crumpled piece of paper in one shaking hand. The guards could barely open doors fast enough for her, but she paid their startled looks no mind. She had to find Odin. On her journey, she ended up in one of the quieter wings, confused as to why the king was nowhere to be found. She stopped in her tracks as the faint sound of weeping travelled to her ears, each ragged inhale sending an uncomfortable shiver up her spine. Knocking firmly on the door, she entered with the quiet ‘come in’. Sif had never seen this room, though she knew immediately who it belonged to from the odd decoration, and the strange sense of neglect that permeated the air. Frigga was slumped, sobbing, head on her youngest son’s plush bed.

‘My queen,’ Sif gasped, ‘I am sorry. I-I did not mean-’

‘No,’ Frigga choked, raising her head to stare at her through puffy, sunken eyes, ‘do not apologise, Sif. We each have many apologies to make, but none to one another. Please sit.’  
She gestured to the bed she knelt by, but Sif would not willingly place herself above her queen. Instead, she dropped cautiously beside her, laying a tentative hand on her shaking back. A lump rose in her throat at seeing the ever-gentle, ever-composed Frigga like this.

‘Is it true?’ she asked hoarsely, ‘Is Loki innocent in this?’

Those haunting, red-rimmed eyes raised to hers once more.

‘My boy is many things.’ She said, tremulous voice making Sif wince, ‘He is mischievous, he is quick-witted, and he is sharp-tongued. While all others marvelled solely at Thor’s sparring skills, I alone appreciated the genius and endurance of Loki. I trained him in his magic, against my husband’s will, and taught him control – to value words over actions.’

She stopped abruptly and sniffed, placing one trembling hand over her mouth for a moment.

‘I disagreed with many of my husband’s choices, Sif. Loki was always punished too harshly for his misdemeanours, not least with the removal of his- of his children.’

She stared sadly at Sif, hand moving to clasp hers.

‘I wanted the children to live here in the palace, because however they were guised, they were our family. _No matter their appearance, they were family._ But Odin was frightened by the prophecy, and I? I trusted. I trusted when I should not have. When I heard of Loki's treachery before Thor’s aborted coronation, I was not angry. I was merely sad. Even when Thor told me of his intention to destroy Jötunheim, I could not remove from my mind the image of my little boy, who lashed out, because he didn’t feel good enough. And did Thor not have the same intentions in earlier days?’

Her imploring eyes caught Sif unawares, but she still nodded numbly, unable to deny it.

‘I thought him dead for so long – as we all did. The moment I heard the truth, I was overjoyed in spite of the conditions of the news. But his actions on Midgard truly made me doubt him for the first time. I could understand his hatred towards the Jötuns, but the humans? They were innocent. I was horrified, Sif, that my child could have sunk so low. I was not told of his return to Asgard, however, until his sentence had been passed, and he was confined to the dungeons. I wanted to confront him, to ask him why he had done such things, but I was barred from visiting him by the council-’

She broke off once more, a fresh wave of tears dribbling down her stained face, but she waved away Sif’s offered handkerchief.

‘It is only now that I realise I should have tried harder, done better, been louder about my doubts. My poor, _precious_ boy. Has he not endured enough in his life? I do not know where he is. I do not know if those _scum_ still have him, or if he has managed to escape them. I do not know if he is alive, o-or-’

She clutched at Sif’s hand as she sobbed.

‘Forgive me,’ she blurted, ‘I am not myself. Odin has locked himself away, numb with guilt, and with grief. He has lost all hope. I can see it in his eyes. But I have not, Sif.’

She stared fervently at her lady, grasp stronger than ever.

‘I will _never_ give up hope.’

***********************

Natasha was not perturbed when she walked into the wrecked debriefing room, though any other might have been. Amongst the upended tables and broken chairs, Clint stood rigidly, chest heaving and tendons corded. Instead of speaking, she wound her way around the debris and perched on one of the remaining upright tables, cheek resting in her palm as she waited for Clint to react to her presence. She had seen him angry many, many times, but none such as this. He trembled like a frightened animal, fists clenching until his knuckles were white with strain, teeth bared in a feral, menacing grimace.

‘He!-’

It was a strangled yelp that made Natasha wince in empathy. She could only imagine what Clint must be feeling right now, to have his tormentor so near, yet be unable to get retribution. She remained silent, watching his tense back.

‘He was inside my head, Tasha!’ he shouted finally, voice cracking. ‘Do you know what that’s like? To be there somewhere in the back of your head while some maniac takes control of your body? The things I did, Tasha! I will never be free of the things he made me do!’

His voice wobbled as he finished, and Natasha watched him drop on to a chair and sink his head into his hands. She approached, cat-like, and knelt by him, anchoring hands on his knees.

‘Clint, I know you’re hurting,’ she began, ‘and you have the right to be. But imagine this: imagine if he’d made you control someone in turn. Imagine what was in your head telling what was in their head what to do. I know you’ve hated him for so long, Clint, but that’s what happened to Loki.’

‘No! No. It wasn’t like that with him! H-he knew what he was doing!’

She prised away one of the hands covering his watery eyes, and held it in both of hers.

‘Clint, you and I both know that that isn’t true.’

He stared at her for a long moment, then a shaky sigh forced a tear down his cheek. He wrenched himself away, ashamed, but Natasha followed him. He stood in front of the window, gripping the alcove walls with outstretched hands.

‘For over a year, I have known that Loki was the bad guy. That everything I did on those days was because he wanted a mind slave to pander to his every whim. And now you’re telling me that everything I’ve known to be true about all that is wrong?’

The question was both indignant and pleading. Natasha slipped her arms around him, leaning up to press a kiss to the nape of his neck.

‘He isn’t innocent, Clint. But he was from the moment he came to Earth. Think about how you felt when you came out from that fog, and now multiply it. Loki, under this ‘enemy’s’ control, killed hundreds of people. He now has to live with the misplaced guilt of doing that, as you have to live with the misplaced guilt of being forced to kill those you did. He doesn’t need any more enemies, Дорогая.’

It took a moment, but Clint eventually nodded, head bowed. He turned in her embrace and pulled his arms around her tightly.

‘I know you’re not going to be best friends,’ Natasha whispered, ‘but even we didn’t like each other at first. Remember Budapest?’

She felt his lips curve against her neck.

‘Mmm, how could I not?’

She rolled her eyes fondly, though he couldn’t see.

‘Just try. That’s all I ask. For me if not for yourself.’

‘Alright.’

He took his head out of the crook of her shoulder and smiled in a way that looked more painful than happy. She kissed him lightly.

‘Come on. Let’s find Banner.’

The erstwhile physicist was just emerging from Loki’s room when Natasha and Clint encountered him. For a moment, he floundered, hand grasping the door handle, but Clint held up a hand.

‘It’s alright,’ he grumbled, ‘I just wanna talk to you.’

Bruce nodded cautiously, hand tightening ever so slightly around his notes.

‘R-right. Where-um where do you want to go?’

Clint shrugged.

‘Wherever. Just as long as it’s private.’

‘My lab alright? Nobody ever really comes in there, unless Tony’s trying to drag me into something.’

‘Yes, that’s fine,’ Natasha answered, ‘can we go now?’

‘Yeah. Um, follow me.’

The walk was awkwardly silent, though Bruce seemed eager to fill it. He opened his mouth a few times to speak, but when neither seemed to be looking, he gave up, and led them quietly. Bruce’s lab was haphazard, though nothing like Tony’s workshop was. Clint and Natasha dropped into chairs almost immediately, but Bruce wandered, wringing his hands.

‘So. What do you wanna talk about?’

‘Who do you think?’ Clint deadpanned. He flicked his chin upwards.

‘Loki. Right. What about him? Do you want an overview?’

Natasha looked to Clint, raising an eyebrow at him.

‘I want to know what happened to him properly. The details were skimmed over before – I guess for a good reason, but still.’

Bruce took a deep breath in.

‘Okay. Do you know anything about Loki before New York?’

Clint shook his head.

‘I’ll give you my mythology book so you can read up on his background, but basically, Loki’s life was pretty crap for a prince. Um. I’ll just skip to the lead-up to New York, alright? So, Thor was about to be crowned, and Loki wanted to ruin his fun. You know he’s a Jötunn, right?’

Natasha nodded, but Clint looked confused.

‘I’ll explain later.’ she whispered, ‘It’s not important right now.’

‘He let a group of them into Asgard, which wrecked the day. Thor wanted revenge on them, and Loki egged him on, so they ended up going to Jötunheim to fight. Things escalated and when they got back to Asgard, Odin banished Thor – that was when he first ended up on Earth. So Loki’s found out he’s a Frost Giant, he’s jealous of his brother and angry at pretty much everyone else. He was briefly king, but Thor says he didn’t want to be. He was just fed up of everyone liking Thor more than him. A justified reason for a hissy fit, but this went beyond that. Thor got back to Asgard, Loki threated to destroy Jötunheim, and basically, while fighting, they ended up dangling off this Rainbow Bridge thing. And then Loki let go. I don’t think he wanted to live anymore.’

Bruce broke off, looking troubled.

‘Loki wanted to kill himself?’ Clint asked incredulously.

‘I don’t know if it’s as simple as that, Clint. There’s a difference between throwing yourself in front of a car and not moving when one is coming towards you. I just don’t think he saw any other options at the time. Some of the punishments that he’s endured before – as you’ll see if you read the book – were pretty damn horrendous.’

‘But if Loki let go… shouldn’t he be dead?’ Natasha asked.

‘Well that’s the thing. Somehow he ended up on a Chituari ship. That’s the ‘enemy’ Tony mentioned. Their leader is called Thanos, and they’re the things that came out of the sky in New York.’

‘Those skeleton creatures?’ Natasha asked.

‘Yeah, those. And basically… he was tortured. Raped. We don’t know how long he was there for – even Thor seems pretty vague about it – but obviously enough to do some real damage. And then, according to Thor, Thanos took control of Loki and forced him to attack New York. In hindsight, Thor says that there were moments when they were fighting where he saw Loki ‘emerge’, as it were.’

Natasha was poker-faced, though it didn’t reflect what she felt inside. She watched Clint warily out of the corner of her eye; his face was ashen and his teeth dug into his lower lip. It seemed that she would be the one who would have to continue.

‘And then afterwards in Asgard? How did he end up there _again?_ And why didn’t he tell anyone that he had killed against his will?’

Bruce sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.

‘I think he thought that nobody would believe him. Either that, or his head hadn’t righted itself completely – you were a bit off for a while weren’t you?’

Clint nodded distantly.

‘All that we know is that there was no trial, and Loki was put in prison, isolated from everyone. And after a year, the head guard found all his guys dead on the floor in front of the cell with the door wide open. So what do you think they thought?’

‘They blamed him, of course,’ Natasha answered coolly. ‘And I assume that they were baying for his blood.’

‘Yeah,’ Bruce whispered, ‘even though he’d been dragged back to his torture chamber, Odin apparently ordered his execution.’

‘Execution?’ Clint choked, surprised, ‘His dad wanted him dead?’

A sad shrug.

‘Guess so. But then, Loki’s never been treated like Thor. Did you know that Thor once vowed to kill the Jötuns? No? Neither did I. There’s shades of grey here, guys. Anyway, Loki somehow managed to escape from the Chitauri, and Tony and Steve found him being pulled out of the Hudson River by some kid on a boat.’

‘Wait, wait, wait.’ Clint held his hand out. ‘How did Loki escape?’

‘No idea, and- oh. I haven’t told you, have I? He can’t speak. Looks like his vocal cords have been full on ripped out. There’s nothing functioning there anymore.’

‘But his magic?’ Natasha questioned.

‘Did you see those handcuffs around his wrists? They prevent him from using his magic, and the only way Thor can think to get them off – we’ve tried, by the way – is to ask his mom or dad. Loki isn’t exactly enthusiastic about that idea.’

‘No shit,’ Clint muttered. After a moment of silence, he looked up. ‘Can we see him?’

Bruce looked nervous.

‘I’m not gonna try and hurt him, I swear. And Big Brother Thunder can stay if he wants. I just… I need to talk to him as something other than an enemy.’

‘Sure. Follow me.’

***********************


	16. Nemesism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little one to tide you guys over for now!

_What he wouldn’t do for some water. Just a drop. Just a tiny sip of that glorious liquid to soothe his dry throat and swollen tongue. The guards hadn’t turned up for weeks now. He would have assumed the whole dungeon was abandoned if only he couldn’t hear the rhythmic pound of patrolling feet echoing down the corridor. Somehow, that made it worse. His stomach growled uncomfortably, clenching though there was nothing to digest. He had long since eaten every last crumb of what remained on the abandoned tray on the other side of the room, but still he stared longingly at it, imagining with ravenous clarity a plate full of the wonderful feast food at the tables of Odin. Rich, succulent pork, thick, warm broth, bread with butter melted into it – oh! For a slice of bread._

_Of course, food and drink weren’t absolutely necessary for his survival. He was a God, after all. But he still felt the hunger pangs and desperate thirst of a human. He could feel his body eating away at itself, helpless to do anything about it without his magic. He almost thought he was imagining things when the door squeaked open and a full tray clattered to the floor in front of him. Paying no mind to whoever had put it there, he scrabbled forward on hands and knees, shoving what he could into his mouth, and draining the cup dry. He looked up once at a small sound of disgust, the blood from rare meat dripping down his chin, but the nameless guard’s expression wasn’t enough to hold his attention for long. Not when he finally had what he had been dreaming of for weeks._

_‘You’d better get used to getting fed less, ya pig,’ the guard spat, but even that didn’t permeate Loki’s ears._

_What he did hear, however, was the slamming of the lock back into place, which snapped him out of his gluttonous reverie. He stared, appalled, at the little that was left on the plate. Picking up the cup with shaking hands, he noticed that he had drained it dry but for a few drops. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Though the hunger still gnawed at him, he pushed the nearly-empty tray to one side.  
Better get used to it._

***********************

Loki was almost dozing again, head pillowed against Thor’s shoulder, when he faintly heard the door open. Somewhere between the waking and sleeping world, he wasn’t much concerned when Thor moved his head gently back on to a pillow and got off the bed. His eyes opened briefly as he exited the room, but it wasn’t until he heard multiple sets of footsteps approaching his bed that he blinked fully awake.

‘Loki.’

He cringed back into the headboard as Thor spoke, noting the rather nervous edge of Bruce’s smile, and the still-open door.

‘The Hawk has calmed down since his outburst before. He was wondering if you would be amenable to talk to him.’

At Loki’s startled, frightened look, he clarified.

‘You can have as many of the rest of us in here as you wish. Bruce and I will be of course. Would you like Anthony and Steven as well?’

After a moment of contemplation, Loki nodded. Better for there to be more of them if the Hawk decided to attack once more. J.A.R.V.I.S summoned Tony and Steve, who arrived within a minute or two, stationing themselves by the bed.

‘No need to be nervous, Rudolph,’ Tony half-smirked. ‘Promise. Guys, you can come in.’

Clint took a deep breath, almost considering bolting before Natasha’s firm hand on his back forced him forward into the room. For the first time, he had the opportunity to look at Loki as something pitiable – something he could sympathise, even empathise with. Immediately, it struck him that Loki’s pallor was closer to that of a dead man than of a live one, his thin face and sunken eyes those of a famine victim. He felt strangely self-conscious as six pairs of eyes watched him carefully, and he found himself tucking his hands into his pockets to give them something to do that wouldn’t seem threatening.

‘Should- do you want me to start?’ he asked nervously.

One bony finger came up to point at Loki’s throat in an almost mocking fashion. Apparently a couple of bodyguards increased his confidence somewhat.

‘Oh, yeah. Look… I can’t apologise for reacting like I did before, but I will say I’m not going to do it again, alright?’

Loki nodded twitchily, chin jerking up and down in one spastic motion.

‘I just- I don’t know what to say,’ he offered weakly. ‘You were like me though, right? But that other guy made you control me?’

A longer pause this time, before a more solemn nod.

‘Right.’

It was a lame ending and he knew it. Natasha, still standing with a hand on his back, was his saving grace.

‘Loki, I know you can’t speak right now, but would you be able to maybe write down a little about what it was like being under like that? I really think Clint would appreciate the comparison.’

Loki’s hand came out, palm up, and Bruce fumbled while handing over his notebook and pen. Loki began to scribble viciously in the oppressive silence of the room, the only sounds being the grating scratch of pen against paper. Clint dropped slowly down to sit at the end of the bed; Loki paused for a moment in his frantic account, but didn’t look up. After what seemed like an age, the scratching stopped, and Loki handed the pen off to Thor, scanning through what he’d written. It seemed to pass the test, and he handed it to Clint.

‘Do you mind if I read it out?’ he asked, to which Loki mouthed ‘no’.

‘Okay then. _Before I was controlled, I loathed Thanos. He chained me in his wretched dungeons, tortured me, forced me to do all manner of things which were almost unbearable. When his mind entered mine, I felt as if a fog had descended over me, and I could not remember why I had hated him so in the first place. Perhaps fog is not the best analogy. At most times, it was more like an unstoppable flood drowning my true self somewhere in the recesses of my skull. I had no will but his.’_

Clint had to stop for a moment, breath hitching.

‘That was exactly what it was like for me. Anyway. _When I was told to go down to Earth and find the Tesseract, I obeyed. When I was told to wage war on New York, I obeyed. When I was told to stab my brother – I obeyed. I ignored the tiny screaming voice in the back of my head that emerged at these most desperate of moments. There were flashes of clarity sometimes. Fleeting seconds in which I knew what I was doing was wrong, but they were precious few and far between. I only remember truly beginning to wake when the Chitauri ships had been destroyed, and I was being taken back to Asgard. Even then, I was confused, and consumed with guilt over what I had been used to do. I took the blame on myself because I had been weak enough to submit to Thanos. It only occurred to me to think any differently when I was imprisoned alone in Asgard, without anybody to listen to me. I didn’t think anyone would believe me anyway. So I remained silent until I was brought here.’_

He stared at the now crumpled paper long after he had finished speaking. To their credit, everyone else in the room stayed quiet. When he felt like he could, Clint lifted his head and stared at Loki. The trickster had a knowing look in his eye, and when Clint reached forward to place the paper back on his lap, he reached a hand out to grip Clint’s fingers briefly. It was an extension of the olive branch, and Clint recognised it. Swallowing, he turned his palm upwards and squeezed back.

‘Okay,’ he said shakily, ‘I understand.’

Standing back, he nodded once and turned to leave.

***********************


	17. Incalescent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT. Don't like, don't read.

_The gaps between visits of the guards grew ever wider, from weeks to months, until Loki could no longer remember what a full belly felt like. Wasted away to a shadow of his former self, he could do little but remain in his corner, frozen as the tundra of Jötunheim. It was unfortunate, he thought with bitter amusement in his rare moments of coherency, that Odin wished him to remain in this form. Surely a frost giant would find the cell rather warm. In the hours and days that passed, Loki felt as if he was losing his mind. With nothing to do and nobody to talk to, he was slipping away into the whirlpool of his memories, dragging him down from the comfort of lucidity into the hell of his past. Yet though it pained him, reliving the past was preferable to musing on the potential horrors of his future._

_Tonight would be the night he lost himself to hallucinations. Though he didn’t know it, tonight would be the night the new, sympathetic head guard appealed to the king on his behalf. Tonight would be the night that Thanos finally came for his revenge._

***********************

When two black ravens appeared at the window of Loki’s room, Tony was totally cool about the situation. 

Okay, he might have freaked out a little.

A lot.

Either way, the phone clattering to the floor and his entirely manly shriek woke Loki with a start, his thin form jerking upright into a ninety-degree angle. When the narrowed eyes made contact with the harbingers of doom that stared beadily back at him, Loki’s resulting gargling gasp of terror was uniquely painful. Wincing, Tony wished that he hadn’t sent Thor off for a shower – ripe as he was – because it was typical that things would go to shit when he was unavailable. Steve bolted into the room moments later, shield in hand, and skidded to a halt in front of them both.

‘What’s the problem?’ he asked breathlessly, before clocking the ravens in his peripheral vision. ‘… Birds? You’re both panicking over birds.’

Out of the bed and slumped against the wall, Loki shook his head wildly.

_‘Odin’s,’_ he mouthed, shrinking against the white emulsion as if he wished to be invisible.

Tony frowned.

‘J.A.R.V.I.S, tell Thor to get here when he’s out of the shower. Loki business.’

‘Yes, sir.’

Unsurprisingly, not thirty seconds after Tony’s plea, during which they had simply watched the ravens watch them right back, Thor raced into the room. He was shirtless, hair dripping wet, and he went immediately to the cowering Loki.

‘Loki, what is… oh.’

Tony was staring enviously at Thor’s arms rather than the ravens, which obviously irked Steve, because he felt a possessive hand slide over his hip. He tilted his head back and raised his eyebrow, smirking. The hand tightened.

‘All is well friends,’ Thor interrupted their moment with a relieved confirmation, then to his frightened not-brother in a gentler tone, ‘All is well, Loki.’

Loki didn’t look so sure.

‘So what’s with the birds, since Rudolph can’t tell us?’ Tony drawled, deliberately drawing his eyes slowly up Thor. 

Behind him, Steve tensed.

‘They are Huginn and Muninn,’ Thor replied brightly, oblivious to Tony’s attempts to rile Steve. ‘My Father’s ravens. They report to him about Midgard, and have done for many centuries.’

Tony eyed the birds in bewilderment.

‘How do they, y’know, report? They can’t exactly speak.’

‘The Allfather has his ways,’ Thor intoned, wheeling round to catch Loki’s hands in his. ‘This is a good thing, Loki. It will allow Mother and Father to know of your wellbeing, without me leaving your side. I must admit that I forgot about that the second I saw you.’

Loki remained unsure.

_‘I shall be caged,’_ he mimed fearfully, hands clutching at Thor’s.

‘No! No, I shall never allow it!’ Thor promised, with a tenderness that made Tony uncomfortable. ‘Father is repentant, and he wishes only for your wellbeing. You needn’t fear, dearest.’

Tony and Steve exchanged an odd look, though it was soon back to baiting and jealousy.

‘Thor,’ Tony purred, eliciting a sharp squeeze from the hand on his hip, ‘how does Odin know that Loki’s even here?’

‘He does not. I suspect that, as he knew I was visiting you, he sent Huginn and Muninn in the hope that I would still be here.’

Beady black eyes surveyed them dispassionately, making Loki visibly shudder.

‘There is naught to fear,’ Thor said firmly, and pulled him into his arms.

With a nod from Thor, the ravens flew off, supposedly back to Asgard. Tony let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

‘And that’s our cue to leave,’ he muttered almost inaudibly.

Unable to resist one last tease, as they passed Thor and Loki, Tony dragged his hand down Thor’s tricep, biting his lip.

‘See you later,’ he smirked, taking as an accomplishment Steve’s hand closing tight enough to bruise around his wrist. He rather hoped he would be dragged off to a bedroom.

What he hadn’t expected, however, was Loki’s blazing glare that followed him out of the door.

***********************

When Frigga finally found Odin, he was still as a statue inside the cell that his youngest son had recently vacated. Having not been allowed to see Loki, as per the conditions of his confinement, Frigga was duly horrified.

‘You let our son rot in _here?’_ she shrieked, sending Sölvi jogging away with a dismissing flick of her hand.

There was no immediate response from Odin. As she couldn’t see his face, Frigga swept around the cell until she could, briefly stopped in her tracks by the unfamiliar sight of tears. But not for long.

‘You think that your tears can make up for this?’ she screeched, outraged. ‘Your son has shed enough tears for all our lifetimes!’

‘I know!’ Odin moaned, scrubbing his hands over his face.

When nothing else was forthcoming, Frigga went back on the offensive.

‘How dare you stand here as if mourning your dearest love? You put Loki in here – in fact, you drove him to let the Jötuns into Asgard in the first place! All his life, I told him that you had great wisdom, that everything you did was for a greater purpose, and he believed it. And in the end, what did you do? Make him believe that he was inferior and unloved, and made him so desperate to gain your affections that he would consider trying to destroy a whole race. _I believed in you!’_

Odin was pale and shaking by the end of her furious tirade. He looked more wretched than Frigga had ever seen him, yet she could not find any sympathy within her. He had destroyed her baby.

‘He was _ours,’_ she wailed, ‘and you should have treated him as such. But you didn’t because of that stupid, crackpot prophecy! The words of madmen meant more to you than your son, Odin, and that, I will never be able to forgive. Never.’

The last words were choked from a closing throat, her closed fists rising in front of her as if to strike him. But they merely hovered in mid-air, until they dropped along with her head.

‘I have made many mistakes,’ Odin began brokenly, looking older than ever. ‘And my tears are not for myself, they are… they are for Loki.’

Frigga made a sound that was at once derisive and incensed.

‘Truly!’ Odin insisted. ‘I was so sure that Ragnorök would come to pass as prophesised that I allowed it to cloud my judgement. I tried to keep Loki at arm’s length so that the betrayal would feel less hurtful when it eventually came. But instead, it is I who has become the betrayer. And I am sorry for it. So sorry.’

An exhausted Frigga looked up with venom in her eyes.

‘And you will pay for it until you die. I will make sure of that,’ she hissed. ‘If you have killed my boy, Odin, there will be no forgiveness for you in this life or the next.’  
Odin nodded solemnly, wringing his hands.

‘I will. I will spend the rest of the time I have left here trying to right the wrongs I have committed. It seems, despite all my preaching of goodness and worthiness, I have not been worthy myself.’

‘No, you have not,’ Frigga snapped, unwilling to pander to him. ‘We will find Loki, Odin, and you will fall at his feet and beg for forgiveness. You will show him that you love him through your actions, not empty words. You will return his children to him. You will announce to Asgard all that you have done wrong and what you will correct. And you will never, ever hurt my bright, mischievous, wonderful boy again. Is that clear?’

‘Yes, it is.’

Before Frigga could tear into him again, the familiar flap of wings sounded down the corridor and she froze, turning towards the door. Huginn and Muninn appeared together as always, and settled themselves on Odin’s outstretched arm.

‘What news?’ Odin asked them urgently, and though Frigga could not understand their next exchange, Odin’s ensuing grin was bright enough to tell of a good report.

‘He is alive?’ Frigga cried breathlessly. ‘He is well?’

‘He is both!’ Odin beamed, and not for the first time, Frigga could see her eldest in him. ‘But…’

He frowned, narrowing his eyes at the ravens.

‘His magic is contained. We have the solution to that, I believe. And…’

His smile dimmed, the sorrow back keenly.

‘He fears me. I do not think that it would be wise for me to travel to Midgard at this point.’

‘He is on Midgard?’ Frigga interrupted, disregarding the rest of his statement. ‘How?’

‘They do not know. They are in the tower of Anthony Stark.’ Odin murmured. ‘Thank you.’

The ravens nodded, and flew off.

‘I will go to him,’ Frigga said sharply. ‘Do not fail Loki in my absence. Make all of Asgard see that they have wronged him. That you have wronged him.’

Without giving him a chance to respond, she swept out of the room.

***********************

Tony laughed raucously as Steve dragged him up to his room and slammed him up against the wall. Twin spots of colour had appeared on Steve’s cheeks, his face furious and his breath heavy.

‘What the hell, Tony?’ he snarled, as Tony snickered. ‘What are you doing flirting with Thor like that?’

Tony trailed his hand up Steve’s arm, closing around his bicep and squeezing.

‘Not bad,’ he murmured, smile still playing around his lips. ‘Maybe I just want a big, strong man to take care of me-’

He was cut off by a rough kiss, and he moaned in delight under the bruising, biting onslaught. He was growing faint from lack of air when Steve ripped himself away to force eye contact.

_‘Mine!’_ Steve hissed against his lips, eyes with pupils almost entirely dilated boring into his own. Tony shivered with arousal, trying his best to keep up with Steve, whose lips smothered his with an intensity Tony had not expected from him. Suddenly, he was lifted a couple of inches from the floor, and he whined as a knee slotted itself between his legs and rubbed against his denim-covered cock.

_‘Steve,’_ he breathed, unsure whether it was an encouragement or a plea, which mattered little as Steve’s lips trailed down from his mouth to his jaw.

His hips jerked forwards as Steve’s mouth suctioned to his neck, searching for more of that delicious friction, but Steve withdrew it, holding him up with strong hands curling around his thighs and lifting him further from the floor. Tony whimpered plaintively as he was pinned in this new position, unable to relieve the growing pressure in his jeans. He felt, with annoyance, Steve’s mouth curve against his neck, before teeth sank roughly into it. Tony let out a soft cry of pain at the sting as Steve sucked a hickey into him, but an apologetic tongue soon lapped gently over it to sooth.

‘Sorry,’ Steve muttered quietly, and despite himself, Tony smiled. He knew, even when angry, Steve wouldn’t really hurt him. But the moment of clarity soon passed as Steve continued to nip and suck and lick at his neck, finally moving forward a little so that his crotch could ghost against Tony’s. A quick look down revealed (to Tony’s inner smug satisfaction) that Steve was just as aroused as he was, and as Steve’s lips moved back up to cover his own, he rocked his hips forward violently to gain more contact. Steve tore his lips away and gasped, raising lust-dark eyes to Tony’s face. Tony smirked and wound his fingers into Steve’s hair, pulling him down so he could reach his ear.

‘I want you,’ Tony whispered hotly, pausing to suckle at the lobe, which won him a groan. ‘Make me yours.’

Steve growled, and rolled his hips slowly against Tony once, twice, three times, before gradually speeding up to a rhythm that made Tony press his face into his neck in order to muffle a hoarse cry. He almost couldn’t believe that this had worked. He had managed to make his Steve, his wonderful, patient, gentlemanly Steve so jealous that he was practically fucking him up against the wall. The thought aroused him further, his erection throbbing painfully against his zipper. He began to babble as heat curled low in his stomach.

‘Fuck, baby, that’s so good, so good… yesssss, Steve, harder!’

‘Tony!’ Steve gasped, wide-eyed and desperate, thrusting faster and harder with him. Tony moaned wantonly as he felt his balls begin to tighten, and pressed forward roughly.

‘Steve, I’m close, so close, baby… c’mon, I’m gonna come, gonna come, gonna-’

He cut himself off with a wail, snapping his hips against Steve’s as he reached climax, feeling his cock jerk and warm liquid spurt out into his underwear. When the pleasure had died down to a pleasant hum, he vaguely noticed that Steve was still rutting against him, the tendons in his neck cording as he panted. Tony reached for him, stroking his hands gently down his chest.

‘You gonna come for me, baby?’ he asked quietly. ‘Like I just came for you? You’ve been so good, sweetie, c’mon. Come, Steve. Come for me.’

The wetness in his boxers was becoming slightly uncomfortable when Steve finally called out and slumped against him, shuddering. Tony kissed his bowed head tenderly, and as Steve let him down, he leant against him. When Steve next raised his eyes to Tony’s they were full of love and concern, but before he could say anything, Tony kissed him sweetly.

‘Next time,’ he smiled, ‘I want you inside me.’

***********************


	18. Saviour

_The tears had dried on his face, leaving meandering lines of pale skin amidst the grime. He knew somewhere in his mind that his children were hallucinations of some sort, possibly even conjured by Odin to torment him – he did not know. All that he was sure of was that he was slipping into a sort of madness that not even Thor would be there to save him from._

_It was early evening, though Loki couldn’t tell in his cage, and the changing of the guard could be heard outside the door. In earlier days, he had called out to them, but he had given up on that futile venture pretty quickly when it was clear no one would respond. He had begun to draw listlessly in the dust by his feet when he heard a commotion in the corridor. Footsteps thundered down the hallway, punctuated by sickening cracks and agonising screams. Loki scrambled to his feet, heart pounding, all too aware that he was defenceless without his magic. He drew himself back into his corner in fear, fists balled and raised to his chest in a poor semblance of a fighting stance, as if he could possibly frighten off whoever was killing the guards._

_Closer came the footsteps, and as a final shriek signalled the end of the last guard, there was a guttural, cacophonous victory cry that made Loki’s blood run cold. He had heard that noise before. He started to shake in earnest as he recalled the horror of his last imprisonment in their ‘care’. Helpless as he was, it felt like hours before the door was kicked open, and Loki was faced to face with ugly reality. Very ugly reality._

_‘Remember us, little monster?’ one Chitauri warrior hissed through rotting teeth, as his comrades gathered round Loki like bees did a hive._

_Loki had not the strength to answer; all that came out of his mouth was an odd, sort of deflated noise, which seemed to please the Chitauri no end. He whipped round in the vain hope that there would be some escape, but he was surrounded on all sides. Trembling, he raised a blazing gaze back up to the original warrior, who smirked back._

_‘You were warned of the consequences of failure,’ it cooed, before punching Loki in the face, and as he reeled, he was hoisted across a shoulder._

_‘Wait,’ he dimly heard one growl, ‘he’s still awake!’_

_‘Allow me,’ another smiled, and with another smack, he was out like a light._

***********************  
‘Oh, hell no!’

Fury’s eyes narrowed at the screen in front of him, containing some information about Stark that was even more aggravating than usual.

‘He’s harbouring a war criminal now?’ he asked a nameless agent incredulously. ‘Is he out of his damn mind?’

‘Wasn’t he always?’ the agent replied in a clipped voice, back ramrod straight.

Fury snorted.

‘Yeah, you could say that. Get a team together. I want Loki in our custody stat.’ 

The agent nodded curtly, and span on his heel. Fury kept his furious gaze on the screen.

‘We’re coming, Stark.’

***********************

As the kingdom was still mostly in an advanced state of shock, Frigga went unhindered as she travelled down to the Bifrost alone. She carried no belongings with her, apart from a small dagger tucked into her belt. Heimdall stood, impassive as always, at the entrance of the Bifrost.

‘My Queen,’ he stated tonelessly as she approached, bowing his head in respect.

Frigga was not about to waste time with pleasantries.

‘Heimdall, I need passage to Midgard immediately. There is no time to spare.’

She fidgeted – rather out of character for her – as Heimdall slowly approached and slid his sword into place to open the Bifrost.

‘My Queen, you must make haste to the place of your sons. There is danger afoot.’

Frigga nodded, and was soon spiralling down to Earth.

***********************

Bruce put two and two together pretty quickly when Tony and Steve walked into the kitchen the next day, the former with a smirk, and the latter with a blush. As Tony swaggered forward, mouth opening, he went to meet him, slamming his hand over his mouth.

‘I don’t want to know,’ he said lowly, eyes conveying something of a warning.

He waited until Tony nodded, then let him go, turning to Steve.

‘Good morning,’ he smiled, ignoring Tony’s grumbling.

‘Morning,’ Steve mumbled, grabbing a box of Cheerios, and pouring a bowl out for him and Tony.

‘Stevie, you know I don’t like-’

‘You need to eat something wholesome,’ Steve answered softly. ‘I worry about you.’

Tony looked at him for a long time, before slumping in his chair and picking up his spoon.

‘Fine. But I’m only doing this for you.’

Feeling like a third wheel, Bruce piped up.

‘So, I’m going to try and get Loki to eat properly this morning.’

‘Yeah?’ Tony asked, in between grimacing at his cereal.

‘That’s great, Bruce,’ Steve smiled. ‘What are you going to try him on?’

‘I’m thinking some kind of smoothie at first, because I don’t know how sore his throat will be. But I’m hoping I can move him on to soft foods pretty soon.’

He finished up his coffee, and with a quick goodbye, left for Loki’s room with a smoothie in hand. He was, as usual, asleep next to Thor, who was staring bemusedly at one of Tony’s tablets. Apparently absorbed in trying to play a game, he didn’t hear Bruce come in, and jabbed roughly at the pad until it splintered under his fingers.

‘Whoops!’ Bruce laughed nervously, and Thor’s head whipped up, Loki stirring next to him.

‘Dr Banner?’ he asked, eyes firmly on Loki. ‘Is anything the matter?’

‘No, I just wanted to see if he can digest this. I’ll take the tube out. Loki?’

By now, Loki was fully awake, one hand resting possessively on Thor’s chest. He tipped his head up in question. Bruce swallowed, eyeing the hand. He held the smoothie up in answer.

‘Just want to see if you can digest this. You’ve been wanting the food tube taken out for a while, haven’t you?’

Loki nodded emphatically, and held out his arm. Just as he had changed his IV before, Bruce removed the tube. Loki flexed his arm, and Bruce was rewarded with a brilliant smile.

‘I believe he would be saying thank you right now if he could,’ Thor rumbled, to which Loki nodded, grinning ever wider. It was such an odd expression on his face that Bruce couldn’t help staring. He handed over the smoothie to Loki, who shifted slowly away from Thor, one shaking hand pulling the straw to his open mouth. It was maddeningly slow, but when Loki managed his first swallow without any sign of nausea, Bruce grinned.

‘Fantastic! Hopefully soon we can get you onto solids. Maybe soup next,’ he rambled.

Loki didn’t seem to be listening, absorbed in the smoothie as he was, but at least Thor nodded in approval. He smiled at Bruce, then turned to Loki, tipping his chin up with a finger.

‘I won’t be a moment,’ he said softly, before slipping out of the room.

There was a momentary awkward silence, while Loki drank, staring at the door Thor had disappeared through. But then Tony and Steve appeared in the doorway, and Loki’s face morphed into something much closer to Bruce’s recollection of him.

‘Woah, Lokes, if looks could kill!’

Tony glided across the room to whisper in his ear. Unfortunately, it was a stage whisper, so Bruce could hear every word.

‘I was just trying to make Stevie jealous so he’d do me – I wasn’t trying to intrude in whatever weird-ass ‘relationship’ you two have now.’

Loki’s nostrils flared at the last remark, but his expression softened slightly, and Tony backed off. He hugged a tomato-red Steve around the waist, before skipping off to tinker with the instruments. Bruce shook his head, deciding to pretend he hadn’t heard anything that would leave him in need of brain bleach. Loki went back to his smoothie as if nothing had happened, handing the empty glass to Bruce when he was finished.

‘Well done!’ Bruce exclaimed, trying not to sound too patronising. ‘I’ll get you some soup later, if you’d like?’

Loki nodded, though he looked a little queasy.

‘Small amounts at a time, I think. Your stomach needs to get used to digesting real food again. I-’

‘Sir.’ He was interrupted by J.A.R.V.I.S. ‘SHIELD agents are attempting to forcefully enter the building.’

There was a distant smash.

‘Correction. They _have_ forcefully entered the building.’

Tony went pale, bolting for the door. 

‘I’ll get my suit.’

Steve ran after him, calling back to them.

‘I’ll send Thor up, guys. Don’t worry.’

Then they were alone again, and Loki was shaking like a leaf in a huddle of bedclothes, only his head down to his eyes visible. Thor came barrelling into the room with Mjölnir in hand, immediately clocked by Loki who let out a sort of desperate croak.

‘All will be well, Loki,’ Thor promised warmly, a smile on his face if not in his eyes.

Loki looked about as convinced as Bruce supposed he did himself. But there was little time for promises, as the unmistakable sounds of a large group of people smashing their way upstairs cam echoing through the corridors. Bruce found himself preparing to let out his anger; much as he hated it, he would not let SHIELD take Loki if he could prevent it. Thor readied his hammer as Tony and Steve came bursting back into the room, standing around the bed.

‘They can smash up my fucking house, but they’re not taking you!’ Tony said fiercely, rounding to face the door. 

Moments later, Fury entered the room, surrounded by armed agents. He tried to peer around Tony to the bed, but Tony wouldn’t let him.

‘What the hell, Nick? You know I’m gonna make you pay for all the shit you broke.’

‘Don’t play games with me, Stark. You know who I’ve come for.’

Thor all but snarled, leaning menacingly towards Fury.

‘You will not have my brother!’

Fury stood back and raised his hands in disbelief.

‘He’s a maniac who murdered many of our people. Do you just let murderers go on Asgard? ‘Cause that’s not what we do here!’

Agents shuffled around as they entered the room to provide back-up, and before Thor could reply, Natasha and Clint came scuttling into the room.

‘Guys?’ Tony questioned betrayed. ‘Did you tell him?’

Both shook their heads wildly, Natasha staring imploringly at each in turn.

‘No they did not!’ Fury bit out, glaring. ‘Which is something we’re gonna be discussing in length later.’

Though each looked appropriately shamefaced, with an exchanged look, they turned on their boss and stood next to the others. Fury’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out  
of his head.

‘Agents!’ he spluttered.

‘We will not allow you to hurt our friends,’ Natasha said coolly. ‘You need us, not the other way around.’

She raised her gun at the agents who had raised theirs, and in turn, Clint raised his bow. Apoplectic with rage, Fury stepped back, waving a shaking hand as in instruction. The safeties were snapped off the agents’ guns.

‘Last chance!’ Fury shouted, raising his hand.

The others readied themselves, but the fight didn’t come, as everyone was distracted by the sudden shaft of blue light that came suddenly streaming down. A hole opened up in the ceiling (and Tony imagined in the penthouse above too, silently lamenting his rebuilding costs), and as all weapons pointed towards the strange light, it suddenly disappeared, leaving a grandly dressed woman in its place.

‘I am Frigga of Asgard,’ she said proudly. ‘And you will not harm my children!’

***********************


	19. Beleaguerment

_There was silence in the room – bar Loki’s quiet sniffling and the rasping turn of pages – magnified by the distant laughing and shrieking of Thor and his friends. He had been refused entry to their special club yet again, and humiliated to boot. Who would have known that Volstagg’s older brother was lurking round the corner as Loki spat his first (and last) painful insult? Either way, the maids would be angry at the blood dripping steadily on to the bed and Father would be angry that Loki couldn’t be like the other children and Thor would be angry because he’d been shown up by his little brother again, and so Loki was crying. He was crying in the ugly way young children often do, with the tears sliding uncomfortably down his neck and past his collar, and the snot bubbling up until he felt it drip down his philtrum, and disgustedly wiped it away with his finely decorated sleeve. Prince or not, he was still only a boy._

_He wasn’t reading the magic book with his usual enthusiasm, his eyes tripping blurrily from one sentence to the next without taking in their meanings, so he had to keep starting again. But he had to keep reading, because if he didn’t, he would only dwell on the radiating pain of a well-aimed punch to the stomach and the jeering cries of his peers, and the grim face of his brother, whose silence only made his heart clench with a sadness he did not yet understand._

_To turn oneself into an animal, one must-_

_**Unworthy.** _

_To turn oneself into an animal-_

_**Trickster.** _

_To turn oneself-_

_**Runt.** _

_With a wounded howl, Loki lobbed the book against the wall, feeling a fleeting sense of satisfaction at the loud thud it made, quickly replaced by a dull sense of horror as he saw the binding come away from the ancient text his mother had asked him to look after. He scrambled from the bed and on to the floor next to it, trying to will the pages back into place and sobbing when he couldn’t. He only cried harder when he thought of the punishment he would receive, and it’s disparity from one that Thor would get for the same crime. There was a sharp rap on the door, interrupting his snivelling. He stopped breathing for a moment, trying to ascertain the owner of such a knock, because it certainly wasn’t his heavy handed brother, and his father wouldn’t knock at all. Trying his luck and turning his face away from the door, hiding the book with his body, he called out with not a tremble in his voice._

_‘Come in!’_

_‘Loki?’_

_He turned, but the face was not one he expected. His mother did not often venture to his room in the middle of the day, busy as she was. Her eyes crinkled in concern as they met his bloody nose and bruising eye, immediately reaching out to gently clasp his cheeks in both hands._

_‘My love, who has done this to you?’ she asked, her voice wobbling dangerously between anger and concern._

_‘It is of no consequence,’ he answered dully._

_The brief joy of seeing Haraldr told off would no doubt be eclipsed by painful retribution._

_‘Loki,’ she said firmly, ‘I will not take no for an answer.’_

_He stared at her for a moment with his strange green eyes belonging to neither parent, but soon gave in. Oh well. Perhaps Haraldr would avoid his sore stomach this time._

_‘It was Volstagg’s brother,’ he whispered, swallowing thickly as he saw her jaw set._

_Her thumb swiped gently below his eyes, wiping away the shameful evidence of his weakness._

_‘He will be punished for this. He cannot assault a prince in this manner.’_

_‘I am not a prince!’ Loki found himself blurting. ‘A prince should be loved by his kingdom, and I am loathed by it. I am different, mother! I am different and I hate it!’_

_The last words were almost a scream, and he turned away from her to hide the fresh tears. Frigga did not say anything for the moment, and Loki cried all the harder, choking on bitter tears. He curled in on himself as the floorboards behind him creaked with her approach. She wrapped warm arms around him and turned him with a strength that surprised Loki. She was met with no more resistance as she led him towards his bed, and sat on the edge, pulling him into her lap._

_‘I’m fifty seven, not a baby!’ he sobbed, but fell limp against her anyway, drawing comfort from her familiar smell and gentle rocking._

_‘You’ll always be my baby, Loki,’ she replied quietly._

_She held him until the tears stopped, and he lay numb against her chest._

_‘You are a fine prince, my boy,’ she began, wiping his face tenderly. ‘You are intelligent and kind and skilful, and I would be proud to call you my king. And so would Thor, and so  
would many, many others in this kingdom.’_

_Loki frowned._

_‘Which others? Everyone hates me.’_

_‘No, my sweet, they do not. I’m afraid that those surrounding you just happen to be awful snobs.’_

_Loki emitted a loud squeak of laughter, then clapped a hand over his mouth. Frigga smiled gently._

_‘’tis true, Loki. Even the wisest can be frightfully foolish. You are met not with hatred, my love, but fear. Narrow-mindedness breeds contempt, and I am sure that if I weren’t the Queen, I would be met with a lot more of it.’_

_Loki looked at her incredulously._

_‘But you are loved by all!’ he insisted._

_‘I am not. It is only my status that saves me. We are sorcerers in a world of fighters, thinkers in a world full of those who prefer action. We are special, Loki, and don’t let anyone tell you any different.’_

_She turned to him with a glorious smile, and he gazed back at her with wonderment._

_‘Now-’_

_But Loki never got to hear her next words, because she was interrupted by a hesitant knock on the door. He tried to scramble from her lap, but she held on tight to him. Cheeks burning, he was forced to lounge in place as she called out._

_‘Come in, Thor.’_

_To his credit, Thor did not tease him as he entered, head hanging like that of a mournful dog. He cringed as he saw his mother – Loki suspected what kind of expression she would be wearing, and he felt just a little sorry for Thor. But not much._

_‘So. Your little brother tried to join in with your games today. And when Volstagg was nasty to him (as I suspect was the case), you allowed it. You then allowed his brother to assault Loki. You did nothing. You said nothing. You did not follow him to see if he was alright; you did not come to tell myself or your father. You carried on playing with the group as if nothing had happened. This was not how I have brought up my son.’_

_Her voice was a deadly whisper that chilled Loki to the bone._

_‘I am sorry, mother!’ Thor cried, trembling._

_As his head whipped up, Loki saw the tell-tale scrapes of a fight left on his face. It seemed Frigga did too, as she sat up straight._

_‘When Loki ran off, Haraldr did too, so I ran after him to teach him a lesson!’_

_Thor did not lie. Even at this young age, Loki could twist tales to his liking, and successfully evade even his mother’s suspicions if he tried hard enough. But Thor blustered and blushed so much that it was evident to all he wasn’t telling the truth, so he didn’t try. A kind of warmth diffused Loki as he heard what his brother had done for him._

_‘You obtained those marks from Haraldr?’ Frigga asked icily. ‘He has hurt both of my children today?’_

_Thor nodded quickly, averting his gaze. Loki felt Frigga bristle. She beckoned Thor over to her, and lifted him on to the bed with a grunt of exertion. She kissed Loki’s and Thor’s heads in turn, before shifting the slighter Loki off her lap next to him._

_‘I will not allow this,’ she said angrily. ‘Haraldr and Volstagg will have me to answer to! Look after your brother.’_

_The last was directed towards Thor as she swept from the room with a blown kiss. Thor shifted over to him as she went, and pulled him into a hug. Unused to such affection, Loki faltered before reciprocating._

_‘I’m sorry, Loki,’ Thor whispered. ‘I won’t let them tease you without retribution again.’_

_Empty words, though Loki was sure Thor believed them at the moment. He pulled back slowly, smiling._

_‘Make sure that you don’t brother.’_

***********************

All but Thor and Loki stared in bewilderment at the appearance of the queen, whose presence brought the first genuine smile to Loki’s face that Thor had seen in a long while. The agents still had their guns raised, and after a long moment of silence in which Frigga and Fury stared each other down, one agent aimed at the floor and let out a warning shot. Frigga’s lovely face twisted in rage, and a flash of green light disarmed them all. The agents stared helplessly at the spaces where their weapons had once been, and Frigga smiled tightly at them.

‘I do not bluff, Mr. Fury,’ she warned. ‘If you attempt to harm either of my innocent children, the armies of Asgard will fall upon you and turn this realm into dust. Is that clear?’ Fury was clearly battling with his temper, so used to getting his own way, but he backed down.

‘Crystal,’ he sneered, waving his minions away.

‘I should like you all to leave for the moment,’ she requested, as she turned to the others. ‘I would like a little time alone with my sons, then I will come and call you in here, so we can all talk to Mr. Fury together. I would ask that you try to explain what has happened first.’

‘Yes, ma’am,’ Steve smiled, bowing his head, before dragging a wide-eyed Tony from the room. Bruce followed suite, ducking out quietly, while Clint and Natasha waited for the scowling Fury to leave before them. Soon the room was empty but for the three Asgardians, and Frigga fell upon her children.

‘Thor, my sweet, you must forgive me for ignoring you for the moment,’ she smiled, kissing his cheek.

‘Of course, mother,’ Thor murmured, perfectly happy to see his brother interact with someone who made him happy for once.

Loki was trembling as Frigga turned to him, though Thor was sure it wasn’t from fear. He let out a broken gasp, clearly trying to speak, but unable to. He raised his manacled hands in invitation as Frigga flew forward and enveloped him in her grasp.

‘Oh, my precious boy,’ she wept, kissing him firmly on the forehead a number of times. ‘How I have missed you. I am so glad you are here with people to look after you. Yet you do not speak, dear heart?’

She sat back with a questioning look, skimming a hand worriedly down his gaunt face.

‘He cannot,’ Thor interrupted quietly. ‘He no longer has the equipment to do so.’

Frigga paled in horror.

‘But your magic, my sweet. Can you not-‘

Again, the manacles were raised in explanation, and Frigga eyed them determinedly.

‘Those foul creatures. Do not fret, darling, Mother will free you from these restraints.’

In any other situation, Thor would have found the saccharine way Frigga was speaking intolerable, but now, he rather thought Loki needed it. He certainly didn’t seem to be complaining, watching Frigga devotedly as she bent over the handcuffs, muttering under her breath. Her magic swirled around the metal in emerald wisps, and Thor stared in wonder as the manacles seemed to dissolve, leaving behind angry red welts that Loki immediately went to rub. Thor gently restrained his questing fingers, afraid that he might hurt himself further.

‘Do you feel your magic returning, Loki?’ Frigga asked.

Loki narrowed his eyes in thought for a moment, seemingly concentrating hard. After a moment, he nodded hesitantly, though he still looked disconcerted.

‘It will likely take a while,’ Frigga sighed. ‘I think it would be better for your own magic to heal your body at the moment, rather than mine.’

Loki looked disappointed, but he nodded quickly.

‘I am sorry, sweetheart,’ she continued, sitting on the bed next to him, and guiding his head gently to rest on her shoulder.

Thor had missed the first trickle of tears that his mother had evidently caught, but it was soon all too obvious as Loki sobbed against her. Frigga shushed him gently, looking to Thor with a mixture of agony and anger that Thor recognised in himself. He pulled a chair up to Loki’s other side and took his hand.

‘Mother is here, Loki.’

‘And so am I,’ Thor interjected throatily. ‘You need never be afraid again, my love.’

Frigga looked at him, astonished. Such a term was usually reserved for lovers on Asgard. Thor stared back at her with an unfathomable expression, and she reached out a hand to stroke his cheek.

‘And you, my wonderful son. You have made me proud looking after my little one. You have been there for him when he sorely needed the support, and for that, I can never thank you enough.’

Thor beamed, lifting Loki’s hand to clasp in both his own.

‘You need never thank me, mother. I will do all I can to make him happy.’

He watched Loki adoringly as he sobbed on her shoulder, which bolstered her suspicions. Never had she seen such devotion between them as now. In time, Loki pulled away, eyes red-rimmed and glassy, and flopped exhaustedly back on to his pillow. The hand that Thor wasn’t clutching - and Frigga noticed sharply that her oft-irritated Loki hadn’t yet pulled away – went to massage his pale throat. He opened his mouth and looked at Frigga for confirmation.

‘You may try, darling, but I suspect you are not yet healed enough.’

Sure enough, nothing came out, though Thor could see his throat and tongue working, and Loki sank back into the bed sullenly. Frigga let out a tinkling laugh.

‘You have the same expression you wore as a child when your magic would not work to your liking,’ she grinned.

The scowl deepened, but Frigga smoothed it away with her hand.

‘Patience, child. I have never thought of you as one to expect results straight away. Oh-’

The welts on Loki’s wrists had begun to bleed, and though he stared hard at them, as if sheer force of will could heal him, nothing happened.

‘No matter, Loki. Dr. Banner will fix them,’ Thor soothed, his own hand lifting Loki’s to examine his wrist in the light. Loki’s resulting stare was mocking; Thor could almost hear him say _‘as if you could ascertain the extent of my injuries with a look, you oaf!’._ He beamed back at him, which got him a huff.

Before Frigga could comment, there was a tentative knock on the door, and Steve popped his head in to the room.

‘Ma’am, do you think perhaps we could come in now? Only Fury’s getting a little antsy, and that’s never a good thing.’

Coupled with a winning smile, it was enough to make Frigga acquiesce to this rather impertinent request. 

‘Very well. You may all come in, as long as you do not upset my son.’

‘Yes, ma’am,’ Steve replied warmly, and let in the others from where they were standing in the corridor. They all placed themselves around the bed, except Fury, who skulked alone in the corner with an indecipherable look on his face. Loki watched him warily.

‘Have you explained?’ Frigga demanded, her own eyes fixed on the shadows.

‘We have,’ Tony replied. ‘Only Fury’s a cynical one. Trust me, I’d know.’

Frigga’s eyes narrowed.

‘Come here,’ she told him, beckoning him over to the bed. She couldn’t help but notice Thor crowding Loki in response. ‘What is the problem, Director?’

Fury shuffled over reluctantly.

‘These lot have told me that New York wasn’t Loki’s fault. All I’m asking is, have you any evidence for that?’

Frigga opened her mouth to reply, but to her surprise, Bruce beat her to it.

‘What do you want?’ he asked angrily. ‘The photographs of the extensive injuries resulting from torture? The medical report of the various internal problems he now has because of violent rape? Witness evidence from any of us about the way he passed out on seeing Tony and ripped his goddamn IV out to get away when Clint turned up? Or maybe you want one of the Chituari prisoners that can testify for his internment on their ship? You can have any of those things, Director, but you don’t have to stand there and threaten Loki when he’s already suffered so much.’

Fury was unperturbed, obviously used to people railing at him. Tony was impressed though, and gave him a discreet fist bump.

‘Yes, I would like all of those things,’ he snapped. ‘Thousands of people died on that day, and it’s going to be pretty hard to ignore the evidence of my eyes without any clear-cut reason otherwise. Anyway, if you’re so desperate to prove his innocence, why didn’t you contact me when he first fell to Earth?’

Tony’s mouth dropped open his disbelief. He gestured wildly at the damage inside the room and in the corridor.

‘Are you fucking kidding me? You’d have sent your stormtroopers in and dragged him away to one of your SHIELD cells, and we’d never have seen him again.’

Fury glowered.

‘Fine,’ he bit out. ‘I’m gonna take my agents to do some good in the world now, but I want that evidence sent to me – as much as possible. I won’t rule out the probability of a trick from the God Of. War with Asgard or not, this won’t be the last you’ll see of me.’

And without another word, off he stalked, and called for his lackeys. Among the thundering of boots, Tony heard a gunshot and a loud smash.

‘Get away from my Ming collection, you heavy-handed imbeciles!’ he yelled, only for there to be a second smash moments later.  
Steve smirked as Tony huffed, but the moment of comic relief was soon over.

‘You have been forced again?’ Frigga asked Loki softly, drained of all colour.

‘Again?’ Tony choked.

‘Svaðilfari.’ Bruce murmured, and Frigga gave him a surprised glance. ‘I’ve read my mythology book.’

Loki nodded distantly, teary, unfocused eyes resting on nothing in particular. Thor’s hand clasped his own, taking care to be gentle even though he knew Loki was much stronger than he appeared. The touch, however, as sometimes happens, was more of a trigger than a comfort, and as Loki twisted his head round in a vain attempt to hide, Frigga quietly ushered the others out. When the door clicked shut, she strode back to the bed to embrace him, and for the first time in a thousand years, Loki, son of Frigga wept in his mother’s arms.

***********************


	20. Equanimity

_The high-pitched giggles coming from the vacant daughter of an inept lord grated on Loki’s last nerve. Irritated beyond belief, he raised his head from his arithmetic to glare at the vapid wench perched precariously on his preening brother’s lap. Thor caught his eye as his hand travelled somewhere dangerously close to obscene, and winked. Scowling, Loki returned to his sums. Thor was not fond of arithmetic. Nor indeed, of languages, history, politics, astronomy, medicine, or any other academic pursuit. All he cared about was fighting, women and mead. He had been allowed to finish his studies before he reached manhood, so hopeless was he at concentrating, and took up combat training in earnest. Day and night, Loki heard the unmistakable grunts of unsubtle offences, and the clashing of swords rang in his ears as if it were part of his biology._

_Thor had a good reason to be celebrating, however: he had just won his first battle as leader of the army in Vanaheim. In his darkest moments, Loki rather hoped a warrior had lopped his head off. At least then he wouldn’t have to hear the constant boasting. Oh fantastic, Thor and his ‘lady’ were now almost copulating in public. The thought was enough to make Loki feel sick. Gathering his books to move to the library, he froze as his father walked through the door. He moved past Loki as if he were made of air, and Thor tore his lips away from the girl’s just in time to send him a winning smile._

_‘Proud, Father?’ he grinned arrogantly, and the wench giggled beside him._

_Odin clapped his shoulder._

_‘Of course, my son. To Thor!’ He held up his cup of mead. ‘My **worthy** son.’_

_Loki found it in himself to raise the cup to his lips, but his heart was not in it. Miserable again, and not feeling much like doing arithmetic, he turned to leave again, only to be intercepted by a pretty, young woman. She had golden hair and bright blue eyes, and Loki thought he had never seen anything so lovely._

_‘Prince Loki,’ she smiled warmly, curtsying. ‘May I have the honour of accompanying you?’_

_Unused to such attentions, especially from females, Loki’s mouth went dry._

_‘Of course you may,’ he said hoarsely, allowing her to take his suddenly clammy hand in her own and lead him from the room._

_He did not notice the sudden smirk of the lord’s daughter, and the uncertain gaze of Thor that followed him out._

_‘Might I have your name?’ he inquired politely, as they reached the gardens._

_It was a beautiful night, and the young lady looked even more stunning than she had in the palace, her hair shining and clothing shimmering in the moonlight. Her smile revealed perfect, white teeth._

_‘My name is Leikný, my prince,’ she murmured, looking at him from under long eyelashes._

_‘What a beautiful name to match a beautiful woman,’ Loki replied smoothly. ‘And to you, lady, I am only Loki. My titles are irrelevant.’_

_‘Oh! Are you sure, my lord?’ she whispered, curling her hands around his._

_‘Yes, Leikný, I am sure.’_

_Her brilliant grin was visible only for a few moments before she leant up and kissed him on the mouth softly. Loki, entirely unsure of what to do, mimicked her as best he could, winding his arms awkwardly around her waist as she looped hers around his neck, pulling him down further. When she finally let him go, he was as red as Volstagg after 10 flagons of mead. She smirked at him, running a hand down his arm._

_‘There’s much I can teach you… Loki,’ she purred. ‘Come with me.’_

_Loki would have followed her into the depths of Niflheim if she had asked him to, and so, dazed, he allowed her to lead him from the gardens. They travelled through familiar corridors, until they were standing outside Loki's room. He almost stopped breathing._

_‘My lady Leikný,’ he began hesitantly. ‘We have only met this night. Perhaps-’_

_‘Perhaps what?’ she snapped, beautiful features suddenly twisting into an ugly expression. ‘You do not want me?’_

_Taken aback, Loki shook his head._

_‘No, lady, that was not my meaning. You are more beautiful than the stars above us.’_

_The expression cleared, and Loki was once again met with a sweet smile._

_‘Good,’ she chirped. ‘Then you have no more complaints?’_

_Loki was understandably still anxious; his hands twisted together as he considered his own inexperience, but her loveliness was having an intoxicating effect on him._

_‘No,’ he sighed, ‘I do not.’_

_With a lascivious smirk, she took his hand once more and led him in to his own room, taking no time to look at anything inside, apart from the luxurious bed, which was one of Loki’s few indulgences._

_‘Lovely,’ she whispered, backing him up until his knees hit the wood at the end and he collapsed on to it heavily._

_His mouth went dry as he watched her briefly toy with the fastenings of her dress, but her hands fell away, teasingly stroking down his chest. Then, she stood back._

_‘Undress,’ she demanded, mouth twisted into an odd smile._

_He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to do that, but his shaking hands went to his shirt buttons nonetheless. He quailed under her blazing stare as the shirt slipped from his hunched shoulders, and went for his trousers. He hesitated for a moment, only to be met with a raised eyebrow, so he quickly pulled them off and sat naked before her. She stared openly at his half-hard cock, and Loki had to suppress the urge to cover himself._

_‘It’s not blue,’ she said suddenly, sounding disappointed._

_Loki was puzzled for a moment, then the familiar weight of dread settled in his stomach as she called out._

_‘It’s not blue!’_

_The door suddenly burst open, and a gaggle of girls burst into the room, laughing and whispering as they stared at his nude form._

_‘Look at how scrawny-’_

_‘Ugh, so pale and-’_

_‘Nothing like Thor, mmm-’_

_Through the hurt and humiliation, a wave of white-hot fury rose in Loki, and he let out a pulse of magic that sent them all into the corridor, shrieking. He trembled as he heard them all scramble to their feet, and Leikný shouted._

_‘You’re still a filthy Jötunn!’_

_Naked and forlorn, Loki thought that she was right._

***********************

Winding up his stethoscope, Bruce was pleased. Loki was healing well, both internally and externally, and he was even gaining weight. His speech was still almost non-existent, but Bruce had not been surprised to hear him croak out a word or two after Frigga had explained that she had restored his magic. His first word – of course – had been ‘Thor’. Their mother had become another fixture in the tower over the last week, impressing them all with her advanced magic and intelligent arguments. Then again, she was a few thousand years older than them all. Even Fury had stayed away, Bruce having sent him enough medical information to appease for the moment, and the constant threat of a realm of gods beginning a war obviously doing its job.

‘Loki, please.’

Thor sounded weary as he held up a spoon to Loki’s mouth, who sat there with tight lips and arms folded. He was fully capable of feeding himself now, but he obviously didn’t want to.

‘Eat your porridge. I know you are not fond of it, but it will make you strong.’

Loki raised an eyebrow.

‘Perhaps not as strong as I, but maybe half as strong.’

Bruce bit his lip to stop the laughter from escaping as the eyebrow rose higher, Spock-like. Loki was too clever to respond to mild insults. Thor leant forward, and suddenly uncomfortable, Bruce felt that he shouldn’t be in the room. They had evidently forgotten he was there, quiet in the corner with his notes, but he was too far from the door to leave without causing a ruckus. Cursing his own nosiness, he eyed them surreptitiously. 

‘Perhaps, Loki,’ Thor smirked. ‘You would do it for a kiss?’

Bruce expected a disgusted smack, or maybe just a laugh, but Loki sat back in the pillows.

_‘Perhaps,’_ he whispered hoarsely.

Taken aback, Bruce watched as Thor raised the spoon to Loki’s lips, never taking his eyes from the younger as Loki took in the mouthful and swallowed, before tapping his cheek insistently. Thor rolled his eyes and leant in further, but Bruce jumped as Loki turned his head at the last moment and intercepted Thor’s lips with his own in a chaste peck. He was even more shocked when Thor pulled away smiling.

‘Ah, so that is how we are playing it,’ he said softly, giving him another spoonful.

When he had swallowed the porridge again, Loki tapped his lips, and Thor kissed him without protest. Bruce, more than just slightly uncomfortable, wanted the ground to swallow him up. But he couldn’t stop watching. He even missed as Tony sidled up to the door, mouth open, but he did hear the stifled gasp. His eyes flicked over to the doorway, then back to the oblivious couple, who seemed to be rather enjoying their ‘game’.

‘Okay,’ Tony projected, voice wavering slightly. ‘I was just wondering if Reindeer Games wanted a bath after he finishes his porridge.’

_‘I may need some help,’_ Loki whispered.

_Yeah, I bet you will,_ Bruce thought wryly.

‘I will, of course, do anything to help you, Loki,’ Thor replied, blissfully ignorant – or at least, Bruce hoped.

‘Right,’ Tony said loudly. ‘It’s all set up for you whenever you want, guys. I’ll just be going.’

With a quick glance at Bruce, he fled.

Loki finished his porridge quite quickly (for which Bruce thanked all the gods), and gestured to get out of the bed. Thor lowered the bed bars with heavy-handed ease and supported Loki as he stood on his shaky, coltish legs. They moved slowly towards the door, and as they passed through the threshold, Loki turned his head lightning-fast to give Bruce a wink. For the second time that day, Bruce wished for a quick death. He gathered his notes as their footsteps echoed down the corridor, ready to exit the room before there were any more antics (especially if that involved nakedness), but before he could, Frigga strode into the room, looking surprised at the lack of bed occupants.

‘They’ve gone for a bath,’ Bruce explained nervously, glasses slipping down his nose as he was examined by a demigoddess. 

‘Ah,’ she replied, not seemingly at all concerned, and went to sit on the chair Thor had recently vacated.

‘Er, your maj-, high… _ness?_ What should I call you?’

‘Frigga will do just fine, dear.’

Bruce blushed to the tips of his ears.

‘Alright, Frigga it is. I just wanted to discuss something a little strange with you.’

Frigga looked at him sharply.

‘Is my son unwell again, doctor?’ she demanded.

‘No, no, and Bruce is just fine. It’s just that I’ve noticed that maybe Thor and Loki are pretty close, even…’

He half-expected her to fill in the gap, but she only watched him with a raised eyebrow reminiscent of her son’s.

‘… they kind of seem like they’re almost in a relationship?’

Frigga did not seem at all shocked, disgusted or angry. She simply gazed at him for a moment, before speaking quietly.

‘So you have noticed as well then.’

She lapsed into silence once more, looking supremely unconcerned but Bruce fidgeted.

‘Do you have something to say, Bruce?’

‘Well,’ Bruce began timidly, ‘don’t you think it’s kinda weird? I mean, they’re _brothers.’_

‘They were raised as such, perhaps,’ Frigga countered. ‘But they are not by blood. Do not get me wrong: they are both my sons. But I could not care less whether their relationship was platonic or sexual. Stranger things have happened on Asgard, believe me.’

Bruce nodded in agreement, having read his mythology book cover to cover. It still didn’t sit quite right with him, but he supposed it was something he’d have to get used to. After all, they did come from a land where magic was real, and Loki’s first child was born in the guise of an eight-legged horse.

***********************

Thor was not as ignorant as he seemed to Bruce. He knew the game Loki was playing, but frankly, he didn’t mind. He had known their relationship was changing for a while now, and without the prejudices instilled in those brought up on Midgard, he found himself welcoming it. There was a steaming bath already run when they entered the bathroom Loki had been using since he could walk. Fresh, white towels were draped over a heated rack beside it, and various bottles of shampoo and shower gels were lined up neatly on the side. Loki sat down heavily on the edge of it, resting his legs, before unbuttoning his shirt. As he unclothed himself, he was thrown momentarily back to a time when he’d done the same, and been mocked for it. But Thor would never do such a thing. Even now, he eyed Loki with simple devotion, as he almost always had. He sat naked and unashamed before him, and without a word, Thor lifted him gently and placed him in the heated water. Loki sighed as the warmth permeated him, and toyed with Thor’s shirt, gesturing for him to take it off. Thor frowned in confusion, but complied, until Loki tugged at his trousers.

‘Why do you wish me to unclothe myself?’ he asked.

Loki rolled his eyes and stabbed his finger first at Thor, then at the large bath, and raised his eyebrows.

‘Ah. Of course, brother.’

The word slipped out before he had even realised, and Loki reeled back as if he’d been slapped.

_‘Please… not ‘brother’ now.’_

They exchanged a long, charged look, before Thor nodded, running his hand up Loki’s thin arm.

‘No, not now. Something different perhaps.’

Loki nodded impatiently, tugging at the fabric again. Thor quickly undressed completely and slid into the other end, relishing the feel of warm water that he so often missed. Loki was facing him at first, but then turned slowly, handing him a bottle.

‘Expecting me to do all the hard work as usual?’ Thor mocked, amused.

Loki’s answer was a splash of water to his face, before he settled and allowed Thor to work the shampoo through his hair. It had been a long time since they had bathed together, but Thor remembered well the times when Mother had told them both stories of the Dark Elves as they splashed about until the water was tepid, and Loki demanded that somebody clean him. Some things hadn’t changed. He finished washing Loki’s hair and pushed him gently away to get on with his own, feeling the weight of that steady, piercing gaze on him even when he wasn’t looking back. 

‘Something you wanted, Loki?’ he smiled, as the last of the suds were cleaned out.

Loki didn’t answer verbally; whether this was because of his sore throat or recalcitrance was unclear, but instead he leant forward and took Thor’s face into his hands. Thor’s breath caught, as slowly, deliberately, he closed the gap between their lips. It was unlike what they had shared before in good humour. Somehow, as Loki’s hand threaded into his dripping hair, and his tongue lapped insistently at Thor’s lips, this was much, much more.

‘So this is what we are now?’ Thor asked breathlessly as he pulled away, watching a smile curve on Loki’s face, and couldn’t help covering it with his own once more.

‘I have never been able to deny you anything, you know that.’

There was a softness in Loki’s eyes that Thor hadn’t seen since childhood, before the taunts of children and the hardships of his adulthood had hardened him. He rose to his feet, unashamed of his nakedness, and stumbled from the bath, wrapping himself in one of the fluffy towels left by Tony. Thor followed blindly, and once he had dressed them both (Loki insisted on it), they returned to Loki’s room for Bruce’s daily examination.

Bruce didn’t ask why they both had wet hair.

***********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leikný: This name is related to the Old Icelandic word leika, "to play, sport; to delude, trick"
> 
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> 
> Not sure how spotty updates are going to be in the next month, but exams mean that I'm definitely a lot busier than usual. As I'm sure you'll understand, my education comes first, but I'll try to have another chapter up relatively soon. Hope you enjoy, and as always, feel free to check out my Tumblr: http://www.pastmydancingdays.tumblr.com/


	21. Recrudescence

_‘You must fix this!’_

_Odin was all fury and spittle as he towered over Loki, who had to let his nails bite into his palms hard to stop himself from shaking. Loki didn’t understand why the burden rested on him, as it was not he who the blame lay with. As they were newly settled at Asgard, Odin had asked a builder to fortify their defences by building a wall. A number of Asgardians (Loki suspected Thor was somehow involved), had bet that the builder would not be able to finish within three seasons, and had stupidly offered the builder the prize of Lady Freyja of Vanaheimr if he could do so. What they had not taken into account was his stallion, Svaðilfari, whose power was unparalleled, and the builder was dangerously close to completing his task. Loki had had nothing to do with said bet, but, as always, it had collectively been decided that he was at fault. And here he stood, not even an adult in the eyes of Midgard, quailing beneath his father’s misplaced rage._

_‘But Father, I did not-’_

_‘Whether you **meant** this to happen or not is irrelevant. He cannot be allowed to finish the wall in time. There are three days left, so I would hurry if I were you.’_

_As Odin swept away, Loki was left alone in the throne room, and he allowed the frustrated tears to well. ‘It’s not fair!’ he wanted to scream, but that would be unbecoming for the son of a king. Instead, he sank down on the cold, stone floor, and put his head in his hands._

_‘You look troubled, brother.’_

_Loki could not meet Thor’s eyes, shameful as he found his weeping, so he stared at the shining breastplate of his newly fitted armour. He swallowed the torment and blinked back his tears, so that when he looked up, there was no sign of weakness._

_‘Indeed,’ he replied coolly. ‘I have yet again been blamed for actions that are not my own. Would you know anything about that, perhaps?’_

_Thor shifted guiltily, ducking his head. Loki wanted to pull on that flowing, golden hair._

_‘I suspect it is something to do with Lady Freyja,’ he muttered, smoothing his cape._

_‘Yes,’ Loki hissed. ‘And it has been decided that I should correct **‘my’** mistake somehow, or all the punishment of the Vanir will rain down upon me. Do you know that they are calling for the death of the perpetrator? And for some reason, the perpetrator is said to be me!’_

_Thor’s face had drained of blood._

_‘Well then, you must do something.’_

_‘Why must I?’ Loki exploded. ‘It wasn’t me! As I have said so many times since birth, it wasn’t me!’_

_‘I know it wasn’t,’ Thor said softly, ‘but the Vanir do not. And as unfair as it is, they will blame you. And I cannot see you dead, brother. You can fix this with your magic, can you not?’_

_Though still infected with anger and despair, Loki tried to clear his mind._

_‘I think, perhaps, I could distract the stallion. The stallion is the problem, not the builder. Mother has been teaching me transformative magic, and I believe I am skilled enough at it now to cloak myself as a mare.’_

_He stood slowly and flexed his fingers, allowing the power to flow through him as he chanted softly the incantations he had been taught. Sure enough, he felt his body shift and bones remould themselves until he towered over Thor, in the guise of a black horse. The sudden change made him dizzy, and he stumbled sideways, skittering as he tried to adjust to four legs rather than two. Thor laughed in delight at his transformation, reaching a hand out to stroke Loki’s nose, only to find it violently butted away._

_‘Why, I did not know a horse could glare, brother!’ Thor breathed. ‘Or is it sister for now? Either way, this is a brilliant trick. Svaðilfari will surely be fooled.’_

_His face grew uncharacteristically solemn._

_‘I hope this works, Loki. If it does not, I will fight to the death for your life. Know this.’_

_Unable to vocalise his gratitude, Loki settled for bowing his head and blowing a soft puff of air out of his nostrils. Then he turned slowly, expecting Thor to follow, as always. If any of the palace guards wondered why the Crown Prince was leading a horse from the throne room, they did not say anything._

***********************

‘Majesty.’

Odin, weary and worried, raised his head to meet the eyes of Sölvi, who dropped his gaze immediately.

‘Yes, Sölvi?’ Odin pushed gently, noticing with guilt his head guard’s nervous behaviour – no doubt related to his earlier outburst.

Sölvi continued to fidget, before shoving his hands behind his back and standing at parade rest.

‘I have spoken to Heimdall this morning, sire. He is… distressed. He cannot see anything as of yet, but he insists that there is trouble coming – perhaps another Chitauri force. He wished me to tell you, for he dares not leave his post at present.’

More bad news. When Heimdall predicted trouble, trouble would inevitably come.

‘Thank you, Sölvi,’ Odin replied faintly, brow furrowing. ‘I shall go and speak with him myself soon. Is there anything else?’

Sölvi shifted awkwardly, perhaps unsure of how to respond to a kindly Odin.

‘Well, if it isn’t too impertinent… many of us are wondering about Prince Loki.’

Even the name was a stab in the chest now, but Odin couldn’t hide a smile.

‘He lives,’ he breathed, eyes crinkling as his lips turned upwards. ‘He lives, Sölvi! He is on Midgard at the moment, but I hope that he will return home soon. Even after all I have done to him. Frigga is with him now, looking after him.’

Odin stopped speaking, gaze far off in the distance, and Sölvi took that as his cue to leave. Bowing uncertainly, he turned, but was stopped by the king’s call of his name.

‘I must thank and commend you for your belief in my son. You were fighting for him when few others were, and in my blindness, I took that as wrong. I was wrong. You bring honour to Asgard.’

‘Thank you, sire!’ Sölvi said in wonderment.

‘And… on a darker note, I must ask. Please make sure the guards are well trained for combat. I fear that war is coming once more.’

***********************

Steve’s expression was bewildered, edging on disgust, though that was quickly reined in.

‘But they’re _brothers,_ Tony.’

Tony closed his eyes.

‘Much as I can’t believe I’m saying this, they’re actually not related at all. Yeah, they were brought up thinking they were, but things have changed. And I kinda think incest’s pretty rife in Asgard anyway. If you can accept horse babies, you can accept this.’

Steve looked thoroughly chastised as he nodded slowly.

‘Okay, I guess that’s weirder. It’s just that I’ve always thought of them as family to one another, not… lovers. How do you know all this anyway?’

‘Bruce told me,’ Tony shrugged, taking a big bite out of one of the high-carb muffins Steve told him off for buying. He continued talking with his mouth full. ‘Mama Frigga’s fine with it anyhow, and I guess that’s really what matters to those two. C’mon, if you’re so curious, we’ll go see them.’

Ignoring Steve’s weak protestations, Tony grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs towards Loki’s room. There were loud voices audible even before they entered the corridor, and Tony raised a brow at Steve in interest, before pulling him ever faster towards the door.

‘Mother, he does not wish to return to Asgard yet,’ Thor boomed, as Tony and Steve piled in.

Nobody gave either of them a glance as Loki and Thor stood together across from Frigga, Loki’s fists clenched so hard his knuckles were white.

‘Sweetheart, I know you don’t feel ready yet, but your father-’

‘N-not!’ Loki yelped, but he choked on the rest, hacking coughs doubling him over.

‘He believes there is another war coming,’ Frigga continued, more softly, ‘and that they will come looking for you.’

Loki was shaking his head, eyes closed tight and face screwed up. Thor, however, looked more uncertain than he had before, and though his arm was still clasped tight around Loki’s waist, he raised his hand for his mother to continue.

‘I would not be suggesting this unless I thought it absolutely necessary,’ Frigga said urgently. ‘Heimdall has sensed something approaching Asgard, and Odin fears for your life, or he would not be pressuring you. Thor, please, make him see sense.’

Thor nodded, and, oblivious to their audience, gently unclenched Loki’s fists and tugged his arms around him tightly. Tony felt like a voyeur as he watched Thor rock from side to side until Loki seemed to go pliant against him, curling his hands into the fabric of Thor’s shirt.

‘All will be well, Loki,’ Thor crooned. ‘I shall look after you. You will be safe with Mother and I in Asgard.’

Loki visibly stiffened, shaking his head again.

‘Thanos will find me,’ he wheezed. ‘Hurt you and… Mother.’

‘No, he won’t,’ Thor promised. ‘You will be protected, and Mother and I will be too. Have no fear, for I will do anything to keep you safe.’

Loki still looked mutinous, but he bowed to the pressure of his mother and Thor, dropping his head in reluctant acceptance. Frigga turned to Tony and Steve as if she’d always known they were there, which, perhaps, she had. Her beautiful face was pinched with worry, and her fingers danced on the sheath of her dagger.

‘We shall have to leave right away, but I must ask something of you first. War is coming to Asgard, of that, we can be sure. If we are in need of your aid, will you give it? Will you fight for Asgard?’

‘Of course, ma’am,’ Steve said firmly, before Tony could get a word out. ‘After all Thor has done for us… and what has been done to Loki.’

‘I thank you,’ Frigga breathed. ‘If the time comes, we will call upon you. Until then, we will be at home.’

‘Thank you, Anthony… Steven,’ Thor nodded to them both, clutching Loki tighter against him. ‘For all you have done for Loki, and for myself.’

‘Thank-’ Loki began, but it caught in his throat, and he looked desperately at them.

‘You’re both welcome,’ Tony answered quietly, sincere for once. ‘And if you need our help again, well, you know where we are.’

Thor beamed, and looked to his mother.

‘Heimdall!’ Frigga called, throwing a hasty ‘goodbye!’ at Tony and Steve. As the light enveloped them, Tony was left with the final impression of Loki’s small smile.

***********************

The journey to Asgard was turbulent as ever, and Loki gripped Thor, pressing his face against his chest as the air whipped past them. Thor had always regarded it as an adrenaline rush, but Loki merely found it unpleasantly stomach-churning, like the metal contraptions Midgardians liked to strap themselves into and be flung about in. He endured the flight as miserably as he had the last, but this time Thor steadied him when they landed.

‘Heimdall,’ Loki greeted hoarsely, his mending vocal chords protesting.

Heimdall bowed his head in answer, eyes much warmer than at their last meeting.

‘My Prince,’ he replied. ‘It is good to see you in Asgard once more.’

Loki raised his eyebrow at the about-turn, but nodded in acknowledgement nonetheless, drifting away from the ensuing conversation with Thor and Frigga. He found himself being led down the Bifrost towards the palace, the tone of Thor’s voice washing over him soothingly, though he found he couldn’t concentrate on the words. The sickening nerves of the last time he had travelled this road was slowly but surely returning to him, so he kept his mind on his breathing, eyes flicking nervously from side to side. To his surprise, the few people they passed stared at him in amazement, not disgust, and a few even smiled! He thought perhaps they did not recognise him – he had grown thinner and paler, and his hair was to his shoulders now. But as one old man hobbled past, he bent at the waist, staring Loki in the eye as he did so, and Loki was overwhelmed, waiting til the man had left before looking incredulously at Thor. Thor merely laughed, and rubbed the shoulder where his hand was resting, driving him along again.

He was happy enough floating out of reality on their journey, but the entrance to the palace snapped him back into himself sharply, gilded arches and glittering glass symbolising something much different than it had during childhood. Both Thor and Frigga seemed to notice his anxiety as they approached the guards, and crowded in on him almost claustrophobically, Thor’s free hand crossing his body to give his own a reassuring squeeze. The guards at first seemed impassive as they reached for the door handles to let them in, but Loki couldn’t mistake the fact that their quiet ‘Your Highness’ was directed at him. He had to be subtly herded through the door by Thor as he stared at the guards blankly, feeling as if he’d fallen into some strange alternate reality – he amused himself with that thought for a while. They arrived at the throne room before Loki was ready, after encountering yet more mysteriously polite guards and servants, one of whom had gaped so openly she had obviously not noticed the pillar in front of her face. He was still sniggering soundlessly to himself when the familiar sight froze him in place and the laughter died immediately, strangled in his sore throat. He noticed the guards’ hands reach for the handles, but Thor put a hand out to stop them.

‘One moment, please,’ he said quietly, turning to Loki and running his hands up and down his arms.

‘You don’t have to do this right now if you don’t want to,’ was whispered in his ear, Thor’s tickling breath sending shivers down his spine.

Loki shook his head, leaning into the lips that were now brushing his forehead.

‘I have to. Now or never,’ he breathed, allowing a brief kiss to be pressed to his lips before he pushed Thor away. ‘Don’t… they’ll see.’

‘And why shouldn’t they see? I want everybody to know.’

‘Not before we’ve… sorted it out ourselves,’ Loki said, still sounding firm though his voice rasped.

Thor looked offended for a moment, but the expression soon cleared, and he stared defiantly at the guards, who turned their curious faces away, reaching for the handles once more.

‘Right then,’ Thor smiled. ‘In we go.’

***********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I promised myself that I wouldn't post until after my exams, but I was **WEAK.** This is **IT** until at least the end of January, and if it isn't, someone has to virtually slap me for interrupting my revision. Anyway, I hope you guys like it. 
> 
> In the meantime, feel free to check out my Tumblr: http://www.pastmydancingdays.tumblr.com/


	22. Dysphoria

_The deed was done, but not as he intended. Svaðilfari had been distracted alright, enough to chase him around for three days until he finally submitted to-_

_It was of no consequence. Or so he told himself. Loki, still in his mare form, collapsed on the grass in a field on the outskirts of Asgard. He was too exhausted to shift back into his Aesir form, and too far from the palace to return there as he was, so he simply lay there, wallowing in his own misery. How could he go back to his father and tell him he’d been violated by a horse? He’d be laughed out of Asgard! No, he would tell no one. He would return to the palace and endure, as he always had done. And it was with that wretched thought that he finally fell asleep._

_He was disorientated when he woke the next morning in his mare form, but when he had gathered his senses, he believed he had enough energy to try transforming back. Hauling himself unsteadily to his feet, he let the magic flow through him, but instead of feeling the shift and reform of his skeleton, there was only a pleasant tingle. He opened his eyes, panicking, as he realised he had not changed back. He couldn’t return like this! The guards would have him stabled in minutes, and nobody would ever know what happened to the pathetic Prince Loki – or maybe even care. No. Mother would care. When another attempt yielded nothing, and drained him to boot, Loki dejectedly went to find food._

_The months passed slowly, but it wasn’t long before Loki noticed something was awfully, terribly wrong. His belly swelled though he ate little, and he felt his mood drop even further. No matter how he tried to deny it, the truth was soon evident. He was pregnant. He struggled alone through the blazing end of summer and the harsh winter, before it was spring again, and Loki knew he would have to give birth soon. He wasn’t sure how long horses carried their babies for, but when he began to wake with a small pool of milk beneath him, he knew it would be soon._

_It was the middle of the night when he woke to agonising contractions, a thick, yellow liquid gushing from him. Alone and frightened, he rode through the pain alone, huffing frantically as he bore down, hoping he was doing this right for the sake of his child. He hadn’t thought about what would happen after the birth, but as he let out a final screaming whinny, his fears didn’t matter anymore. As his foal broke from his membrane and staggered to his feet to nurse, he was overwhelmed by a surge of love for a creature that would have disgusted him in times gone by. For a moment, he thought his vision was doubling, as he counted eight legs, but it was of no import. No matter his guise, he was his. And once the child had finished, he staggered away on his spidery legs, only to slip in the mud and onto his nose. Loki got up slowly to nuzzle against him as he continued to sway drunkenly to his feet, musing._

_Slippy. **Sleipnir.**_

_But the peace was not to last. Loki did not know how to care for a child, much less a foal, and he wouldn’t let him die. The panic fuelled his exhausted attempt to change back to Aesir form once more. Sleipnir stared as his mother stood upright and went from four legs to two, thick body hair disappearing, and torso thinning – though she kept her mane, which comforted him. Loki flexed his muscles, trying to get used to being Asgardian again after so long. He flicked his mane- **hair-** over his shoulder and planted his shaking legs firmly in the ground, gesturing to Sleipnir._

_‘Come here, my love,’ he crooned, delighted when the little one skittered over to him. ‘We must leave for the palace now.’_

_But when he turned, expecting Sleipnir to follow him, he heard a thud. He watched him stagger to his feet again, but it was obvious he wouldn’t be able to manage the long journey, especially with his… disadvantage. Loki sighed._

_‘Alright then, darling.’_

_He heaved Sleipnir into his arms, trying to dredge up some magic to lighten the load, but there seemed to be no more for now. Cursing his misfortune, he hitched up the nickering foal and began the long journey back to the palace. Who knew, perhaps Father would be happy for once? He’d done his job, and Odin would have a grandchild to boot._

_Doubtful._

__

***********************

Loki side-stepped behind Thor as the heavy wooden doors were pulled open, making sure that he could still see ahead just over his shoulder. Straight ahead, Odin was on his throne, head cradled in his hands. He looked impossibly old.

‘Father!’ Thor called, an edge to his voice that Loki had never heard before. ‘You have amends to make!’

Odin’s head shot up, and from his vantage point, Loki could see his eyes focus first on Thor, then on the shadow behind him. He shrank further back, in the vain hope that – like a child – if he couldn’t see Odin, Odin couldn’t see him. He heard, rather than saw, the Allfather scramble to his feet, and he clutched at the back of Thor’s cape with slick fingers as those staccato footsteps tapped ever closer.

‘I-Is that…?’

Loki had never heard him falter before. He felt one of Thor’s arms move backwards and around him, palm splaying comfortingly over his back.

‘Yes, it is,’ Frigga said coldly. ‘Not yet well, but here for his own safety.’

‘I-good,’ Odin replied breathlessly, passing into Loki’s limited field of vision as he leant sideways. Loki pushed his face into the comforting red of Thor’s back, whose hand pressed firmer against him. ‘May I see him- you, Loki?’

‘That will be his choice, not yours,’ Frigga answered, colder still.

‘Of course.’

Odin sounded resigned, but Loki’s interest had been piqued. He didn’t think the Allfather had ever asked him something he could refuse. Before his brain could back out of what his body was telling him to do, he dislodged Thor’s hand and clutched it in his own, stepping out from behind the wall he had formed. His knees felt weak as Odin surveyed him with unreadable eyes. He had been in battle countless times, faced down a group of superhumans, and had lasted months of torture by Thanos, and yet it was his father he most feared. He was sure a Midgardian mind-healer would have something to say about that. Eventually, the long silence was broken.

‘Oh, Norns, what have I done?’ came the horror-filled whisper, before he unexpectedly lurched forwards and threw his arms around Loki.

Loki hadn’t expected it, and certainly didn’t want it. Panicking, he let out a cracked wail and lashed out ineffectually with still-feeble arms, before one of Thor’s large hands wrenched them apart. He found himself trembling in a more familiar embrace, face in Thor’s tunic, feeling the thunderous rumble of his voice through his chest.

‘He did not give you permission to touch him!’ Thor roared. ‘Do you know how long it was before I could? Or any idea what he has been through? And amongst everything else, one disgusting abomination ripped his very voice from him! He has been helpless, and I will not stand here and let him be thrown around like a ragdoll!’

The tirade seemed to silence Odin, and Loki heard him retreat a little. Calmer now, he squirmed against Thor until he could see Odin’s face. Fear and resentment still thrummed through him, the remnants of a not-so-distant past, and yet he couldn’t help but notice the extra creases there, and wonder.

‘I am sorry, ’Odin said wearily. ‘I did not mean any harm.’

The words were hollow and unhappy, with none of the certainty Loki had come to associate with him. He eyed him suspiciously from the safe cradle of Thor’s arms, hating himself for still craving his affection and attention.

‘In all of this,’ Odin continued. ‘I was blinded by the idea of infallibility. That nothing and no one could stand in the way of Asgard being great, and staying great, and I along with it. For that narcissistic, unreachable dream, I sacrificed your happiness, and thought it worth it. I deluded myself that treating you harshly was best, because the prophecies foretold of your betrayal. I thought that distancing myself from you and treating you differently, would make it easier when I would eventually have to destroy you. And now I have found that I have been spent hundreds of years reinforcing a lie…’

His voice trailed off for a moment as he blinked rapidly, bowing his head. When he raised it again, his eyes were watery.

‘For so many years, I have believed the inevitability of your villainy. But ‘tis I who am the villain now.’

Loki caught the matter-of-fact nod from his mother out of the corner of his eye, and despite the solemnity of the moment, a hysterical laugh bubbled up in his throat, manifesting itself as a sharp squeak. Odin’s lowered head shot up in alarm, but his sharp eyes softened as they caught Loki’s own.

‘Can you speak at all?’ he asked gently, gaze landing on Loki’s scarred throat.

‘Yes. Enough for…’ his mouth worked silently for a moment, trying to drag the words up, ‘…short sen-sentences.’

Both nerves and his sore throat prevented him from speaking further, so the ever-faithful Thor filled in the gaps.

‘He had manacles preventing him from using his magic. Mother has removed them, but it is taking a while to return. He is still healing.’

Odin nodded, surveying him with narrowed eyes.

‘Can we not speed up the process at all?’

‘Not unless you want a quick fix, only for him to fall apart again afterwards,’ Frigga retorted, arms folded.

‘Well, of course you know best, my queen.’

There was a contemptuous snort in reply, and despite himself, Loki felt uncomfortable. His parents had not often fought – or at least he had not seen them do so – when they were children, so he wasn’t sure what to do. Thor either sensed his discomfort, or his own became unbearable in the awkward silence, because he intervened.

‘Enough. You say there is danger for Loki on Midgard. Explain.’

‘Heimdall has seen… something,’ Odin began hesitantly. ‘He believes it to be another Chitauri force, and this time, it is larger. If Thanos-’

He stopped as Loki convulsed from head to toe, before continuing more softly.

‘If Thanos is aboard one of those ships, I want you safe here.’

‘I am _not_ weak!’ Loki growled, suppressing the ensuing coughing fit as best he could.

‘I know that. I know. But I think you have seen more than enough suffering for this lifetime, and it was my failings that led to it. Never again.’

‘Sorry, Father,’ Thor said scathingly (and Loki was both surprised and proud at his tone), ‘but keeping him within the palace didn’t exactly work last time.’

‘Last time was different, and you know it,’ Odin rebuffed. ‘You are to be his personal protector now. I am placing my trust in you, Thor. His life is in your hands.’

Loki felt Thor’s nod, the tips of his golden hair brushing his temples. 

‘You know I value nothing higher.’

A thought occurred so suddenly to Loki that he dug his fingers hard into Thor’s arm, hating himself for not considering it earlier.

‘You say I am here… for my safety?’ he gasped.

Odin nodded, brow furrowed.

‘My children!’

An unmistakeably guilty shadow passed over Odin’s face.

‘They will be retrieved. My men-’

‘No!’ Loki shouted throatily. ‘Mother retrieved me. I will ret-retrieve mine. Thor?’

‘Yes.’

If Odin was going to protest, it didn’t matter as Loki scurried away, dragging Thor by the hand with him.

‘Sleipnir first.’

They reached the stables in record time, Loki having weaved his way through corridors and groups of staring servants alike to get to his son. His fingers trembled as the cold sweat caused him to struggle with the door leading to the stables, Thor having to prise his hand away and take over. He hadn’t seen his boy for so very long, and he wondered if he would even recognise him. But now was not the time for hesitancy. The stable boy bowed hurriedly to them as they hurried past, nearly dropping the bucket of water he was carrying, though neither paid him any mind. Instead, Loki scrambled forward to Sleipnir’s stable, and flung open the door. The young, black stallion turned his head from his water pail, stumbling forward on his still awkward legs, and snuffling at Loki, nosing at his face. Loki endured the exploration happily.

‘I know, my love. I have… missed you too. Now.’

He pushed Sleipnir’s head away from his own gently, and sent a flow of magic through him. He was obviously resistant at first, nickering nervously, but with Loki’s soothing touch, he soon calmed. Before long, Loki had his hand on a mop of long, soft hair, and he opened his eyes to stare into the green of his son’s. He laughed in delight, and trailed his fingers over his cheek.

‘Hello, darling.’

Sleipnir tried to step closer to him, but stumbled on shaky legs, Thor rushing forward to hold him carefully upright.

‘M-mother, I am not used to this form,’ Sleipnir complained, shooting a hesitant look towards Thor.

‘Perhaps it is just your legs, Sleipnir,’ Loki replied softly, hand reaching to clasp his own. ‘This is Thor. He is going to look after us.’

Sleipnir opened his mouth to speak again, but apparently not finding the words, it fell shut like a trap.

‘I know you have many questions, child, and I will answer them in time. But right now, we need to collect your siblings. Would you like to stay in the palace, or come with us?’

‘I have siblings?’ Sleipnir said, bewildered.

‘Yes, my love. I promise you, I will tell you everything when we have time. But now, we must go. Are you coming with us?’

Sleipnir’s eyes watered. Flicking his hair back, he scuffled his shoes on the ground nervously.

‘I do not wish to be separated from you again,’ he whispered, and Loki pressed his lips against his brow.

‘Nor I you. Come then.’

But it was only a few steps before Sleipnir fell again, and Thor scooped him up in his arms without a word. Loki smiled at him gratefully, smoothing Sleipnir’s hair as he grumbled.

‘Thank you,’ he mouthed. 

‘I rather enjoy seeing you as a mother,’ Thor growled quietly, before raising his voice. ‘Where to next?’

‘Vali,’ Loki replied breathlessly, tacking a horse. ‘He is close.’

***********************

Not for the first time, Loki cursed Odin for taking his child from him, only to allow him to be raised by other Asgardians. Numerous times he had tried to visit him, and numerous times he had been turned away by guards sent by Odin. He had never been given a reason for his removal. As they rode, the bitterness welled in him, clawing at his throat until he was forced to open his mouth and expel it.

‘Why did father take him from me after all he had suffered?’ Loki spat, feeling his vocal cords burn with the effort.

Sleipnir gave him a curious look from where he was seated in front of Thor.

‘What did he suffer, mother?’

As Thor didn’t seem like he would offer information any time soon, Loki shot him a filthy look and answered.

‘After you… there were five more,’ he replied quietly. ‘My youngest – twins – were Vali and Narfi. After their mother… d-died, we hid in the wilds. I knew Odin would try to take them, a-as he took you all.’

He drew in a shaky breath, massaging his throat.

‘One day, the guards came for us. Thor tried to-to warn us, but he was too late. I was blamed for deeds not my own… and one m-m-monster took action. He turned Vali… into a wolf a-and set him upon his twin.’

Sleipnir gaped, jolting forward against Thor’s gently restraining arm.

‘And did he die, mother?’

‘Yes… Thor arrived not moments later. It was not an order from Odin, but Vali was taken nonetheless. To new parents. H-he said that the trauma would mean… he would not want to be near me. I disagreed, but w-when did that matter to Allfather?’

Thor nodded, face stony.

‘I asked for you, Loki. I begged. But he was adamant. Those damned prophecies.’

‘He was an idiot for believing them,’ Loki hissed.

A brief silence reigned.

‘I am sorry,’ Thor sighed. ‘I should have run with you when I could.’

‘No. That wasn’t your responsibility. It is the fault of that… abomination, and the Allfather.’

The ramshackle home of those chosen to foster Vali came into view on the horizon, and Loki urged his horse forward, suddenly struck by the need to gather those he loved to him, and hide them, keep them safe as he couldn’t before. At the gate, he leapt from his horse, closely followed by Thor carrying Sleipnir. The nerves rose in him like flame on wood, but he would not let them consume him. Raising his hand, he knocked once, twice, three times on the door.

***********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exams are over! Still hella busy but I'll see what I can do. Hope you enjoy, and feel free to check out my Tumblr:
> 
> http://www.pastmydancingdays.tumblr.com/


	23. Inexorable

_So it wasn’t exactly conventional. But Loki didn’t care very much. Angrboða was everything his father hated, and so naturally, Loki had fallen upon her like a starving dog would a leg of ham. Unfortunately, after the first few months, the thrill of rebellion had worn off, and Loki had had enough. She had the personality of a fencepost, and the intelligence to match._

_However._

_She was now pregnant, and Loki of Asgard would not be known as a father who would abandon his child. Just as he had been, with Sleipnir. So he waited, tried to look after her even if she tried to refuse his help. What was a couple of months to a near-immortal?_

_‘Don’t just stand there!’_

_The hiss, tinted with pain, carried across the freezing cave they were hiding in. Oddly, it had never bothered Loki as it should, and though his breath coloured the air smoky grey, his uncovered fingers remained unaffected. Angrboða arched her back, letting out a bellow as she bore down. Loki hurried to bring her the towels and hot water he had conjured, inspecting the birth’s process with twitch of the sheet covering her and a grimace. He had briefly considered trying to use magic to help speed things along, but he had no idea how it would affect her, and he would rather face down all the armies of Asgard than harm his child._

_‘Get it out of me!’ she screamed, writhing so wildly that Loki feared she would damage  
herself._

_Nevertheless, he grit his teeth and lifted the sheet, just in time to see a downy blue head emerge with a sickening squelch and a scream. He pulled the babe gently from its mother, wiping the birth residue from it as it screamed, and wrapped it in a towel. Him. He studied the features with both love and resignation; he had not known whether he would appear with Aesir or Jotünn skin, but it appeared to be the latter. Still, he was beautiful. He was about to hand him over (reluctantly) to his mother, when she let out another shriek of pain. He jumped, and the baby wailed accordingly._

_‘Another!’ she gasped, and he was forced to lay the crying child down as he delivered another. A girl this time, with the same blue skin and bright red eyes, strangely calm and quiet against her brother’s angry screeching and tiny, balled fists. And there was yet another, Loki feeling rather like an unprepared juggler as he scrambled to deliver the last, a boy with grasping hands and wide eyes. He passed them one at a time to their exhausted mother, who took them with a frown._

_‘They are small like you.’_

_‘And?’ Loki raised an eyebrow. ‘Was that not to be expected with one Aesir parent?’_

_Still, she looked discontented, and to avoid confrontation, he turned away. Deciding to make a fire to warm the vulnerable newborns and ward off any potential attackers, Loki, not for the first time, questioned his decision to play house in such a harsh environment. His inner musings were disturbed by a cry, but not that of an infant. He wheeled round to see Angrboða staring in horror at-_

_Oh._

_Where there had once been three tiny babies, there was now a wolf cub, a snake, and… well the girl looked half dead. Literally. On one side of the child, the skin seemed to be rotting away like that of a corpse, and that is what Angrboða was gaping at. Despite his own unease, he could not be disgusted by his child as her mother surely was. He stalked over to her and snatched the infant from her arms, guarding the others. As soon as the girl was back in her father’s arms, her form returned to that which she was born with, and the others soon followed suit, but it wasn’t enough for Angrboða._

_‘What in the name of the nine did you put in me, Odinson?’ she shrieked, scrabbling away from them, and dragging the blanket underneath them with her. Loki had to whisper a quick levitation spell in order to stop the squalling children from dashing their heads on the stone, and once he had satisfied himself of their safety, he glanced back at her with raging eyes._

_‘What are you doing, you fool?’_

_‘I don’t want these- these monsters! It is your fault, you runt! You have been cursed!’_

_‘They have my magic!’ Loki erupted. ‘Such power is to be worshipped, not hated, or feared!’_

_On her feet now, Angrboða smirked._

_‘Well you can have the freaks. I can always make more.’_

_Beside himself, Loki launched her into the air with a flick of his hand, and held her there. She twisted against the invisible hold, until her face went grey and she cried out, clutching her abdomen._

_‘You will have no more. You will subject no more babies to your neglect.’_

_He let her down none-too-gently, and stabbed his finger towards the mouth of the cave._

_**‘Leave.'** _

_She glared at him, shaking, but moved over to the children rather than the exit. Seeing her predatory gaze, Loki swung round, and punched her in the chest with a blast of magic, sending her sailing away._

_‘I told you to leave.’_

_The girl and the calmest boy had remained silent throughout the abandonment of their mother, but the eldest son was still screaming. Loki went to cradle him gently, sending soothing waves of calm across until his scrunched-up face relaxed and he burbled happily. He seated himself against the makeshift birthing bed, and pulled the other two onto his lap, flicking fire at the wood he had abandoned to set it ablaze. Running gentle fingers over tiny features, he smiled._

_‘Now how am I to look after you three then?’_

***********************

The door was eventually wrenched open, after Loki had spent several minutes dancing nervously from foot to foot, by a hulking hygienically-compromised man, whose gaping mouth and squinting eyes suggested a lack of intelligence rare amongst the Aesir.

‘Whattaya want?’

Loki sighed inwardly. He would have thought, at least, he would recognise the clothing of royalty.

‘My name is Loki, and this is Thor. I have come for my son.’

The eyes squinted further, before opening comically wide.

‘You are the princes?’ the man squeaked. ‘Wait… the boy…?’

‘Where is my son, peasant?’ Loki hissed, wrenching away Thor’s restraining hand. ‘Where is Vali? We have not the time for quibbling.’

The man went pale, and without a word, turned and beckoned them as he went.

‘The boy is very ill. My sister and her husband both died of this affliction.’

Loki’s heart dropped into his stomach, and the moment they entered the room Vali lay prostrate in, he fell to his knees beside the bed, whispering enchantments. Vali was almost as pale and thin as his father, white-blond hair sticking in sweaty clumps to his forehead. As he tossed and turned, muttering unintelligibly, Sleipnir staggered forward with Thor’s help, and clasped Vali’s little hand with a firm grip.

‘This is brother?’ he whispered to Thor, seeing his mother was busy.

‘Yes, he is,’ Thor beamed. ‘What do you think?’

‘I think… he looks unwell. He is small. How old is he?’

‘Not yet a half-century.’

The corners of Thor’s mouth were downturned as he regarded the miserable state of Loki’s boys. One shivering, coltish pre-pubescent, and one tiny, suffering child little more than a toddler – they had been failed miserably. He had failed them. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he smoothed back Sleipnir’s hair, and watched as Loki knelt back with keen eyes.

‘Daddy?’

The voice was weak and tremulous, but it brought joy to them both nevertheless. Loki let out a teary laugh, stroking Vali’s cheek with his thumb.

‘Yes, my sweet. I am here. Daddy’s going to bring you home, okay?’

Vali nodded, and he turned on the man who had opened the door.

‘Why did you not inform the palace of his illness?’ he demanded.

‘I didn’t even know he was yours,’ the man protested, scratching his head with dirty fingernails. ‘Nobody tells me anything.’

Loki whirled back around with a cat-like hiss, and moved to gather Vali up.

‘He needs treatment. I am not a healer.’

He wobbled under Vali’s weight, and Thor grabbed him, cradling him in one arm. Vali let out a shriek, and Thor had to hold on tight as he squirmed.

‘Daddy!’ Vali sobbed. ‘Bad man.’

‘Hush, precious,’ Loki soothed. ‘Thor isn’t bad. He’s going to look after us. He came to warn us, remember? And he’s looked after me while I’ve been… ill. It’s alright.’

Thor rocked him awkwardly, and Vali fell against him, limp. Suspicious green eyes surveyed him, and he offered a gentle smile, reaching out to settle Sleipnir on his other hip, ignoring the ensuing squawk of surprise.

‘We must go now,’ he told the man in the doorway, gesturing for Loki to follow him.

‘Do you want me to take them both?’ he asked, as Loki clambered onto his horse.

‘I-no. I have strength enough to hold onto Vali.’

Doubtful, but knowing Loki wouldn’t harm his child for pride, Thor lifted Vali to sit in front of Loki, before swinging Sleipnir, then himself, onto his own horse.

‘Back to the palace then?’ Thor questioned.

‘Yes,’ Loki replied quietly, frowning as Vali shivered even in the heat. ‘He needs medical attention now.’

Thor didn’t think he’d ever ridden a horse so fast.

***********************

‘Master?’

The titan before the trembling Chitauri warrior was rigid, hands clenched around metal that bent to his will, fingerprint marks pressed into the silver handrail. He held up a drink like hands in prayer, head bowed, as Thanos turned, stalking towards him with heavy steps. He sighed in relief as the drink was snatched from his hands and knocked back, one thick-fingered hand swiping across the putrid mouth.

‘You have news, I presume?’

The warrior closed his eyes, and nodded, all too aware that these could be his last moments.

‘Well then? Speak!’

‘Master, our spies have seen that the boy-prince is… no longer on Midgard.’

He quailed as Thanos’ face contorted in fury. A hand shot out and coiled around his neck.

‘What. Do. You. Mean?’

The warrior wheezed, pushing ineffectually at the hand compressing his windpipe. The grips suddenly loosened, and he dropped heavily to the floor, massaging his throat and gasping.

‘H-he was picked up by his mother and taken back to Asgard, that’s all we know.’

Thanos’ eyes narrowed.

‘He has been caged once more?’

‘No, Master… we believe that the truth has been discovered,’ the warrior squeaked.

The last thing he saw was a mace swinging towards his head.

***********************

‘Mother!’

Frigga’s pacing came to an abrupt halt as Thor skidded towards her, two children in his arms, Loki skittering after him.

‘Vali… needs help,’ Loki gasped breathlessly, and without a word, Frigga swept everything off her desk, gesturing for Thor to lay him down on it. Vali’s breathing was shallow, and his eyes were drooping, but still he screamed when Odin appeared. Sleipnir shrank back into Thor, legs wobbling so that Thor had to drop him into a chair in order to help Vali.

‘Go and get the healers now!’ Frigga demanded, smoothing a hand over his damp brow and murmuring platitudes.

Odin shrank away, leaving behind only the impression of his ghostly pale face.

‘I cannot do much, only wait for Hilda.’

Loki nodded sharply, and Frigga turned her attention to the other boy.

‘Is this Sleipnir?’ she asked, voice soft and soothing.

Sleipnir nodded, looking up from under his eyelashes.

‘Hello, darling. It’s so nice to finally meet you.’

Sleipnir looked confused.

‘But who are you?’

‘I’m your grandmother!’ Frigga laughed, hand running continuously through Vali’s soft hair. ‘Don’t tell me you didn’t tell them?’

‘There was hardly the time,’ Loki snapped, watching Vali with anxious eyes.

‘It will be well. I promise you.’

Loki wanted to believe her, but he’d never seen anyone look so ill. Hilda crashed through the doors with a number of junior healers trailing behind her, instruments in hand. Loki was pushed out of the way, and while he knew that they were only trying to help, he felt a sudden, cold fury, on having to leave his child’s side once more.

‘Loki, we must go for the others,’ Thor whispered urgently, pulling him away.

Loki nodded. He had a feeling that there was little time left.

‘Mother?’

‘I will look after them, darling, don’t you worry.’

Loki knelt in front of Sleipnir’s chair.

‘Will you stay here with Grandmother? It may be dangerous, and I want you to be safe.’

Sleipnir threw his arms around Loki’s neck.

‘Come back soon,’ he said softly, and Thor ruffled his hair as Loki got to his feet.

‘We will.’

Loki nearly ran from the room, knowing that staying much longer would make the separation unbearable. Thor caught up with him a little way down the corridor, having made his own goodbyes.

‘Fenrir?’

‘Yes,’ Loki replied, a nervous chill settling over him. ‘He’s in the wildlands.’

***********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Busy, busy, busy! Sorry this has taken so long but I don't think I'll ever have a spare minute again! Really hope you guys enjoy, and please check out my Tumblr if you get the chance: http://pastmydancingdays.tumblr.com/


	24. Sanguinary

_When Mother had told him that she was going to visit her family in Vanaheim, Loki jumped at the chance to go with her. He had long tired of the stifling walls of the palace, with its war games and spiteful courtiers, and his mother’s people had always seemed to be more enlightened than the Aesir. Vanaheim was beautiful, but in a different way to Asgard. In contrast to the towering spires and glistening waters he was used to, he was met with an altogether more rustic charm. Verdant green surrounded the stone walls of castles, brooks babbling their way through lush forests containing creatures of which Loki had never seen the like. It was wonderful, like the tales Mother had read to him as a child. Why ever had she left this place?_

_While Mother spent time with her distant relations, negotiating treaties, and marriage proposals, Loki spent his days wandering the woods in search of some peace. She had made vague inquiries about the possibility of a marriage of his own, but Loki had made it very clear that it wasn’t going to happen. No more marriages, no more children for Odin to steal away. Enough.As he meandered aimlessly through the forest, he found himself wondering whether he’d passed that particular rock before. Groaning in dismay, he flopped down on it as he tried to think where he’d come from._

_‘You're lost!’_

_Loki jumped to his feet, almost going cross-eyed as a woman hung down from the tree before him, dangling, blonde hair almost reaching the ground._

_‘Perhaps,’ he replied, annoyed that he had not noticed her until he looked a fool._

_‘My name is Sigyn.’_

_‘I never asked for it.’_

_‘Oh, don’t be that way! I know who you are anyway. You are Loki, son of Frigga.’_

_At this, his interest was piqued. He had always been ‘son of Odin’ or ‘brother of Thor’. Nobody ever mentioned her most dear to his heart._

_‘That I am, lady,’ he confirmed quietly, dropping back down on the rock._

_Sigyn smiled, then her face contorted in surprise as she fell gracelessly from the tree, landing in a heap of dress fabric and splayed limbs. Loki sighed. He supposed he should help her, and reluctantly stood from his comfortable rock to pull away the long swathes of fabric to uncover her reddened face. She pushed away the hair covering her eyes with impatience, and held out her hand._

_‘Thank you. I do so hate these latest fashions,’ she admitted, as Loki lifted her to her feet. ‘They make tree climbing awfully difficult.’_

_‘Don’t climb trees then.’_

_‘But I want to climb trees.’_

_‘Then don’t wear the dresses.’_

_‘But I have to wear- oh, never mind, you don’t understand. **Men.’**_

_‘And what do you mean by that?’ he asked, affronted._

_‘I mean that you don’t know what it’s like to be female! All this harassment about marriage and children, all the restrictions on your freedom. You have no idea!’_

_‘I have an idea!’ Loki cried, the volume of his voice shocking her into silence. It seemed to echo round the forest, bouncing off the trees and the rocks and the shimmering water. ‘I may not be a lady, but I am a prince, and if you think that’s all fun and games then you have another thing coming!’_

_Sigyn snorted._

_‘Oh, boohoo! Let me get my fiddle! Tell me of your misfortunes, why don’t you?’_

_‘Fine, I will!’ Loki bit out. ‘You judge me all you want, lady, but I am a stain on the house of Odin, and nothing else. My children, those borne from, and raised by me, have been ripped from me, my every misdemeanour punished with brutality while Thor shines, and I am loathed by all and sundry – that is, if they remember my existence. They call me Silvertongue; have sewn my mouth to keep my pretty words choked back, and how preferable it is for them to have me silent. Pliant.’_

_He drew in a desperate breath, voice dwindling to that of a mouse._

_‘Have you heard anything other than ‘brother of Thor’?’_

_She stared at him for a long time, silent and pale, and Loki hated himself for giving so much away to a stranger._

_‘My apologies, Lady Sigyn,’ he whispered. ‘You did not deserve-’_

_‘No. Do not apologise. Please.’_

_It was his turn to stare. He had committed an unforgiveable offence – frightening a Vanir girl was not tolerated in the nine realms – and yet she was not running for a brute to deliver his punishment._

_‘As horrible as your story sounds, I am still curious. You... bore a child?’ she asked, brow knotted._

_He sat back down on his favoured rock._

_‘Let me explain.’_

***********************

‘Grandmother?’

Frigga stopped her pacing and smiled gently at Sleipnir.

‘Yes, sweetheart?’

He shuffled nervously in his seat, playing with his hair in a way that was reminiscent of Loki as a child.

‘Will Vali be okay?’

Frigga glanced over to the crowded hive of healers surrounding the table for a moment, watching with a keen eye their expressions.

‘I’m sure he will, darling,’ she replied finally, her heart lifting as Hilda took a moment to smile at her, and the activity around Vali died down.

‘And Mother? She can’t talk properly.’

That threw Frigga for a moment, but she wasn’t going to quibble over gender pronouns.

‘She’ll be alright, love. She’s been hurt by some very bad men, which is why we need to find you all and bring you back here.’

She dragged a chair to sit across from him, grateful that the worst was over.

‘Why- why couldn’t I stay with Mother?’ Sleipnir burst out, imploring green eyes meeting Frigga’s with such naked innocence that she wanted to keep her silence so as not to sully him. But she couldn’t ignore his pleading.

‘Even the other horses got to stay with their mummies, why wasn’t I allowed?’ he asked brokenly.

‘I’m so sorry, Sleipnir,’ Frigga whispered. ‘Your gr- Odin made a terrible mistake. It was prophesised that if you children were allowed to remain with Loki, then awful things would come to pass. As it turns out, the prophecy was false, and there are none left living to punish for it.’ 

‘I wasn’t allowed because of a story?’ Sleipnir squeaked, and promptly burst into tears.

Without a second’s hesitation, she pulled him into her lap. He clutched her like he was drowning, and again, she cursed Odin for not allowing him to stay with them. Had he never had this contact? This love? She doubted it, even though the stable boys were indulgent. Rocking him slowly, she began to hum an old lullaby, one that had sent Loki and Thor to sleep so many years ago, choking out the tune. Eventually the sobbing stopped, his breathing slowed, and he lay sleeping against her, tear tracks staining his pale face. She hitched him further onto her lap with difficulty, as she wasn’t getting any younger, and he wasn’t a tiny child anymore, and settled back in her chair, watching as the healers finished fussing over Vali. A young trainee approached her.

‘Majesty, the young prince will be just fine. It is a terrible illness, and he was close to death, but Hilda and the others did very well. He is sleeping now.’

Frigga let out a pronounced sigh of relief, the boy asleep against her nuzzling into her neck as she shifted.

‘Thank you, my dear. You have also done very well. Please, take your rest now.’

‘Majesty.’

The girl inclined her head, smiling, and ducked away. Satisfied for now, Frigga looked between the sleeping child in her lap, and the one on the bed with affection. She didn’t have good enough answers for their suffering, she knew that, but she would do her best to care for them henceforth. She only hoped that Loki could find the others in time.

***********************

It was bitter cold out here, and Loki pulled his cloak further over his shoulders, shivering. The sudden slide of fabric made him turn his head, but another heavy cloak was deposited on top of his before he could speak. 

‘Thor… you don’t need to,’ Loki whispered, but Thor shook his head.

‘You are cold.’

And that was that. Still, as Thor crossed his arms to ward off the cold, his defined biceps were pulled taut, and Loki certainly wouldn’t complain about that. The deviation of his thoughts made him feel horribly guilty a moment later, when they arrived at the cave system Fenrir was contained in.

‘He is here?’ Thor asked incredulously, and Loki nodded.

‘Princely accommodation, is it not?’ His voice dripped with sourness.

Thor wisely chose not to answer. The cave entrance was dark, and though Thor gestured for some light, Loki refused. 

‘You cannot see yet, but there is a large hole in the ceiling where Fenrir is. There will be enough light.’

That, and he would rather Fenrir hear his voice before seeing them. Panicking him could have terrible consequences. He crept forwards in the lowlight, hand curling around Thor’s to guide him as they meandered through tunnels that seemed endless. Eventually, they could see a little more, and Loki knew they were near. He tapped Thor’s arm to grab his attention, and put a finger to his lips as they entered the cavern containing his son. Dragging Thor with him, he stepped quietly forwards, seeing only a hint of sable fur over the raised rock Fenrir inhabited.

‘Fenrir? It’s your father!’ he called, running his words together quickly in the hope that it wouldn’t frighten him into movement.

There was an obvious shift in the visible fur, and disregarding Thor, Loki clambered over hard rock to his son, scraping his hands as he went. But the sight that he was met with made him skitter to a stop and let out a low moan, Thor cursing first at the abrupt halt, and then at the state of the child.

‘Oh, by the Norns, Fenrir!’

Before them lay a wolf chained on its side, hooded green eyes staring hazily up at them. But what had truly horrified them was the sword forcing his mouth open, hilt on his tongue and point on the roof of his mouth, causing blood to seep sluggishly from open wounds. A pitiful whine came from the wolf, then a shaky, fluid-filled sigh. Loki shot forward, and with one hand, grasped the sword firmly, turning it into dust. The other curled around his collar, and did the same to his restraints. Without getting to his feet, Fenrir shuddered, and a flash of light rendered him in Aesir form.

‘Fa-ther,’ the dark-haired boy gargled, blood bubbling from his mouth and spattering across the rock.

He crouched, then staggered forward, and Thor leapt forward to catch him, Loki cupping his cheek with a hand and muttering. The blood stopped flowing, leaving young lips stained crimson, and Thor’s eyes met green ones that looked older than his own. For a moment, there was simply pain, then they filled with horror, and he was feebly kicked. He restrained the boy as gently as he could.

‘Fenrir, stop, it’s alright,’ Loki soothed, and at those words, Fenrir fell pliant. ‘Thor’s going to look after us, okay?’

‘Yes, Father,’ came the whispered answer.

‘Let me see you,’ Loki said softly, cupping his jaw, and threading gentle fingers through his wild hair. ‘Does your mouth hurt?’

‘There are no wounds to sting any more, but… I ache.’

Fenrir closed his eyes wearily, and feeling more than a little protective, Thor folded him against his chest.

‘I do not know why it was deemed necessary to harm you in such a way, but those responsible will be punished,’ Thor growled.

‘And if it was Odin?’ Loki asked dryly.

‘My answer still stands.’

‘You cannot punish the king.’

‘He will not be a king for much longer. He has seen the error of his ways, and he will soon step down, I am sure.’

Loki gave him a bitter smile, gesturing to his shaking son.

‘Not soon enough.’

A brief pause, as Thor eyes the exhausted boy in his arms. He nodded once in concession.

‘We must return to the palace with Fenrir,’ he said, voice rough. ‘Heimdall is our only gateway to the other realms at the moment.’

‘Unfortunately,’ Loki muttered.

Their journey was swift, and though they tried to explain on the way, it soon became apparent that Fenrir was too tired to listen. He spent the rest of the ride back asleep against Thor, and while the terrain was uneven, Loki fondly recalled that he could sleep anywhere. Another child was deposited with Frigga, then they found themselves in front of the gatekeeper once more.

‘To Midgard or Niflheim?’ Heimdall asked impassively.

Loki wavered for a moment, until he settled with a nod.

‘Midgard. Hela is least in danger.’

As Heimdall powered up the Bifrost, Thor couldn’t help but quip ‘I suppose her legions of the dead mean that she can look after herself.’

It was almost worth the withering look that he was met with as they were catapulted down to Earth.

***********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This one's quite short, but I'm proud that I've managed to get it done with all the work I (constantly) have lined up to do. Hope you enjoy, and as always, feel free to check out my Tumblr: http://www.pastmydancingdays.tumblr.com/


	25. Halcyon

_Sigyn was a delight. Her big, blue eyes and long, golden hair masked the sharp wit and intelligence of one much more suited to sorcery than battle, and for the first time, Loki found himself falling head over heels in love. They were married in beautiful Vanaheim, where even the flowers seemed agreeable, and Loki could ignore the disapproval of those who wanted her to marry one of their own. Though Mother had begged him to return with her to Asgard after the wedding, he had refused. After all, what was his was so often mistreated in his homeland, and he wouldn’t let that happen to his sweet Sigyn. It turned out he wouldn’t have to._

_She fell pregnant in the winter, and by spring she was blooming, all burgeoning belly and gentle smiles. When Mother visited and rested her hands on that blessed stomach, she foretold the birth of twin boys, which both excited and worried Loki. Two more children threatened by Odin. That was, of course, if Frigga was right. Sigyn laboured in the height of summer, hair sticking to her forehead as she wailed in agony. Loki was pushed aside by bustling midwives, but he heard the final scream and the ensuing cry of a baby, and rushed forward to hold him. With the bright blond hair of his mother and unnaturally green eyes of his father, he yawned in Loki’s arms. Loki laughed._

_‘Tired already, little one? You’ve just awoken.’_

_And Sigyn laughed with him, before she cried out again, and within minutes, there was a twin. Identical in almost every way, this little one carried an arrow-shaped birthmark beneath his left eye. Loki marvelled at his new addition, tipping his body towards Sigyn, who smiled wearily. But then she arched her back and let out a piercing scream, and Loki, carrying his children, was pushed to the side again._

_‘Sigyn!’ he shouted, trying to grab at a healer. ‘What’s wrong with her?’_

_‘She’s bleeding internally,’ one threw out grimly, hands covered in sickening crimson. ‘It isn’t looking good.’_

_Loki almost dropped the twins._

_‘L-let me try,’ he begged. ‘Perhaps I can-’_

_‘You know full well your magic is useless in this. You are not trained in the healing arts.’_

_He knew. Shuddering, he dropped into his seat, clutching the wailing newborns to him desperately._

_‘Please,’ he choked, ‘please help her.’_

_‘I shall do my utmost.’_

_Then he was left alone in the corner of the delivery room, watching healers swarm around his wife’s silent, still form. It seemed like hours before he was looked upon again, but when he was, the healer’s face was twisted with sorrow._

_‘No,’ he whispered. ‘Please, no. Please tell me she’s going to be alright.’_

_‘I can’t,’ the healer replied softly. ‘I’m so sorry. We did everything we could.’_

_‘No!’_

_One of the babies shrieked as his voice raised, and for one hideous moment, he wanted to throw him away, dash him into pieces on the ground and silence him forever. But the moment passed, and Loki instead pulled them into his chest, clutching them like what they were – the only joy he had left in his life. The healers removed Sigyn’s pallid corpse and left Loki alone, staring at the boys. The eldest, he called Vali. The littlest, Narfi. He and Sigyn had been playing around with names since they were mere quickenings in her womb, and these had been the ones she most liked. He would honour her through that choice. Days passed in grief, and only the mind-numbing routines of childrearing kept him sane. But as they grew, so did the discontent of those surrounding him. One day, before they had reached a year old, he was summoned before the elders of Vanaheim._

_‘Loki Odinson,’ one greeted. ‘News has reached us of your reputation in Asgard. I shall not mince words. We would like you to leave.’_

_‘What?’ Loki felt as if he had been slapped in the face. ‘But… Sigyn. Her children are of Vanaheim.’_

_‘You may leave the children if you wish. But you are no longer welcome.’_

_Loki knew what going home with them would mean, but he couldn’t leave them. Cheeks burning, he turned pleading eyes on the elder._

_‘I beseech thee. Please. Asgard has no place for our family.’_

_‘And neither does Vanaheim. We cannot have you endangering the realm.’_

_So that was that. Swallowing any further remarks, he turned on his heel and left, giving his mother’s kinsman a venomous glare as he did so. Within a few hours, the babes were ready for travel, and so was he. He called to Heimdall in defeat, and they were transported in a much gentler manner than normal. He raised an eyebrow at the gatekeeper._

_‘Do you enjoy giving us a rough ride every other journey?’_

_Heimdall said nothing, though there was a twinkle of amusement in his eye. Huffing, he left the Bifrost, and sneaked down to the stables, babies, heavy bags and all._

_‘And just where do you think you’re going?’_

_Thor. **Wonderful.**_

_‘Away,’ he answered quietly, saddling a horse as the guard outside Sleipnir’s stable warned him away with hard eyes. Thor frowned, but Loki ignored him, ready to leave without him knowing of his nephews. Then Narfi reached one tiny hand out of the sling the twins were being carried in, and all hope was lost._

_‘And who is this then?’_

_Thor’s voice immediately fell into a garbled coo, as he first stroked the little fist, then lifted Narfi out, to Loki’s angry protests._

_‘What is this little one’s name?’ Thor asked softly, cradling him in one large hand._

_‘Narfi,’ Loki grumbled, allowing the sling to fall open and show the other twin. ‘Vali.’_

_Thor grinned and picked up Vali as well._

_‘Oh, they are precious, Loki.’_

_‘Of course. They are mine. Now give them back.’_

_Allowing Vali to grasp his finger, Thor frowned._

_‘But I’ve barely seen them!’ he protested. ‘Can’t I just-’_

_‘No,’ Loki interrupted sourly. ‘Your track record with my children is terrible. Every second they spend with you, they are in danger.’_

_Thor flinched, and though he looked as if he wanted to argue, he handed them over one by one._

_‘At least tell me where you’re going with them!’_

_‘What, so you can blab to Father and get them taken away like my others?’_

_‘No!’ Thor shouted, then lowered his voice as the stable boys looked over. ‘I am sorry. I just want you to be safe.’_

_Loki gave him a long, piercing stare, under which he would normally have squirmed, but instead, he held his gaze. Finally, Loki sighed and relented._

_‘We are journeying to the country. Somewhere out of the way, and safe. If you tell anyone, I will murder you in your sleep, I swear to the Norns.’_

_‘I can believe that, dear brother. Very well. Do you want accompaniment?’_

_‘No. Father will get suspicious.’_

_Loki mounted the horse, Thor helping him juggle with the bags and babies. He was about to leave without another word, but Thor grabbed the reins, and then his hand._

_‘Be careful,’ he said quietly, squeezing his fingers._

_Loki smiled, detaching his hand and cajoling the horse into a trot._

_‘How many times did you ignore that same plea, brother?’ he shouted behind him as the horse picked up speed._

***********************

Thor winced as another engorged splatter of water fell onto the back of his neck, dripping down his collar and making him shudder.

‘Is it far?’ he asked tentatively, only to be silenced by Loki’s harsh glare, raven hair slicked back.

‘I am not entirely sure,’ he snapped, eyes flicking from side to side in the cavern, the blue flame he carried reflected in them. ‘I wasn’t exactly given an address.’

Thor tried not to slip on the glistening rock, doubting that Loki would stop to pull him out of the water, given the mood he was in. He too began to search, trudging dutifully along until he saw a strange ripple on the surface.

‘There,’ he hissed pointing at the movement, and Loki pushed him out of the way, dropping to his knees at the edge.

‘Jör?’ he called, trying to shake off the arm that locked around his shoulders as he leant forward. ‘Are you there?’

All of a sudden, the ripple expanded, and Thor could see a dark shape emerge from the deep. A large snake, jet as Loki’s hair, with shining emerald eyes, broke the surface. Upon seeing Loki, he surged forwards, only to be thrown back as he hit an invisible barrier that glowed blue on impact. Loki frowned, and picked up a crumbling pebble to throw. Where it hit, cracks splintered outwards in a spidery pattern, but the barrier remained intact. Thor watched nervously as Loki leant right over the water, grabbing his cape as a reflex, while he muttered unintelligible words under his breath. He felt a sort of wind, even though there was none this far underground, confirmed by the fluttering of an oblivious Loki’s hair in front of him. Then, the air seemed to be sucked away all of a sudden, until Loki threw his arms out wide and the barrier appeared brightly and shattered, leaving no trace on the rocks or water below. The snake twisted and grew, until it became a child, who looked helplessly at them before falling below the surface with a cry. Loki threw himself forward, but Thor stopped him, having seen him wheeze and clutch his side as the barrier came down. With a momentary shudder, he jumped into the freezing water. In the deep, he tried to navigate through the murky water to find Jörmungandr, eyes stinging as he forced them open. His lungs burned with the effort, but finally, a stream of bubbles led to a prostrate little body, which Thor grabbed, and pushed upwards, kicking powerfully. By the time he could take in a ragged gasp of air, the boy was on the rocks, Loki crouched over him.

‘Jör? Can you hear me?’ he asked, voice ringing with panic.

Thor pushed himself on to the side, seeing that Jör didn’t seem to be breathing. Loki was understandably frantic.

‘I cannot- I am terrible at healing!’

Once more, Thor pushed Loki out of the way and leant over the child, lifting his chin. He ignored Loki’s seething protests, and placed his hands on the little chest, pressing down gently and wincing as he felt fragile ribs snap. Loki cried out, and tried to move him, but he swatted him back, and sealed his lips over Jör’s, breathing for him. He repeated the motions, and repeated them again, until the boy gasped for breath, a trickle of water making its way from his mouth. As he turned and vomited, Thor rubbed his back, turning back to a pale Loki.

‘Dr. Banner taught me some Midgardian medical techniques when you were asleep. It was lucky he did.’

Loki nodded, and squeezed his hand in one lightning-fast movement, before gathering Jör into his arms.

‘Father?’ Jör whispered. ‘You came for me.’

‘We most certainly did,’ Loki smiled tearfully. ‘Thor just saved your life, young man, even if he did hurt your ribs a little.’

The boy rolled over, wincing, and gave Thor a toothy grin.

‘Thank you. May we return home now?’

Loki staggered as he stood with him, so Thor took him gently, giving Loki an admonishing look as he frowned.

‘We will be going to the palace, where you will be safe. All your brothers are there now.’

‘ _All_ my brothers? I have more than two?’

‘At one point, you had four,’ Loki replied, clambering up the sheer rock face ahead, then reaching down to lift Jör up. ‘Now there are three. It is a shame you have not been able to meet before now. But you know those circumstances were out of my hands, do you not?’

Jör was silent for a long moment.

‘I do. It was Odin,’ he said finally, in a bitter snarl.

Despite himself, Loki smiled. He still had the temper he had once got into trouble for, and Loki was glad to see it again. He passed him back over, and Thor shifted uncomfortably under the child’s sudden intense gaze.

‘You were there when they took us away.’

Thor’s cheeks burned at the unsaid recrimination.

‘I was,’ he confirmed. ‘I was acting under my father’s orders, but that does not make me an innocent. I will spend the rest of my life in debt to your father for my deeds.’

Loki tutted.

‘None of that nonsense. You’ve said you’re sorry, and I will let it hang over you in every argument we ever have, but you are not to be hangdog about it. I dislike seeing you miserable. That’s my thing.’

Thor blinked back tears of gratitude, and teased him.

‘That is your ‘thing’? I think you have spent too much time on Midgard.’

‘You are the one in love with the mortals,’ Loki countered, though there was no malice in it.

***********************

Tony was amusing himself alternately shoving popcorn kernels into his mouth and throwing them into Steve’s across the room, when a familiar column of light appeared in the room, and Queen Frigga of Asgard was stood before them once more. Tony let the latest congealed handful fall from his mouth, and Frigga eyed it with distaste, ready to address him. Only, he wasn’t looking at her. He was looking at his ceiling, silently lamenting the latest huge sum he would have to pay to repair his building again.

‘Did you have to use the laser method?’ he croaked, gesturing vaguely upwards.

She raised an eyebrow and flicked one hand, repairing the damage.

‘You couldn’t have done that last time?’

Ignoring him, Frigga clasped her hands together, a grave expression settling upon her fine features.

‘You may recall that I asked you if you would be willing to help Asgard. Unfortunately, our time of need has come much more quickly than expected.’

She sighed, letting her arms fall to her sides.

‘It seems the entire Chitauri fleet is converging on Asgard. After the last battle, we have neither the strength, nor the will to defeat Thanos. The fate of the entire nine realms relies on us winning, but even with the promise of aid from Vanaheim, and the potential legions from Jötunheim, we find ourselves in need. We cannot risk going to battle with just our soldiers, for they are weakened from the last. I will beg, if I need to. But I don’t think it will come to that. You are men of honour, are you not?’

Tony briefly considered making a noncommittal gesture, but he nodded just as firmly as Steve.

‘We’ll gather the team,’ he assured her, smiling as she seemed to wilt with relief.

‘Thank you. If your world is ever in need, Anthony, we will come to your aid. Now I must go, because I have my grandchildren to protect, but when you are ready, just call to Hemidall. You will be delivered onto the Bifrost. Many thanks, again.’

And then she was gone, leaving Steve and Tony staring at the place she had vacated.

‘Grandchildren, huh?’ Steve smiled. ‘Looks like Loki got his way.’

Tony nodded absently, before snapping back to attention.

‘Shit. JARVIS? Call the Avengers. All we need is the word ‘Assemble’.’

***********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, another chapter! Hoping I can bang a few more out before the DREADED EXAM SEASON comes to sweep me away again. Really hope you guys enjoy it, and as always, feel free to check me out on my Tumblr at: http://www.pastmydancingdays.tumblr.com/


	26. Stygian

_The grief consumed him entirely. He spent his days alternately weeping, confined to his room, and begging his mother for Vali back. She withstood his pleading with tears of her own, telling him that it was not her decision, that she couldn’t do anything to help him, and before long, it was clear she could hardly bear to be in the same room as him. So he bade her go in a screaming rage, hurling poisonous words and precious trinkets alike, and she did not return to the prison he had ensconced himself in._

_The first time Thor came to visit, with sad eyes and wringing hands, he apologised for his loss and told him not to upset Mother. Loki fell on his back, screaming with hysterical laughter until his lungs burned and his sides ached, pulling, clawing, **tearing** the bedclothes beneath him. When he opened his streaming eyes, Thor was gone._

_Once, they sent Odin in. After weeks of isolation, his outbursts had finally taken their toll, and he lay on his bed, prostrate and exhausted. But that didn’t stop him clambering to his feet with a hiss of rage, as his father regarded him miserably._

_‘Loki, I am sorry. The instigators will be punished, and once you are able, you may decide their punishment.’_

_Loki gave him a feral grin, still tinged with the resentment that had long since taken hold._

_‘But you cannot have Vali back.’_

_The grin slid away slowly, leaving in its place a twisted snarl._

_‘You are not in your right mind,’ Odin hurried. ‘The child is safe, and I fear being here would only-’_

_He never had a chance to finish, for Loki let out a piercing shriek of rage, and with a pulse of all the magic he could draw from his shattered body, sent him flying clean out of the room. Shaking with fury, he tensed his muscles, ready for a fight._

_But he never came back._

_Months later, when Loki was able to at least put on a front of being alright, he emerged from his hibernation with vengeance in his heart. He put on his finery, and made them kneel before his father’s throne, refusing to even glance in Odin’s direction. He listened to the familiar, tired speech, then an intriguing new addition about harming heirs to the throne._

_**Practice what you preach, old man, he thought.** _

_And then came the part he’d been waiting for. With an unfathomable expression, Odin gestured him forward, and he swaggered down the stairs, trying and failing to smile. He had wanted to frighten them, but as he watched these broken men cower beneath him, the brief rush he had gained from power left quickly, and he hadn’t the strength to do anything but stare blankly. He drew the moment out, watching them squirm with detachment, then gave his verdict._

_‘Death. By hanging. They shall be an example to all those who defy the crown.’_

_The next day, a large crowd had gathered in front of the line of nooses. Dotted around were crying women and children, and Loki supposed they were their families. But even the tears of the little ones failed to move him. His own children had shed many more. Thor stood next to him at the right of the balcony overlooking the scene, Odin in the centre. His hand was surreptitiously taken, and he didn’t pull away. The ex-guardsmen were dragged out in chains, many sobbing, but a few dry-eyed. Loki watched them be placed in front of the nooses, have their necks decorated with rope, say their final words. And then came the drop. The trapdoors opened, and his eyes bored into each in turn, scrabbling at their bonds, slowly being strangled. Seeing the life leave their eyes eased a little of the knot in his chest, so he turned to Thor and smiled brightly, getting a tight grimace in return._

_‘Know this!’ Odin projected. ‘Crimes against my house will not be tolerated. You have been warned. Now disperse!’_

_And Loki hoped they did know it. He would not allow his children to suffer any more. He would bring the Nine to their knees if that’s what it would take._

***********************

Thor shivered as they touched down on Niflheim, and not so much due to the cold. A desolate wasteland lay before them, and though Loki strode on ahead without a word, mouth set in a grim line, he could not see where they were to go. Still, as always, he followed. Distracted by the harsh environment, he almost fell over Loki as he suddenly bent down, heaving ineffectually at a large rock.

‘Make yourself useful,’ Loki snapped, pointing at it.

Thor raised an eyebrow, but dutifully stooped and dragged it away with little effort. Beneath, there was a deep hole in the ground, and if Thor squinted, he could just about see a ladder leading down into the gloom. Loki gestured for him to climb down.

‘Age before beauty,’ he smiled, ignoring Thor’s glare. ‘No, but seriously, there’s probably going to be a rabid guard dog down there, and I don’t have much magic right now. It’s all focused on healing me.’

Thor nodded, catching and squeezing Loki’s hand before he began to descend, the metallic thunk of his boots hitting each rung echoing down. Loki followed as soon as he could, quick eyes acclimatising to the darkness, and noting a shift at the base of the ladder. Perhaps against his better instincts, he caught Thor’s hand before he could go too far down, and conjured a ball of light in his hands. At the base of the ladder, a huge, snarling dog rose from its haunches, bared teeth gleaming up at them in the dark. Foaming spittle sprayed from its mouth as it began to bark ferociously, rising onto his back paws and leaning against the ladder. The ball of light began to flicker on and off, and Loki cursed, feeling his weakened magic short circuit. He had hoped to paralyse the dog, but there was no hope of that now. From where his hand lay on Thor’s, he felt his knuckles tighten, and his other arm raised Mjölnir high.

‘Thor, must you?’ he hissed.

‘Well, unless you have any better ideas,’ came the answering mutter.

Again, the weapon was raised, but before it could be thrown, a light became visible from the cavern below.

‘Kolla!’ a man’s voice called. ‘Who goes there?’

‘Loki Odinson, Laufeyson, Friggason – whatever. Prince of Asgard. And Thor; you know my brother I presume? We have come for my daughter.’

There was a click, and the dog slunk away, allowing Loki and Thor to descend. A torch lit the haggard old face of a scarred man, who gestured for them to follow.

‘Kolla?’ Loki remarked. ‘Why would you name a dog that?’

‘Her full name is Kolbúrn,’ the man grunted, as they passed through endless stone corridors. ‘Kolla’s just easier.’

‘Well, it’s - _ah_ \- certainly accurate.’

‘Yeah, well. Most of our residents aren’t terribly imaginative.’

Thor remained silent as Loki and the man made awkward small talk, looking ahead nervously. Niflheim was another theme that had run through their stories as children, and a part of Thor was still scared of the land of the dead, princehood be damned. Loki seemed to have no such problem. He nigh-on skipped through the corridors. Still, Thor supposed, he had the reward of his child at the end of it. The man left them in front of an ornate wooden door, taking the ferocious dog with him. Loki’s excited expression dropped, and his hand moved forward to graze the handle.

‘What is it, my love?’ Thor whispered, after a beat’s silence.

‘I fear-’ Loki’s voice quavered. ‘I fear she will not wish to come with me. She has been forced into responsibility, and she was always so strong-willed...’

‘She will. She will have missed you terribly, as the others have.’

Loki sighed.

‘It is not in her nature to be soft.’

Before Thor could say another word, the handle was grasped, and the door opened. On the other side, there was a large, cavernous room, almost empty bar an iron throne that was much too large for the girl sprawled in it. If you could say she was a girl, that is. Half of her was ivory-skinned and raven-haired, doll-like in her beauty, while the other was a wretched mask of rotting skin.

‘Enough with the illusions, child,’ Loki said softly, approaching her. ‘There is no one to frighten here.’

She rose in a sedate manner, the mask dissolving until her matching half was revealed.

‘Father?’ she asked, hand clasped behind her back. There was a tiny tremor in her voice.

‘Yes, it’s me,’ Loki smiled, daring to step forward again.

She stepped off the dais her throne lay on and ran to him, throwing her arms around his waist. Beaming, Loki ran a hand through her hair.

‘Hela, I have- _oof.’_

She reared back for a moment and kicked him in the shin.

‘Why have you taken so long?’ she demanded, pouting in a way most reminiscent of Loki himself, before throwing her arms back around him.

‘I was not allowed to come to you,’ he whispered, combing through her hair.

She turned her head in the embrace, and clocked Thor standing awkwardly off to the side.

‘I am not a threat,’ he said quickly, having learnt his lesson.

‘I know. Father wouldn’t have brought you if you were.’

‘Told you she’s not soft, love.’

‘Ooh. Is he going to be my new stepfather?’

‘Enough.’ 

A fourth voice echoed through the chamber, and a man stepped out from the shadows. Tall and thin, with greasy, mousy hair, he sneered at the newcomers.

‘And who are you to tell us so?’ Thor boomed, affronted.

‘I am Álfljótr.’ His voice was oil-slick, as greasy as his hair. ‘And I am Hela’s second-in-command. I cannot allow you to leave with her.’

‘You do not _‘allow’_ anything, Álfljótr,’ Hela replied coldly. ‘You are my second.’

‘But, my lady,’ Álfljótr sneered, ‘who will rule once you are gone?’

Hela turned to Thor and her father for a moment.

‘We can’t leave him to do that. He’s terrible. Perhaps… I should ask some of my friends for help.’

‘Whatever you suggest, _my lady,’_ Loki smirked, earning him a glare.

Hela nodded and stepped back.

‘Guards!’ she called, and Álfljótr swore as a veritable army of ghouls appeared in the throne room. ‘Watch over the realm for me. Keep this rat away from true power, and I shall send someone to take my place as soon as I can.’

Álfljótr was immediately restrained, and dragged out of the room.

‘Right then. Any particular reason we’re leaving? Why now?’

‘Because you’re in danger, Hela,’ Thor explained. ‘We have gathered your siblings at the palace, because Thanos is waging war.’

Hela shuddered.

‘Thanos. May the Norns save us! Wait… my siblings? I’m almost offended that I was last.’

Loki gave her a playful shove.

‘You can look after yourself, girl. Queen of the Dead? You’ve beaten me in title already.’

The answering shove nearly sent him into the wall.

***********************

The others arrived more or less together, bursting into the penthouse with weapons drawn, only to stare in confusion at Tony and Steve, who sat calmly at the breakfast bar, in their suits.

‘Isn’t that uncomfortable?’ Clint asked after a moment of silence, gesturing at where Tony had managed to hike his leg up to cross over the other one.

‘Yeah, it’s cutting in pretty bad. Just wanted to look casual, y’know?’

He took hold of his leg and began to push it off the other with a drawn-out metallic screech that made them all wince.

‘Right, now _that’s_ over,’ Steve muttered, standing and raising his voice. ‘Queen Frigga paid us a visit this morning. She needs our help. Asgard is on the cusp of war.’

‘So what are we waiting for?’ Natasha asked coolly.

Steve looked to Tony, who shrugged and walked over to the rest of them.

‘Heimdall?’ he called, and the same flash of light that Frigga had arrived with surrounded them all.

They landed in a heap in front of the gatekeeper, Bruce rolling to the side and gagging as Clint landed directly on his stomach.

‘Sorry man,’ Clint gasped, hand over the eye that Natasha had inadvertently elbowed him in.

‘So you are… the Avengers?’ an armoured man questioned as he approached, eyebrow raised.

‘Yeah. More impressive than we look, I swear,’ Tony promised.

Clint snickered.

‘Dude, your face plate’s hanging off. You look like a broken toy.’

‘Hey, you’re wearing a glorified Spanx-suit, man, so don’t play.’

‘So’s your boyfriend.’

‘Yeah, but his ass looks a hundred times better than yours.’

‘You’ve been looking?’ Steve chipped in.

‘No, I-’

‘Guys!’

They all turned to look at Bruce, who shifted awkwardly under the scrutiny.

‘He’s waiting,’ he finished weakly, earning himself a smile and a once-over.

‘My name is Sölvi. And you are?’

‘Bruce,’ he replied shyly, dipping his head.

Tony looked between them, then his eyes lit up. Steve shot him a warning glare.

‘And I’m Tony – this is Steve, Natasha and Clint.’ 

He staggered to his feet and helped Steve up.

‘Welcome,’ Sölvi smiled, eyes fixed firmly on Bruce. ‘The king has been eagerly awaiting you. If you would follow me.’

He beckoned and turned, striding past Heimdall and earning a slow nod for his grin. They scrambled to follow him from the Bifrost, the light from the golden city ahead causing them to shield their eyes against the glare. Bruce gasped in delight, hurrying so he was next to Sölvi.

‘It’s beautiful.’

‘That it is. I have lived here for a thousand years, and yet I never tire of its brightness.’

‘A thousand years?’ Bruce choked a little on his spit. ‘Wow.’

Sölvi seemed unconcerned by his outburst.

‘And how old are you… Bruce?’

Bruce laughed nervously.

‘I’m- _ah,_ I’m 35.’

Sölvi’s head snapped sideways. He stared incredulously at Bruce.

‘They are sending children into battle for us?’

‘No, no, no, I-I’m an adult, we age differently. Promise.’

He wasn’t sure why it was so important that Sölvi understood, but it was. After a long gaze during which Bruce felt his very soul was being read, Sölvi nodded and smiled. Bruce let out an embarrassingly ragged breath, and walked faster.

‘Hey, where’s Thorki?’ Tony piped up from the back.

‘Thor and Loki,’ Bruce clarified, in response to his confused stare.

‘The Princes have been collecting Prince Loki’s children. I believe they will be back soon. In the interim, King Odin would like to speak with you. War is almost upon us.’

The doors ahead opened, and Sölvi removed his helmet, threading fingers through thick white-blond hair.

‘In there,’ he gestured, and when Bruce hesitated, he smiled. ‘I shall wait right here.’

***********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, new chapter!
> 
> Quick question for you guys: chapter titles - love em, hate em, don't give a shit? Just interested, that's all.
> 
> Hope you enjoy, and as always, feel free to check out my Tumblr: http://www.pastmydancingdays.tumblr.com/


	27. Portent

_There was a distant whimpering coming from an alleyway off the street Loki was hurrying down. He didn’t much like the idea of stopping, what with the recent animosity towards him, yet although the whimpering was obviously that of an animal, he couldn’t help but think of his children. Shifting the basket he carried from one hand to the other, he pulled his hood further over his head, and followed the sound. As he approached, he heard muted laughter and scuffling. When he came to the end of the alley, he was sickened, if not surprised, to see a group of boys kicking a tiny, shivering animal. It cried out in pain with every boot._

_‘What are you doing?’ he asked darkly._

_With his head lowered and his cloak billowing behind him, he must have seemed fearsome, for the boys tried to scatter._

_‘Ah, ah, ah.’_

_With a burst of light, they were levitated in the air, flailing for ground three feet below them._

_‘I won’t ask again.’_

_‘W-we were just having fun.’_

_‘Fun?’ he growled. ‘And how is torturing innocent animals fun? Did you enjoy its squeals of pain, boys? Are you so block-headed that this is the only amusement you can find? Let me tell you, this is how it starts. I have known many young ones with an interest in harming those much smaller than themselves, and they grow to be monsters. Do you wish to be monsters?’_

_Each shook his head wildly, but Loki did not lower them._

_‘See, I don’t entirely believe you. Canute. Viggo. Haldor. Yes, I know you. I am going to curse you.’_

_Haldor let out a wail._

_‘Hmm, you’re rather starting to sound like the animal you tried to kick to death. Now, calm. It will only be temporary. You are going to feel every bit of pain you have inflicted on it starting from… now!’_

_Almost immediately, all three began to cry, grinding their teeth together and writhing._

_‘Come, come. Mustn’t make a fuss, boys. Now, you are not going to tell anyone about this, unless it is to confess your crime and beg the Norns for forgiveness. And let me tell you as for why. If you attempt to inform anyone of my presence, I will come to you in the night and steal you away to Niflheim. Are we agreed?’_

_The boys nodded, tears still streaming down their faces. Loki bared a gleaming, wicked smile._

_‘Good. Now off you go. Ooh, just a final warning.’ He flicked his hand lazily at them as they dropped to the ground. ‘If you ever try and harm an animal again, the pain will return, permanently, and twice as strong. Run along.’_

_They scattered, and Loki paid them no more mind, turning to the shivering ball of grey fur behind him. Closer inspection revealed a bloodied puppy, tiny belly swollen, laboured breaths forcing it up and down. It shivered as he approached, opening one drooping, red eye. Albino. Different, like him and his own. He shushed its whimpering, gingerly checking its gender – a male. A stream of magic he sent forth cleared up a few of the most obvious cuts and bruising, but as had been proved time and time again, his strength was not in the healing arts. So he gathered the puppy in his arms, and hurried back to the palace._

_‘Mother!’_

_Frigga turned at the urgent call, looking up from where she was inspecting the new weaponry of the guards. Loki ran to her, cradling a tiny bundle in his arms, and for one terrible moment, Frigga thought it may be another child. But when he let the folds of his robs fall, they revealed a little grey puppy, who whined balefully as it regarded her with its non-swollen eye._

_‘Oh, precious thing,’ she whispered, carefully taking him from her son. ‘What happened to you?’_

_‘His attackers have been dealt with.’_

_It was a bitter reply, in a tone that she was hearing more and more from Loki. She pushed down her curiosity, and turned her attention to the pup, who licked the finger next to his face. Smiling, she cast her hand down his body._

_‘Be well, little one.’_

_The broken bones were reset with a yelp, the bruising disappeared, and the blood cleared, leaving only one closed eye. Although Loki had seemed to relax, seeing the remaining ailment elicited from him a harsh bark of laughter._

_‘Oh, now he matches Father! Perhaps I should hide him, in case he will steal him away too!’ he smirked, though the turn of his lips was rather more a snarl._

_‘Loki,’ she sighed. ‘Please.’_

_Perhaps taking pity on her, he gave a jerky nod._

_‘He’s mine now. What should I call him Mother?’_

_And in that moment he was a boy of fifty again, running to her with an animal she couldn’t allow him to keep. But he was an adult now, and he would make his own choices. She would not try and make them for him, as so many others had._

_‘I’ve half a mind to tell you ‘Odin’,’ she murmured, if only to see his grin. ‘But perhaps that would cause trouble… Bjorn. That is a strong name.’_

_Loki regarded the puppy doubtfully._

_‘He doesn’t look much like a bear. But maybe he will grow into one.’_

_Three weeks had not yet gone by before he had trained Bjorn to nip at Thor’s ankles every time he saw him._

***********************

‘So, uh, we turned up,’ Tony said awkwardly.

He was torn between showing respect for a royal and shunning the bastard that had treated Loki like shit. While he was waiting for an answer, he took a brief moment to consider the absurdity of the situation. He was in Asgard (wherever the hell that actually was), wearing his suit, surrounded by people in Spandex and gold-plated armour, trying to save the universe from a skeleton dude. He’d had saner acid trips.

‘Yes, you did,’ Odin smiled, looking old and wan. ‘I thank you.’

‘It wasn’t for you.’

The king’s gaze fell on Bruce, as did those of the others’, and he squirmed.

‘I-It was for Thor and Loki.’

Odin nodded, hanging his head.

‘I have done nothing to merit your kindness, I know,’ he answered pitifully. ‘But I am nevertheless glad you would come to the aid of my children and kingdom.’

‘It was the least we could do for them,’ Steve affirmed. ‘And if I’m understanding right, your realm going down wouldn’t be great for ours either.’

‘No, no it wouldn’t.’ There was a brief pause. ‘While you are here, you have free reign of the palace and the lands around it, but I would ask that you not stray too far. Heimdall can see that the Chitauri invasion will not be long coming. You have your pick of the guest rooms, and if you need anything, you need only ask one of the servants.’

‘Thanks. Can we go now?’ Natasha asked coldly.

‘You may. As an aside, I hear the children are eager to meet you.’

Without a word, Natasha span on her heel. The others followed her from the room, except for Tony, who hung back.

‘Right, so. I know you’re a king and all, but are you gonna let me be straight with you without calling ‘off with his head!’?’

A vague flicker of amusement passed over Odin’s face, but he nodded nonetheless.

‘You’re an ass. A real fuckin’ ass, you know that?’

No reply. Just a dropped gaze.

‘When Loki turned up in the Hudson, he was absolutely beaten to shit. Malnourished. Terrified. My God, I almost wished sometimes his personality would switch back to when he was playing at Pinky and the Brain! And that ain’t all from Thanos. He’s shit scared of you too, if you hadn’t realised.’

‘I know that,’ Odin whispered. ‘I know it and I hate it. I hate what I have done to him. Our culture so often takes the view that ‘what is done is done’, but I cannot force down my regret.’

‘Yeah, well I don’t think regret is gonna cut it this time. Tell you the truth, I don’t think he’ll ever forgive you, and he’s well within his rights to never speak to you again. But if you want any form of family, dysfunctional as it is, you’d better stop blurting out pretty words and start acting. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.’

He didn’t wait to be dismissed. His heart was pounding as he swept out of the room (as much as he could in his suit anyway) and chased after the others. A door down the corridor was open, so he made a wild guess and went through it, not surprised to find the others, but also four boys who were mostly the spit of Loki, apart from the littlest one with Targaryen hair. They all, however, had those unnatural green eyes, which lit upon him like lasers as he stepped into the light of the room. He gave them all an awkward grin (never had been great with children), and wandered over to Steve, who was discreetly shifting in his costume whilst talking to one Loki clone. Tony’s hand slithered out and plucked at the fabric over his backside.

‘God, you must get a hundred wedgies a day,’ he whispered, smirking.

Steve’s cheeks blazed red.

‘Shuttup!’ he hissed, before smiling at the boy who was eyeing them oddly. ‘Fenrir, this is Tony. Tony, Fenrir.’ 

He smiled in greeting, but the kid still stared.

‘Is that armour?’ he asked softly, hands clutching and tugging at the ends of his sleeves.

‘Uh, yeah! Bit different than your guys’ stuff.’

The little boy nodded solemnly. Steve cut in.

‘Fenrir was just telling me about Loki and Thor finding him.’

Steve was a little pale, and Tony was sure he’d get the whole story later. After all, reading something in a mythology book was a lot different to the stark reality in front of them.

‘So they came to get you, huh? Daddy and… other daddy?’

Fenrir adopted a confused expression.

‘Daddy and Thor,’ he whispered, eyes flicking up at him, then nervously away again.

Tony bent down on one knee in front of him.

‘That’s good, isn’t it?’ he smiled, keeping his voice low and quiet. ‘That they came to get you?’

A quick nod.

‘I didn’t like it. Missed Daddy and Jör and Hela. Grandma says Daddy and Thor have gone to get Hela.’

‘That’s good. I’m sure they’ll be back soon,’ Steve said warmly. ‘Hey, wanna introduce us to your brothers?’

Fenrir looked around uncertainly, but then nodded. He got to his feet, and promptly started to wobble, causing Steve to steady him with a quick hand. The little boy stared down at his shaky legs with dangerously teary eyes, but before there could be any waterworks, Steve scooped him up onto his hip.

‘Still a little sore, hey? That’s to be expected, don’t worry. C’mon, let’s go talk to the others.’

He hitched Fenrir up higher and wandered off, beckoning to Tony.

‘You can stay behind me and pull the Spandex out of my ass,’ he stage-whispered teasingly.

Hours later, the sunlight had been swapped for torches, and the children fell asleep one by one, sprawled across various pieces of furniture. The guards had suggested moving them, but Frigga had disagreed. She wanted them all in one place in case of the worst, and Tony wouldn’t argue with that. He looked to Steve, still holding the dozing Fenrir, mouth wide open and head lolling against his chest. He was sure he could see a little drool shining there against the fabric.

‘Not tired yet, huh?’ he whispered, pushing the long, dark fringe from where it was dangling in Fenrir’s mouth.

‘You know how long it takes for me to get tired now.’

Tony grinned, earning him a scoff.

‘Shut up. I didn’t mean it like that.’

‘Yeah whatever, honey. I did,’ he cooed, pursing his lips into a smooch.

_That_ was promptly ignored, and Tony turned his attention back to the kid.

‘He’s so cute. D’you reckon Loki would let us adopt one? He’s sure got enough.’

‘What do you think?’ Steve deadpanned, although he hitched Fenrir higher on his hip, and smiled as little hands clenched reflexively against the suit.

‘Well it ain’t like we can just have our own. I haven’t got a uterus to pop one out, and unless you’ve been very discreet, I’m pretty sure you haven’t either.’

‘I’m pretty sure the serum didn’t do that,’ he laughed, dampening it down when his burden twitched. ‘But seriously, Tony, just because a child’s adopted doesn’t mean they aren’t their parents’ own.’

He looked away as he said this, and Tony could see why he’d raised his voice a little at the end. Frigga passed by with a painful smile, blanket in hand, and grasped his arm for a moment before moving on. Tony chewed on his lip, biting back an apology.

‘She knows you didn’t mean it like that,’ Steve consoled him. ‘But I agree with her. You know, any kid that we had, biological or not, would be ours, yeah?’

‘Yeah,’ Tony breathed, eyes fixed on the little boy who whimpered in his sleep. ‘Maybe we can talk about all that when we’re not going up against Lord Voldemort and the scaly Death Eaters?’

Steve sniggered.

‘Yeah, okay. After we’ve won.’

‘Fancy putting Short Stop down now?’ Tony asked lightly, pointing to one of the fancy… couches? Did Asgard even have couches? ‘It’s getting late and we’d probably best get some sleep.’

Wordlessly, Steve shifted Fenrir in his arms sideways, so that his head was hooked over one arm and his knees over the other. While the boy murmured in his rest, he settled him down, and drew a blanket over him, catching Frigga’s eye.

‘I’ll look after him,’ she promised, smiling. ‘You boys had best get some sleep. War waits for no one.’

Tony nodded, and with one more smooth of the hair threatening to become Fenrir’s next meal, he took Steve’s hand to leave.

‘C’mon, s’time to- oh.’

The gilded doors swung open to reveal a familiar pair. Faces grim, Thor and Loki strode in, the former carrying yet another dark haired child, though a girl this time.

‘Hey,’ Tony hissed. ‘You alright?’

Loki nodded, seeming weary.

‘I see you have familiarised yourself with my children,’ he drawled, taking the child from Thor and staggering under her weight. Thor followed anxiously, holding a hand out that Loki ignored as he struggled to place her on a chaise longue, dropping her the last inch or so. She stirred, but didn’t wake. With gentle affection that surprised Tony, he swept a thumb over her cheekbone and kissed her forehead, before going round and checking on the children in turn, Thor following him round.

‘Yeah, they’re really cute. Jör has a temper, but I guess he got that from you, Rudolph.’

Loki raised his brow at the familiar nickname, but let it go.

‘Hela does also,’ Thor confirmed. ‘The others seem more sweet-tempered.’

Tony eyed Loki, who snapped, ‘Do not look to me as if for the truth. I know very little of my children.’

‘Sorry,’ Tony swallowed. ‘Steve and I are gonna hit the hay, alright?’

‘Perhaps that is a good idea for us also,’ Thor suggested.

‘I wish to stay here. You will stay?’

Tony pretend-vomited at the moony-eyed look that passed between them.

‘Of course,’ Thor smiled, signalling to a servant to bring them some blankets.

Taking it as their cue to leave, Tony turned, but was stopped by a call of his name. Loki’s face was especially grim.

‘Make sure you sleep well tonight. _He_ is near,’ he shivered, whole body jerking with the force of it. ‘I feel it.’

Tony nodded. ‘You too.’

But the sinking in his stomach as they followed a servant to their room suggested that he would have a longer night than they all hoped.

***********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting these out quicker than expected! Hope you guys enjoy, and, as always, please feel free to check out my Tumblr: http://www.pastmydancingdays.tumblr.com/


	28. Eros

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, darlings: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT in this chapter ;)

_Bjorn was a comfort in these dark times. Though if you’d asked any other of the Aesir, they would be confused as to what you were referring. Asgard was still a marvel, peace (for the most part reigned), and then there was Thor. Thor was golden, Thor **shone** in all the right ways from the hair Loki had never inherited to the boots he had replaced after every battle, and Thor was adored. Loki knelt in the shadow of him, clinging to walls like an unwanted mould, still mistrusted, still second-best. After all these years, Asgard’s favourite son was still perfect, and he?_

_He wanted to be with Thor as in their childhood, but his eyes had begun to pass over him when in a crowd, drowned out by the adulation of his soon-to-be subjects. And when he tried to speak with Thor, he received the same pat on the back, the same charming grin that everyone else received, and Loki wondered. Did he remember the nights they had clung together in the black, frightening and delighting one another with the ghost tales they had heard from the courtiers? Or perhaps the games they had played when they were very small, where they shared the throne, ruled together?_

_Now there were whispers on the streets of a new coronation. The king was getting old, they said, and Thor should take his place. There was never a mention of Loki’s name, not even to curse him. Had he been entirely forgotten?_

_He had dared to hope for an offer when Odin called them to his throne room. Just an offer he could decline – he didn’t want the throne, and the turmoil that would inevitably come with it. Still, that hope was lost when his eyes alighted on Thor alone, braying about his perfect battle record and bravery, the love of the people that Loki had never been able to win. Loki could practically see Thor’s head swell, and his fingers itched to irk, to maim, to play cruel tricks on one so privileged yet so arrogant. He recalled with clarity their father’s past words, about how they were both equally deserving of a throne, and yet even then, Thor hadn’t considered Loki in his fervent, bloodthirsty plans for rule. His head swam as the crown was offered straight to Thor, Odin’s evident love for his first born choking his indignant protests away. He swallowed his anger. It simmered within him anyway. Bjorn wandered in as Thor and Odin spoke, claws clicking on the floor as he ambled over to Loki, who gave his head a stroke._

_‘Get that animal out of here,’ Odin called absently, his attention elsewhere as usual._

_**He or I?** Loki thought._

_He left the throne room with the dog. Nobody noticed._

***********************

The Chitauri soldier watched his commander from the corner of his eye uneasily.

‘M-my Lord?’

He received a contemptuous look in recognition of his bravery.

‘I despise stammering. It is very much akin to cowardice,’ Thanos said softly, running his bony index finger over his sword’s tip. ‘I will not have cowards in my legions. Try again.’

The soldier forced his voice steady. ‘My Lord. I was just wondering when we were going to strike.’

They had been hovering just outside the view of the gatekeeper for a day now, and the armies were getting impatient. Some had even begun to question Thanos’ competence as a leader, but the soldier knew that was a sure-fire way to get your neck broken. Still, a plan wouldn’t hurt. Thanos turned slowly.

‘Are you questioning my judgement?’ he asked, voice low and dangerous.

‘Of course not, my Lord!’ the soldier squeaked. ‘Just- is there anything you want us to do?’

As he considered the lackey before him, his eyes gleamed with a sick kind of glee.

‘We are waiting until night comes,’ he replied lightly. ‘Until all the children of Asgard are asleep in their beds, and then we will swoop, and the realm will be awash with blood. Is that acceptable?’

‘Yes, of course, my Lord!’

‘Right then.’

In one swift movement, Thanos lifted his sword and sliced the soldier’s head from his shoulders. The head rolled, mouth still open, to land at the foot of a servant who tried desperately not to look disgusted.

‘Get me another,’ Thanos drawled. ‘One who does not shake at the very sight of me.’

The servant bowed low and scampered away, trying to conceal his own shaking hands as he clutched a wine chalice.

‘Tonight, boy prince, your world will become ashes.’

***********************

The endless drivel of battle plans was making Loki’s head ache. True, he didn’t need to be there, as the consensus had been that he was not yet strong enough to fight, but he daren’t let Thor out of his sight. Who knew how long they had? He had tried (weakly and unsuccessfully) to argue against his planned confinement, but he trusted no one else to look after the children. They gathered at his feet amidst the endless scrolls and diagrams, Hela interjecting with her own tactical suggestions every so often, and Thor thought Loki hadn’t noticed him writing them down. He had. 

‘Sorry!’ Sleipnir cried, a heartbeat before he fell atop one battle map and scattered the wooden men across the floor.

As Thor helped him up and sat him down next to them, Loki noticed Odin’s frown, and shot him a venomous glare, daring him to speak. When his gaze was averted, he felt triumph.

‘That was a terrible plan anyway,’ Jör said loftily, twisting round the head of the figure in his hands.

‘I said that!’ Hela complained. ‘You copied me!’

‘Did not!’

‘Yes, you did. _I_ ran a kingdom, you-’

‘Now, now, sweetlings,’ Loki interrupted, quieting them instantly. ‘We’ve enough battles outside this room.’

Jör opened his mouth, but let it fall shut in response to Thor’s mouthed ‘enough’, face twisting petulantly. Still, he got to his feet and scrambled into Thor’s lap, sending a smug grin towards his sister, who merely rolled her eyes. Thor endured it in silence, passing a hand over his head as he talked over the top of it.

‘Must the children be here?’ one commander asked snottily, eyeing Vali with distaste.

‘You forget your place!’ Loki snapped. ‘My children have spent the majority of their lives cast out by the will of the idiots in this palace, and therefore you will indulge me!’

The ensuing silence lasted longer than was salvageable, the commander having averted his gaze to the mountain of notes before them. Thor stood and stretched his back, taking a giggling Jör with him.

‘Perhaps it is time for a break,’ he suggested. ‘There is no use in going over and over the same things when we haven’t the energy to take them in. Maybe some lunch is in order.’

Loki cocked his head at Fenrir, who lay head on arm across the table from him. ‘Food?’

‘Yes, please.’

‘There’s my polite boy. A lot more well-mannered than you were at that age,’ he directed towards Thor.

‘Oh, as if you were any better!’ Thor crowed, holding a hand out to Sleipnir, still in his chair. ‘Right, come on then, you.’

As he lifted the boy, he went to put Jör down, who protested with a degree of drama that rivalled his father’s.

‘I’ll have you know, I’m a prince, not a pack-horse,’ he huffed as he carried them both anyway.

‘No,’ Fenrir said absently, as he clutched Loki’s hand. ‘You’re Other Daddy.’

Thor was stunned speechless for a moment, but quickly recovered, turning his face from Loki’s wild grin.

‘Sounds about right,’ Hela chirped, dragging Vali along with her.

Thor was still struggling to absorb his new title when they entered the feasting hall to be greeted by the other Avengers, who already had food in front of them.

‘Where is Doctor Banner?’ he asked, as he deposited the children in adjacent chairs, making sure everyone had access to food before he reached for the roast boar.

‘With your head guard,’ Natasha smirked, delicately picking at some chicken. ‘Didn’t catch his name, but they’re spending a lot of time together.’

Right on cue, Bruce ambled in, head down and cheeks a predictable red as they all stared. He sat and when Vali didn’t turn his gaze away, smiled at him.

‘Are you going to marry Sölvi?’ he asked through his potatoes.

Bruce choked on his drink, and Loki’s snap of ‘Don’t speak with your mouth full!’ coincided with Tony’s ‘Yeah, are you going to marry Sölvi?’

He glared at the latter, before turning back to the child.

‘No, Vali. Sölvi is my friend.’

‘That’s what you’re calling it these days?’ Clint snickered, earning him a discreet smack from Natasha.

‘Fun times. Hey, how’s your planning going?’ Tony asked.

‘Laboriously,’ Loki replied flatly, as he tried to coax Fenrir to eat some vegetables. ‘We’re just going over the same things again and again, just waiting for the first attack. And it will be soon.’

He turned his attention to the children.

‘To bed early tonight. We must snatch sleep when we can.’

Surprisingly, not one of them argued.

The afternoon dragged much as the morning had, and after such a long, boring day, it took much coaxing to rouse the children even for their supper. But all ended up fed (perhaps not nutritionally), and asleep in the room across from them that Loki had eventually agreed to leave them in.

‘Do you think they-‘

‘They will be fine, Loki,’ Thor laughed gently, one large thumb stroking a sharp cheekbone. ‘They are only across from the hall from us if they are in need.’

They lay on their sides facing one another, in what used to be Thor’s room. Thor had suggested they sleep in Loki’s old room, but even the thought of it brought back painful memories that quickened his heart and hurt his chest. The idea was duly abandoned. In the lamplight, Thor looked more golden than ever, and Loki couldn’t resist bringing his own hand up, first to rest lightly over the one on his face, then to twist its way into the hair that splayed over his shoulder. When Thor’s mouth opened as if to speak, Loki covered it gently with a finger that was then pulled inwards. With eyes half-lidded, Thor scraped his teeth against the pad of the finger and let his mouth go slack, allowing Loki to drag it out across his dry lip, then down his chin, neck and torso, until it rested along with his hand on Thor’s robed stomach. Loki fisted the fabric, tugging and urging Thor closer to him so that they were breathing one another’s air, and gazed up at him through lowered eyelashes. He wasn’t going to make the first move – not this time. Thor smiled, sliding his own hand down to slip inside Loki’s robe and rest on the small of his back, fingers massaging his spine with a firm confidence that made him shiver in delight, igniting something in him that he hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

‘All these years,’ he remarked thickly. ‘We have wasted all these years.’

In response, he felt Thor’s lips curve from where his head had fallen to rest against his shoulder.

‘But now we have the rest of our lives.’

It was muttered into his skin, then those lips pulled away and he mewled, kittenish. There was little time to be embarrassed, as with the ghost of a smile, they pressed against his own with fervour, angling against him. He sucked in a sharp breath through his nose, letting his eyes fall shut and their graceless limbs tangle together. It seemed Thor was trying to suck his soul out (albeit pleasurably), so with a gentle press to his chest, Loki regained control, alternately peppering chaste kisses across his willing mouth, and diving in for slow, wet exploration of that which should have been his centuries ago. In a sudden wave of possession, he gripped Thor’s arms and toppled him onto his back, ripping his lips away to gasp in some air, before launching straight back into the kiss, arching into the hands that squeezed his thighs as he settled over him. The first stirrings of arousal began in him, rippling out from his groin, and when he bent over Thor, chest to chest, stomach to stomach, he could feel the same burgeoning excitement. As he dragged his tongue across the ridged roof of his mouth, Thor jerked upwards, and he opened his eyes to those burning electric blue, and shortly found himself lying on his back underneath him.

‘Well, someone’s eager,’ he gasped, displaying his neck for Thor’s heated kisses.

‘Look who’s talking,’ Thor replied, as he sucked another mark into the pale skin, red soon to bloom purple.

‘Mmm, _ah!_ You have a point.’

But when his neck had been thoroughly ravished, and Thor’s mouth reached his collarbone, he sat back on his haunches, and fingered the fabric of his robe in a silent question. Loki nodded, eyes fixed to the outline of his cock that strained against his pants. He wanted to touch it. Should he ask? He’d never been so keen, and yet so nervous, but of course, he’d never let Thor know that. Instead, he lay impassively as Thor’s fumbling fingers pulled open the tie on his robe, revealing the shirt and trousers that were underneath. And as he went to lift up the shirt, his hands were shaking so badly that Loki felt the need to cradle them within his own for a moment, kissing the trembling flesh in the hope of calming him.

‘It is only me,’ he whispered.

Those hands, those _wonderful_ hands divested him of his clothing, until he was bare but for his underwear.

‘This doesn’t seem fair,’ he said breathlessly, his own hands reaching for the openings of Thor’s clothing. He was allowed to discard the unneeded fabric, fingers hooking in the linen beneath and pulling it off before there could be any complaints. Bare and hovering above him, Thor preened like the peacock he was, the most confident of smirks adorning his face.

‘Am I meant to be impressed?’ Loki purred, though his eyes drifted downwards.

‘Are you not?’ Thor returned, sighing in jest. ‘Well, I’ll just have to take care of this myself then.’

Hand curling around an admittedly impressive erection, he shifted out of Loki’s reach and began to stroke, a heated groan tumbling from his open mouth. Quick as lightening, Loki shot forward, slapping his hand away.

‘Off!’ he scolded, as if reprimanding a child reaching for sweets. His own hand replaced Thor’s, grip tightening to the edge of pain. ‘This… is mine. _You are mine._ Understand?’

He dragged his thumbnail softly over the head, revelling in the precome that wet it.

‘As if I was ever anything but,’ Thor gasped, reaching for and tearing off Loki’s underclothes. 

‘Not so rough,’ he said lightly, when he was manhandled back against the pillows, his arms nevertheless hooking round Thor’s neck to pull him down for a lazy kiss, lips sliding together with no goal. Again, those lips removed themselves to descend, trailing down to his chest where they latched around a nipple, suckling in a way that sent a pleasant shiver up his spine. He hissed when teeth came into the equation, tugging in irritation on the hair he’d tangled his hands into. As if in apology, he felt a tongue lave over the area, again, and again, until he was over-stimulated and whimpering, his own hand sliding over to fiddle with its neglected twin. The hand was almost immediately pushed away, the torture beginning anew on this other side, and for a moment, Loki marvelled at his patience. Before he was distracted again, that is. Thor’s mouth began to descend once more, tongue dipping into his navel, pressing hot kisses into his stomach, and perhaps inadvertently, his hands curled around the back of Loki’s thighs to cradle his backside. He stiffened in an entirely different way, joints locking and breath catching in some terrible muscle memory. Thor’s ministrations stilled, his hands returning to be held up in surrender.

‘You are alright, my love. I will stop,’ he said quickly, already moving away.

‘No!’ Loki cried, catching his wrist. ‘No, I’m fine, I just- not _that._ I can’t, not now.’

Gentle arms enveloped him, and gentle eyes fixed on his.

‘Not now, not ever, I care not.’

And that was that. He stared in disbelief, unable to halt the trembling in his limbs.

‘You would put up with not bedding me… forever?’

‘Am I not bedding you?’ Thor asked. ‘There are many ways to bed someone, and contrary to popular belief, I have some restraint.’

Loki, to his horror, found himself blinking back tears, and shoved his face into the juncture between Thor’s neck and shoulder to hide them.

‘Can we still- I want… I _want.’_

‘Of course,’ Thor breathed, understanding like he always understood, sliding his way out from underneath Loki’s arms. He returned to his earlier position, sucking on the tender skin in the apex between thigh and groin, and Loki whined, urging him on with insistent hands. His urgency was met with a bright grin, before Thor rested his hand on his inner thigh, and let his thumb just touch his cock, playing with the foreskin.

 _‘Thor,’_ Loki growled, and apparently taking pity, Thor wrapped his hand around the shaft and began to gently pump, making the knot in Loki’s stomach tighten all too fast. The movements of his hips matched the pattern of Thor’s hand, and he moaned as his thumb circled the head, thigh muscles cording in anticipation. But just as he was on the edge, the hand disappeared, and he let out a sob of frustration, half-mad with desire. Thor kept his questing fingers away, and wisely bent forward and took him into his mouth. Loki cried out, driving upwards into the warm and wet, catching out of the corner of his unfocused eyes Thor’s hand moving to pleasure himself.

‘Thor,’ he moaned, as his tongue traced the underside of his cock. Hands grasped for purchase somewhere, anywhere, and one ended up in Thor’s hair, the other grasping the blankets in a death grip as he writhed. One more tug on the golden hair, and those eyes were watching him in half-lidded pleasure, and he locked onto them in desperation as the sucking got harder and Thor groaned, sending vibrations up his cock, and he was closer, and closer, and gone. He arched upwards, mouth falling open in a silent scream as he came in long, hot spurts, shuddering in pleasure. When he came back to himself, the first thing he noticed was the cording muscles in Thor’s neck, and he reached for them in momentary confusion. But from the frantic movement of his arm, it soon became apparent that pain wasn’t causing the tension. Boneless, he smiled, and urged Thor upwards until he could reach him, batting his hand away and offering his own for him to fuck. Thor grunted, bracing himself on Loki’s raised knees and snapping his hips forward into the tight circle his fingers had formed.

‘Yes, darling,’ Loki crooned. ‘You’re doing so well.’

With almost every thrust forward, the head of his cock brushed Loki’s spent one, making him shudder. Thor growled his name, his rhythm becoming jerky and inconsistent, until, finally, he spent himself, semen striping across Loki’s dick and stomach, grunting in pleasure as Loki’s hand milked him dry. Fierce lips caught his as he let go and wiped his hand on the blankets, Thor blindly wiping away the mess on his body using another corner.

‘You are amazing,’ Thor said between kisses.

Loki was inclined to agree, though he felt he should reciprocate.

‘You’re not so bad yourself,’ he smiled, then, more softly. ‘I love you.’

He heard Thor’s breathing catch, felt it in his chest. He was shifted until he lay facing surprisingly watery eyes.

‘As I love you,’ Thor smiled, his bottom lip trembling ever so slightly.

Loki reached out to steady it, receiving a kiss to the pad of his finger for his troubles.  
‘Enough of the histrionics,’ he mock-scolded. ‘We may be at war tomorrow.’

Thor’s face grew grave, and his grip on Loki tightened.

‘You will do as I ask?’ It was more of a statement than a question, but he nodded anyway.

‘I wouldn’t risk the children for anything. Now sleep. We’ll need it.’

He turned over onto his other side and took most of the blankets with him, huffing as Thor curled himself around him and wormed an arm underneath his ribcage.

‘Stop squirming,’ came the whisper, and though he wanted to argue, he found he no longer had the energy. 

Still, he settled his full weight on that arm out of spite.

***********************

Bruce, despite all his efforts, couldn’t sleep. There were no pills here to take, plenty of alcohol (though he rarely indulged), but the war looming drove out any possibility of drinking himself into unconsciousness. Out of ideas, he reluctantly threw on his clothes and left his room, aiming for one of the balconies. He stumbled his way past endless pillars and through endless archways until he saw moonlight, and followed it. The cool air was welcome on his overheated skin. He’d thrown on a shirt but it wasn’t buttoned, and the breeze made the fabric ripple against him. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes, groping for the stone barrier ahead and leaning against it as he tried to clear his head.

‘Are you well?’

No such luck. His eyes snapped open and found his concerned intruder.

‘I-I’m fine, Sölvi,’ he spluttered, shaking hands diving for his shirttails and mismatching buttons.

A hand shot out to still his. He hadn’t realised he was so close.

‘There is no need,’ Sölvi assured quietly. ‘Truly.’

He let his hands drop to his sides, shoving them behind his back before he could start fidgeting. Sölvi was dressed in his shining armour, pale hair shining in the moonlight, and Bruce felt woefully inadequate next to him.

‘How are you?’ he squeaked, flinching at the sound of his own voice.

‘I am well also,’ Sölvi smiled, inching closer. ‘The children are safely in their beds, and so now are the princes. Although, when I was stationed outside their room earlier, they weren’t quite so… subdued.’

Bruce twitched despite himself, and piercing blue eyes alighted on him.

‘You are uncomfortable with the idea of two men…?’ Sölvi frowned.

‘No, no, not at all! It’s just, well, the fact that they grew up as brothers and now they’re together is something to get used to.’

Sölvi grinned.

‘There are stranger things in Asgard.’

‘Yes,’ Bruce breathed. ‘Yes, I’ve heard.’

He was so close now, it would be easy to shift so they would be touching from shoulder to thigh. But while every part of him screamed for that contact, Bruce held back and reached for the barrier to steady himself, accidentally brushing Sölvi’s hand as he did so.

‘Sorry, sorry!’

As he blushed, his hand was enveloped in another, and he looked up in confusion. Sölvi merely smiled, so he let his arm fall limp and his hand be gathered against Sölvi’s chest. There was a long beat of silence, during which he avoided eye contact, until another hand came up to cup his cheek and force it. A thumb ghosted along his cheekbone, and he couldn’t help but let his eyelids flutter shut for a moment. 

‘Bruce, I-’

Sölvi went suddenly rigid, gaze fixing somewhere in the distance.

‘What is it?’

Bruce squirmed round in his hold and squinted, eyes widening in horror as the shapes came into sudden, clear view.

‘Oh my god,’ he rasped. ‘We’ve got to wake everyone.’

***********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I think that's both the longest chapter and maybe the third sex scene I’ve ever written? Anyway, I had to research Norse underwear for you guys. The government spies will be thinking I have some kind of kink. Hope you enjoy, lovelies, and as always, you can catch me here on my Tumblr:
> 
> http://www.pastmydancingdays.tumblr.com/


	29. Infection

_‘Mother,’ Loki croaked. ‘Save him.’_

_He cradled the aged dog in his arms, holding him out to her beseechingly. She turned from her work and pressed gentle hands against the grey fur, and looked up at him with pity in her eyes._

_‘Darling, my magic cannot raise the dead.’_

_He hadn’t cried in years, but it took all his control to force the tears down now._

_‘There is nothing you can do?’ he asked, voice tremulous. ‘Surely-’_

_Her hands shifted from the fur to cover his._

_‘I’m sorry, Loki. You can always get another. I’m sure one of the bitches in the servants’ quarters is whelping.’_

_‘No!’ Loki bit out, clutching the dead dog to his chest. ‘Bjorn was special!’_

_He knew he sounded like a child and hated it, hated the judgemental stares of the ladies maids and his mother’s lack of fuss. Frigga merely nodded, and stepped backwards, half-turning._

_‘Alright. I’m sorry. I must get on with my work,’ she said gently, reaching out to feel some fabrics that had been pushed in front of her by a nameless servant._

_‘Mother,’ Loki choked, desperate. ‘I will hold a funeral for him. Will you come?’_

_‘Loki, he was only an animal…’_

_‘You went to all of Thor’s pets’ funerals! The dogs, the cats, the goldfish for Norns’ sake!’_

_‘Loki,’ Frigga snapped, before her face softened, and she laid her free hand on his arm. ‘I really haven’t the time, what with Thor’s coronation approaching. It’s a trying time for us all, I know, but I haven’t a second to stop the preparations, not one. I’m truly sorry.’_

_Loki’s blood boiled. He struggled to suppress the torrent of words that were fighting to come out, biting his tongue until he could taste iron. Finally, after a long moment of silence, in which Frigga watched him in concern, he bowed stiffly and left with his burden._

_‘Loki!’ came the call from behind him, but he ignored it, legs pumping faster in his haste to get away._

_His eyes brimmed with traitorous tears as he stalked through the palace with Bjorn’s body, fuming. He passed the sparring room on the way to the gardens and shot Thor a hateful look as he preened in front of Sif, muscles shifting deliciously under golden skin. The Warriors Three swarmed around him with swords aloft, dancing back and forth, and laughing as they went. Loki hoped one would be skewered, if only to provide a little entertainment. How was it that this idiot, this slack-jawed, brainless idiot, could be the one to be crowned king? It suited, Loki supposed, that he was Father’s carbon copy. Before he could be noticed and mocked for his troubles, he hurried away from the doors and out into the gardens, shooing away a groundskeeper that approached._

_‘Leave me be,’ he ordered, trying valiantly to keep his voice from cracking. ‘Just get me a shovel and leave me be.’_

_One was handed to him almost immediately, and he checked as the man left to make sure there was nobody else in the surrounding area. When he was sure he was alone, he lay the dog on the soil and began to dig. He wasn’t used to manual work, and before long, his back ached and his palms were sore, but he endured. Bjorn deserved that, at least. Eventually, there was a hole deep enough, and he got down on his hands and knees to awkwardly lower the body into it. He remained on his knees by the graveside, wanting to say something, but he felt silly on his own. Instead, he spoke in his head, asking for Bjorn’s safe passage to the land of the dead, and for his eternal peace. As he did so, he couldn’t suppress his tears, and thanked the Norns he’d sent everyone away. He was always alone anyway, so why should he not grieve alone? Perhaps Mother had done him a favour by refusing to come. Later, much later, the sun began to lower in the West, and Loki knew that someone, whether Thor, an advisor, or a servant would be sent soon to find him._

_‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered to the dog, taking up the shovel again to cover him. While he worked, the tears dried into salt tracks on his face, and he suppressed the grief. He would bury it with Bjorn. Fury overtook him, and he let it, seeping viscous and poisonous through his veins. Thor the undeserving, Thor the ungrateful, Thor the arrogant. He’d show him._

_**‘Sentiment,’** he hissed, dropping the shovel and along with it, his past self._

***********************

Sölvi and Bruce raced into the palace, parting ways with a squeeze of the hand and a heavy glance, as there was no time for anything else. Waking servants and alerting guards on the way, Sölvi arrived at the princes’ room and hammered on the door, immediately sending a guard to be with the children.

‘My lords!’ he shouted. ‘War has come! We are invaded!’

The door was wrenched open by a half-dressed Thor, who ushered Sölvi inside to explain further. Loki listened intently as he threw on appropriate attire, then ran to check on the children half way through. Despite the fact that they had not been deliberately woken, they had obviously been roused by the noise, and Vali rushed to him in tears.

‘Hush now,’ he soothed, heaving him up onto his hip as he tied his robe haphazardly. ‘All will be well. We have prepared for this.’

He barely believed his own words, and worry gnawed at him, settling in his stomach and the set of his jaw. When he had ascertained everyone’s wellbeing, he hovered in the doorway with Vali still aloft until Thor and Sölvi emerged, wearing both battle armour and grim expressions. Thor’s gaze immediately locked onto him, his face softening.

‘Are the children awake?’ he asked, a forced grin appearing on his face as Vali watched him sleepily.

‘Obviously,’ Loki replied tightly, trying to regulate his tone. Streams of soldiers, guards, and panicked servants rushed between them, to-and-fro with an urgency Loki had never before seen. ‘I wish I could-’

He broke off in frustration, trying to communicate it through his gaze. Thor nodded.

‘I know. But I daren’t risk it. I daren’t risk you. And I trust few others to care for the children.’

Vali’s hand tightened reflexively, and Loki wondered if he understood in his half-conscious state. He swallowed hard, pale throat bobbing as he hitched the boy up with difficulty.

‘Nor do I,’ he replied resigned. ‘Just don’t get yourself killed, you oaf. You are needed here.’

He didn’t want to say anything else in front of half his household, but he nonetheless hoped that Thor understood. But, of course, Thor had never been embarrassed in his wretched life. He strode across the hallway, parting people like the Red Sea, and grasped Loki’s face in large hands.

‘I care little for the opinions of others,’ he murmured, before leaning in for a kiss that wasn’t exactly public-appropriate, though Loki accepted it all the same. 

Thor leant his forehead against Loki’s for a long moment. ‘Look after our children. Look after yourself. I _will_ win this, and come back to you.’

That assurance would have to be enough for now, as Sölvi began to shift, and he knew they had no time left. He nodded fiercely and tipped his head back. Thor’s hands slid from his face as he joined the sea of warriors.

***********************

‘Guys!’

An out of breath Bruce sprinted down yet another unremarkable corridor towards where he thought his friends had been placed.

‘Bruce, what the hell?’ Tony yawned, sticking his head out of a door Bruce had already passed. Bruce skidded and turned on his heel, ignoring the angry protests of Clint coming from the adjacent room.

‘It’s started,’ he projected, effectively silencing the bitching from all directions.

Tony was nudged out of the way by Steve, who was miraculously already dressed in his suit.

‘Have- have you been wearing that all night?’ he asked, distracted.

‘Probably using it in their sex games,’ Clint butted in, having hopped out of his room trying to put his boot on. ‘God, you guys are loud.’

‘Jealous?’ Tony smirked.

Natasha emerged after Clint, face stoic. ‘Irritated more like. Now shut up. Bruce?’

She raised her eyebrow in obvious cajolement, and Bruce hurried to explain.

‘Sölvi and I saw ships flying towards us, God knows why Heimdall didn’t, but maybe he did and just didn’t have time to warn- anyway, that’s not important. We’re needed. Now.’

And without another word, he strode away, leaving them to scramble into their clothing and follow him from this maze. Anxiety began to nag at him, which was a strangely novel feeling when going off to fight. He knew without a doubt he was going to live, of course, because _Lord,_ how he’d tried to die, but there was no such guarantee for his friends, for the royal family, for… for Sölvi. Bruce shook his head wildly, angry at himself. This wasn’t the time to think about it – _no_ – there was never a time to think about it. He’d met him two days ago, for God’s sake, and no matter how much he yearned for those lips on his, that perfect skin under his hands, and that hair sliding through his fingers, it couldn’t happen. He was an abomination. Tainted.

‘Brucey! Don’t look so maudlin!’

Bruce jumped as Tony clapped his iron hands on his shoulders, forcing his knees to buckle before he regained his footing. He glared into the distance, refusing to turn round.

‘We’re going to war, Tony. This isn’t playtime.’

‘He knows that, Bruce,’ Steve chided quietly from behind. ‘It’s just the way he deals with things.’

There was a pause, before, ‘Yeah, I know. Sorry.’

‘What’s got you in a state anyway? You’re normally quite chilled before we set out.’

Bruce chewed on his cheek as he considered what to say.

‘There’s just so much more to lose now,’ he mumbled, unwilling to broadcast his thoughts to the whole team. ‘We’re up against a titan.’

‘It’s not as if we haven’t had the odds stacked against us before,’ Steve reminded him as they entered the courtyard one battalion was assembling in, row on row of steel soldiers with sword and shield in hand. Bruce nodded in acknowledgement, but it didn’t stop his stomach churning, and as he sidled up to whom he thought was Sölvi beneath all that armour, he couldn’t stop his voice from trembling.

‘H-hey.’

Sölvi’s visor came up, and he smiled when he’d clocked who it was.

‘Hello, yourself,’ he greeted, before the smile disappeared and his face contorted. ‘You look… nervous. Do you fear the battle? It would not be shameful.’

‘No, I-I’m not worried for myself, Sölvi, I can’t die. I’m worried for my friends, for Asgard, a-and for you.’

‘You cannot die?’ he asked, eyebrows raised. ‘On what basis can you tell me this?’

Bruce struggled in his silence for a moment, hands fidgeting with his shirt.

‘I’ve... tested it,’ he eventually blurted, flushing crimson, and averting his gaze.

One gauntleted hand came to rest on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

‘All will be well, Bruce. I will come back to you, and so will your friends. We are strong.’

It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before, but coming from Sölvi, it eased the tension in him a little. In the distance, there was a faint clamour of sound, and all heads at the front turned, the stillness and silence filtering through the ranks until the only noise originated from outside the borders. Bruce nodded in turn to the others, where they’d stationed themselves in the front ranks, out of place amongst the sea of silver and gold. Only Clint and Tony really responded, Steve with shield already aloft staring intently ahead, and Natasha checking her weaponry in an almost mechanical fashion. He prayed to any and all gods that everyone would make it out alive. He leant over to Sölvi to whisper in his ear.

‘Don’t be scared of me when I change.’

He ignored the quizzical look he got in return and moved away to the edge of the group, from where he could now see the approaching invaders as a wall of murky brown, eerie battle cries making the hair stand up on his neck. A bubble of hysterical laughter rose in him as he looked from one army to the other, feeling like a Lord of The Rings extra, but he suppressed it. Taking a deep breath in, he allowed the noise to wash over him, unlocking the rage inside him that remained in perpetuity. Soldiers backed away as his skin changed colour and he grew both in height and girth, mind switching to the animalistic. Sölvi stared, exchanging a glance with Thor who grinned as the Hulk roared, causing a few of the now visible enemy to stumble. Thor turned to his men.

‘Soldiers! All those hours sparring, all those practice runs in Vanaheim – _this_ is what it has been leading up to! There is nothing of more import than protecting our home, our lands, and our families! Know that you are the last defence between your children and these monsters! We will not let them win!’

As they cheered, Thor squinted to each side, noting Sif leading one battalion and his father another. He raised his hammer, and his men responded in kind.

‘For Asgard!’ he yelled, hearing the answering cries of his own and other battalions, and ran into the battlefield, followed by his friends. Despite the torches held aloft, Tony was concerned that they would end up killing more of each other than the enemy. Lucky then, that he had a trick up his sleeve. Kicking off the floor, he soared over the sprinting masses, and let fly a number of bots, which spread out, glowing nova white.

As the soldiers stared upwards in awe, he grinned, yelling down, ‘Let there be light!’

***********************

_Nasty little bastards._

Tony had armed himself with as many explosives, extra gadgets and weapon add-ons as he could, but it didn’t seem to be touching the sides, what with the endless streams of shrieking bilge rats that poured from the ships and slammed into the front lines. The way they skittered over even the bodies of their fellows was reminiscent of The Walking Dead, only these bastards could run, and talk, apparently, even though he doubted the sounds emitting from their mouths could be considered language. Pulling himself up from the battlefield for a breather, he searched for Steve and his friends as he shot vaguely into the masses. The Hulk wasn’t the hardest to clock, sweeping through the Chitauri forces like a child wading his way through a paddling pool, huge green fists sweeping down to alternately crush a number of them together and bat them dozens of metres away. Steve, too, was pretty inconspicuous, and he flew over to help him out.

‘Hey, sweetums,’ he grinned as he landed next to him and took out a dozen in one fell sweep.

‘You alright?’ Steve shouted while knocking out a few with his shield.

‘Yeah, honey. Don’t get killed, okay? I’m gonna go help Clintasha out.’

His parting gesture was a blast that left a sizeable area clear around Steve, but for the odd, twitching limb. Despite having started out heading separate groups of soldiers, Clint and Natasha, were, as ever, by each other’s side.

‘Yo, Legolas, Nat, how’re you doing?’

‘Fine,’ Natasha gritted out, shooting a couple down before going for the neck of another. 

Clint took a little longer to answer as he sent one of his depleting number of arrows into the skull of a Chitauri grunt.

‘Gonna run out soon, but I’ve got a gun. And things have got better since the blue guys turned up.’

He pointed towards a veritable wall of Jötuns, steadily encroaching on the Chituari territory with spears in hand.

‘Holy shit, when did they get here?’ he asked, marvelling at the way they bulldozed through legion upon legion.

‘Dunno. Ten minutes ago? Thirty? I’ve got better things to do than clock-watch,’ Clint snarled, shaking one off as it clawed at his boot.

Tony winced at the snap of a neck behind him, and turned to see Natasha staring straight at him.

‘We’re fine, Stark, just go and help Thor’s guys out. They look like they’re drowning.’

And a quick search confirmed it; though Thor was naturally battering Chitauri left, right and centre, his own soldiers were going down like death was a trend. With a quick nod to both, Tony took himself over there, punching out several of the creatures that surrounded Thor’s head guard and pulled at his arm.

‘Bruce’d kill me if I left you like that,’ he laughed breathlessly, launching a grenade into a distant throng.

‘Thank you,’ Sölvi grimaced, holding his left shoulder. ‘I am lucky I lift my sword with the other.’

Tony snorted, blasting away a few of the nearer invaders. ‘Lucky’s debatable, pal. D’you think you need it fixing now?’

He received only an incredulous look in reply, and though it was obviously painful judging by the sweating and the agonised groan, Sölvi heaved his sword back up.

‘I will leave this battle either in victory or in death,’ he swore, decapitating one soldier, then stabbing another through his chest.

‘And what about Bruce?’ Tony countered, electrocuting a whole row at once. ‘You think he’ll be okay with that?’

There was a pause, which Tony supposed could be explained by the arrows beginning to fly in their direction. The Aesir toppled like dominoes, Sölvi narrowly being saved by the shield he’d thrown in front of his face seconds before the barrage hit. Shouting in frustration, Tony detached and let fly a piece of his suit, which exploded on impact with the horde. He heard a roar nearby, and found Thor, alone, playing Whack-a-Mole with his hammer.

‘Just think about it, alright?’ he said to Sölvi, whose men were starting to regroup. ‘I’m gonna go talk to Thor.’

But Sölvi was too busy stabbing to answer. Cutting a path through the bodies beginning to pile up in grotesque hillocks, Tony was relieved to find someone with no overwhelming problems. Thor beat the Chitauri away like particularly irritating flies, eyes not even on his attackers as he surveyed the battlefield, face as grim as Tony had ever seen it.

‘You could have been a baseball champ, pal,’ Tony remarked, settling beside him as he decided to use his hands for a while. He ignored the annoying _plink-plink-plink_ of arrows bouncing off his suit, assuming a perfect bitchface that, unfortunately, nobody could see through his mask.

‘As so often occurs, I have no idea what you are talking about.’

Thor seemed marginally more concerned by one weapon-free creature that had attached itself to his leg. Although limbless apart from one arm, it had still decided to attack by gnawing at the fabric of Thor’s pants, muffled growling coming from its mouth. Thor bent to forcibly remove it, having cleared the area of all other living Chitauri, and let it fly. Both watched it sail, only to be impaled on one of its comrades’ spears.

‘Ouch. Hey, maybe you’ll turn into one,’ Tony smirked, pointing at the teeth marks imprinted into leather.

‘Friend Stark, again I-’

‘I’ll explain later, buddy.’

They stood for a moment in the safe zone, Thor getting his breath back, and watching legions on both sides fall. In the interim, Tony stuck his arm out and lasered a few in the worst affected areas.

‘We’re doing better than expected,’ he offered, watching Thor raise his hammer once more, and followed him down into the fray.

‘At the moment yes,’ Thor answered, throwing himself back into the fight. ‘But that is not what I am most concerned about.’

About to lift off to find Steve again, Tony settled, confused. And then it dawned on him.

‘Holy shit. Where the heck is Thanos?’

***********************

The children huddled around him in the near-total darkness, unable to sleep as the floor trembled with the force of distant explosions, and the death throes of thousands echoed as one through the palace. Loki had wanted to keep things as normal as possible, but as the encroaching chitter of the Chitauri horde grew in both pitch and volume, he decided that that was no longer viable. If Sleipnir and Fenrir clinging to him like oversized limpets was the price he’d have to pay, then so be it. He pulled them even closer as the room rocked with the force of another blast, soothing Fenrir’s terrified whimper with a gentle hand through his hair.

‘Mother,’ he whispered, ‘are they well?’

Odin had insisted on Frigga staying with Loki and the children, and for once, Loki agreed with him. His mother was undeniably strong, and well-trained, but she was not experienced in battle, and rather selfishly, Loki thought, she would be another protector for the children if it came to it. She sat nearby in the black, Vali in her lap and Jör nearby, trying to pretend that he wasn’t afraid, but hooking a finger in her sleeve nonetheless.

‘Yes,’ she whisper-laughed in reply. ‘As they were five minutes ago.’

‘You cannot blame me for worrying,’ he barked, then regretting the volume of his voice when Sleipnir jumped.

Only Hela seemed unaffected. He could see her outline vaguely, eyes glinting, but also her dagger, which she swung like a pendulum as she paced the room. In normality, he supposed, this might be disturbing, but Hela was used to being on the offensive in difficult situations. Was the battle drawing closer, or was he imagining it? Certainly the clash of metal seemed to be approaching, and Loki froze, eyes locking onto his daughter’s, when there came a scream from within the palace.

‘Daddy?’ Fenrir whined, as another man shouted in alarm, and Loki got to his feet.

‘Listen to me, all of you!’ he hissed. ‘I need everyone to stay here with Grandmother, silently. Do you understand?’

Of course, there was a chorus of questions and complaints. He clapped sharply to halt them.

‘Loki, I will go-’

‘No!’ he cut in. ‘Mother, I need you to stay here and protect my children. I will draw him off. You know it is him, and I could not bear him to be within reach of my own. Please.’

Her silence implied her assent. Little hands grabbed at him, and he gently detached each one after a squeeze. He couldn’t see them in the dark, but he could hear crying, and he prayed that they would stay quiet despite their fear.

‘I will be back, my loves. Do not worry. But you must be quiet as a mouse – without the squeaking.’

He turned to leave, but was halted by the cool press of metal into his hand.

‘Take this,’ his daughter whispered. ‘My dagger will protect you.’

He thumbed her cheek in thanks, leaning down to whisper in Frigga’s ear. ‘Do what you must to keep them quiet. I will not be angry if there are charms involved.’

He felt her nod, flaxen hair brushing against his cheek as he straightened. There was no more time. The cries of fear and pain got nearer and nearer, and Loki was sure that if he listened hard, he could hear the snap of bone. He flew from the room, yanking the nervous guards inside to replace him by their collars.

‘You protect my family with your lives,’ he snarled, so close to one that he could taste the mint on his breath. He left no room for a reply, shutting the door firmly in their faces, and dashing down corridor after empty corridor until he was far enough away that he felt his children’s lives weren’t threatened by his mere presence. And yet, he feared. There were no more screams, no more slick break of bone, only heavy, purposeful footsteps that echoed through the empty halls, devoid of those who had run to escape the monster. For a moment, he was reminded of the childhood games of hide and seek he had played with Thor, the way he knew he’d been found by the clatter of boots on stone that sounded in sync with his hammering heart. And with that memory came the sudden urge to run before he was caught, to find a better hiding spot in which he could ride out the storm. But to abandon his children? Never.

Either way, he was out of time. Loki swallowed convulsively, fingers tightening white-knuckled on the hilt of the dagger concealed in his robes as the thumping footsteps reached the door at the end of the corridor. With aching slowness, he heard the latch lift and hinges squeak as the door creaked open. Staring at the floor, attempting not to tremble, the heavy boots whose movements had echoed so came into his field of vision.  
With deliberate calm, he looked up into the face that haunted his dreams. The corners of a rotting mouth curled upwards.

‘Hello boy-prince,’ Thanos purred. ‘Have you missed me?’

***********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy, another chapter - can I get a pat on the back? Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy because this is definitely the last part you're getting until my exams are done in 2 weeks! And, if you do, feel free to check out my [Tumblr](http://pastmydancingdays.tumblr.com/) here!


	30. Visceral

_‘Loki! Wait!’_

_He stiffened, and stayed his feet, pushing back the fury that was inspired by that voice. He had run off before all the courses had been served, already feeling miserable as Odin toasted Thor for the twelfth time, spilling his cup of mead. It wasn’t the only to be spilled, of course. The court was filled with animals. Thor never refused an offer of food, so Loki had thought himself to be safe to slip away without attracting attention. Apparently not._

_‘Nervous, brother?’ he asked, mouth twisting sourly as he remained facing away from him._

_‘Nervous? Whatever have I to be nervous about?’_

_When Thor caught up, his greeting involved a resounding slap to the back that sent him pitching forwards, stumbling to regain his balance. The acidic glare he threw Thor in response was enough to make him flinch, so he muted it ever so slightly. **‘You are the devoted brother’** he reminded himself._

_Once under control, he drawled, ‘Well, you are being crowned tomorrow.’_

_Thor looked uncertain. ‘And? I have nothing to fear. I know I will be a great king.’_

_There was nothing but arrogance in his face and voice, such a sense of grandeur that Loki wondered why the weight of his head hadn’t tipped him over yet._

_‘You are sure of this?’ he questioned, deliberately incendiary._

_Typically, Thor took the bait._

_‘Of course I am! I have won every battle I have ever fought!’_

_So easy to infuriate, to manipulate. Loki marvelled that they would allow Thor his own horse, let alone a kingdom. He raised an eyebrow._

_‘I have been a great prince!’ Thor barked, seeming to swell. ‘And you!-’_

_Loki’s eyes flashed in warning, his own quiet rage visible beneath a thin veneer._

_‘I what?’ he growled, teeth baring._

_But Thor apparently lost his nerve._

_‘Nothing, forgive me. I am not nervous, but perhaps… out of sorts.’_

_Loki bit his tongue ‘til it bled in the effort to keep his venom in. Eventually, he nodded._

_‘If there is nothing else… sire?’ he sneered, veiling it as playful mockery._

_Thor grinned. ‘I have so many plans, Loki, so many battles yet to fight. I shall see you on the morrow.’_

_Loki watched him go with bitter resignation, seeing how he was immediately swept up in a sea of admirers, and he grew ever more resentful. Thor was entitled, vain, and unwise. There was nothing left of the boys they once were._

_Thor would make his preparations. Loki, also._

***********************

With an arid throat, Loki rasped, ‘Like a hole in the head.’

That gained him a dark chuckle, a hand reaching to stroke his face that he jerked away from.

‘You have escaped me twice, Loki. There shall not be a third time.’

Loki stayed silent and watched with caution as Thanos began to pace in front of him, hands punctuating his words theatrically.

‘My armies will soon overwhelm your pitiful forces. They will raze Asgard to the ground, take what they wish from your men and women, enslave the strong, and murder the weak. Now, your family is a different story. I will dispose of your father first, seeing as you hold little affection for him, then your dear mother. Or I may pass her on to my guards for some fun. Then, Thor. He shall have the honour of being broken by me personally, all in view of you, of course. I am not sure yet how his death will come about, but I am sure it will be… _spectacular._ Oh! I almost forgot! Your childr-’

Loki flung his arms out in a rage, and Thanos was catapulted into a wall, stone crumbling around him as he slid down, red painting his skull. Loki laughed as he struggled to his feet with a furious expression, but stopped abruptly when he charged towards him, focusing his attentions on pushing him backwards. Thanos staggered towards him, battling against a force like a gale that slid his feet back on the flagstones, hands grasping for him with fingers splayed wide. His magic reserves had been building since his recovery, but he was still somewhat weak, and he could feel himself slipping. In a final act of desperation, he pushed ever harder, before letting go completely. Like a jammed door suddenly giving way, the invisible shield vanished and Thanos’ residual force sent him flying forwards, skidding face-first into the opposite wall. Loki winced as he heard the tell-tale crunch of bone, cringing slightly as Thanos rolled over and got back to his feet, face mashed and bloody. There was an animalistic roar of rage as the titan lurched towards him, and try as he might, his frantic attempts to yield magic from his fingertips were unsuccessful. One massive fist impacted his stomach and forced him to the floor, cracking his head sharply on the floor. Pain spread like fiendfyre in his ribs, burning him from the inside out, and still Thanos stalked him like a jaguar did its prey.

‘You will pay for your insolence,’ Thanos growled, landing a punch on his chest, then on his face. ‘I will violate you in front of those you love. I will keep you as a pet, slave to my needs, and then when you are truly broken, I will slit your throat, and choose one of your children to take your place.’

Though blow after blow sent him reeling, Loki still had the presence of mind to fumble for the hilt of the knife he had hidden, and ripped it from his side, stabbing Thanos in the neck. He howled, yanking it out in a spray of crimson and threw it away. Loki scrambled to catch it, aware it was likely his only defence now, and held it up in front of him with shaking hands as Thanos kept coming.

***********************

The last of the latest Chitauri battalion to approach dropped, headless, in front of Thor. He wiped the sweat from his face with a piece of his cape he’d torn off, and smiled. Though a significant portion of his soldiers had fallen, it was clear to see that the opposing armies from four worlds were gaining ground, the advantage of greater numbers slowly being negated by superior training and fighting skills. He called out to Sölvi, who had taken a few more hits, and looked dead on his feet.

‘Sölvi, I beg of you, go and get your injuries tended to.’

Through gritted teeth, Sölvi rebuffed him, putting his shoulder back into its socket with a sickening crack.

‘My prince, as I told Anthony Stark, I will leave this battle in victory, or in death, not running like a coward.’

Thor sighed, gaze travelling to the Jötuns currently decimating a group in a dip in the terrain.

‘I don’t suppose I can say anything to convince you?’ he asked, stamping hard on a grasping hand.

Another group poured from a ship ahead like rats from rising sewer waters, but something new drew Thor’s eye, and he didn’t hear Sölvi’s (likely negative) response. The Hulk had begun to stagger amongst the panicking Chitauri, crushing those who didn’t manage to run away in time. There were no visible wounds on him, but as he stumbled closer, Thor could see him begin to shrink, his colour changing, and he realised with horror that Bruce would have nothing to protect himself with when he changed back. Sölvi seemed to have had the same idea, as before Thor could make a move, he was already sprinting down the hill towards their rapidly shrinking friend. Thor followed him, hammer raised. Clever Bruce had made his way out of the densest group of the enemy, but as he finally collapsed to the floor, naked and vulnerably human, he was still surrounded by a few. They were close, but not close enough. Bruce screamed as a sword met his stomach, and though Sölvi cut down his attacker with a bellow of rage, they were too late to prevent the sanguinary flood. Thor stood sentinel over his thrashing friend, hearing each shriek tail off into a groan with a shudder, watching Sölvi knuckle deep in gore. Still they came like vultures circling the dying, and Thor, with vicious force, battered each one.

‘I cannot!’ Sölvi cried, red now painting even his wrists, smeared on his face and in his hair from Bruce’s desperate hands. ‘My prince, I cannot fix this! I do not know how!’

‘Than take him,’ Thor ordered. ‘Take him to the healers!’

With none of the hesitation that had come before, Sölvi carefully gathered a sobbing Bruce into his arms, grimacing at each cry of pain.

‘Cover me,’ he growled at a hovering soldier, hands full.

Thor’s last glimpse of Bruce was a pale hand falling limp by Sölvi’s side.

***********************

One eye was rapidly swelling shut, and Loki kept missing his mark. More often than not, a new punch would connect, despite the swipe of the knife he used to defend himself. The latest jolted his broken ribs, and he howled, tasting iron from his bleeding nose, gums and tongue. Thanos smiled as he bent over him, and Loki bared his teeth in response, vampiric in their red coating. One hand pinned his weaker one, attempting to prise the knife from it, but he drew his knees up to kick him powerfully away, sending him staggering.

‘You cannot do this forever!’ Thanos crowed. ‘You must realise that I have more power than you.’

Loki staggered to his feet, snarling, ‘I, however, would rather die than let you win.’

He lunged forward like a fencer, swiping the blade across his throat. It was a mere flesh wound, but it startled Thanos, who slid one hand over the cut and reached for Loki with the other. Skittering backwards, Loki was caught by the tips of his hair, and sliced them off without a second thought. Thanos was left with a fistful of free strands which he discarded, and charged at Loki like a bull, pinning him against the wall. Loki was unprepared for the painful wrench of teeth in his neck, and kicked roughly at his shins until he was released, sliding down the wall. In a sudden burst of inspiration, he let himself fall, grabbing the meaty leg before him to swipe the knife across the back of Thanos’ booted ankle. From the ensuing screech, he was sure he had cut the Achilles tendon. Grinning, he tried to slip away as Thanos lifted his leg to clutch at it, but he didn’t see the other hand creep towards his throat. With a desperate wheeze, he was pinned off the floor by his neck, dropping his only weapon with a clatter on the flagstones.

‘You will pay for this with your life,’ Thanos barked, spittle flying from his mouth onto Loki’s face.

Loki certainly felt like it, scrabbling ineffectually at the thick fingers with his own, scratching at the flesh. The hand tightened, and he lashed out with abandon, his vision blurring as he struggled for breath. He felt dizzy and weak, but with a final push, he forced his magic out with a groan, the hand opening out to let him fall, gasping. He reached for the knife, catching it at first by the blade which slit his hand, but managed to grasp the handle and plunge it into the frozen leg before him. The charm broke, and Thanos fell, clutching his thigh. With a feral smile, Loki advanced.

***********************

‘Looks like we’re nearly done!’ Steve called happily, as the last Chitauri soldier near him fell. The ships were finally barren, and of those that had emerged in the first wave, there were few remaining. As the Frost Giants slaughtered the remaining large group, spears flashing in the emerging dawn light, the Avengers had assembled, sans Bruce, at the top of a hill overlooking the battlefield. Thor shifted from foot to foot, seeming restless – perhaps even nervous – as he watched the remains of the Chitauri forces succumb to their fate.

‘Thor, what’s the matter?’ Steve asked, flinching as Tony poked at a cut on his arm.

‘I have been waiting for Thanos,’ he replied, scanning the horizon. ‘And now… I fear he is not where I expected. I fear-’

He tried to communicate the end of his sentence with a meaningful look, a dawning sense of horror settling in his gut.

‘Shit, you think he’s at the palace? Go!’ Tony shouted. ‘We can tie things up here!’

Without another word, Thor turned and ran, the eerie quiet of the journey making the hair stand up on the back of his neck. And when he saw the crumpled, broken bodies of the guards slumped by the doors, he knew. He sped up, and he prayed.

***********************

They were locked in an ugly wrestling match, savage and bloody, locked together and struggling to get in a hit in such proximity. Loki let out a cry of frustration as his hands were pinned again, the knife batted out of reach, and kicked repeatedly at Thanos’ shin. It had little effect. It seemed they were at stalemate, rolling around with no free hands to deliver blows, panting with exertion. 

‘By the time we have finished this _game,’_ Thanos snarled, ‘my armies will have razed Asgard to the ground.’

Loki bared his teeth in reply, not wanting to even consider the possibility that their world was lost. He buried the fear under his anger, drew in a breath, and spat in Thanos’ face. Predictably, a hand came up to wipe it away, and in that moment, Loki wrenched his other wrist from his grasp, diving for the elusive knife. When he was inches away, a hand closed around his ankle, and he was dragged backwards, crying out as his face was scraped along the floor. He made another desperate bid for escape, scratching and kicking at those imprisoning hands, but it was in vain. Turned over and manhandled like a doll, he let out a primal scream, hands flinging out to push him away. And, miraculously, in a sudden burst of power, Thanos was across the room again. Loki felt like his whole body was sparking, prickling, painful shocks passing over him, and he wasn’t sure what had happened. But now wasn’t the time for questions. He ran for the knife, snatched it up, and lunged for Thanos. Dazed, Thanos was in no position to defend himself as Loki plunged the knife into his chest over and over, blood bubbling up from the wounds and staining his clothes.

‘Are you in pain?’ he asked cruelly, as his hands were coloured red. ‘I want you to feel pain.’

Loki saw Thanos’ eyes dim, heard the rattle of his breath as it left him, and he stabbed ever harder, blood spraying with each exit of the knife. He could taste it, bitter and more acrid than his own; the metallic tang somehow tainted, rusted, unclean. Still, he continued, knowing that death had already come for him, but he wanted to drown himself in that crimson, feel the lifeblood of a monster drain onto slick skin, and to know that finally, he was free. He dimly heard the door slam open, and a shout of surprise, but he cared not in his red haze. Then there were gentle hands on his shoulders, and a soft, crooning voice in his ear. Those hands slid down to cover his own to still the frenzied spearing, and he let the knife fall onto the ruined chest, tangled his bloodied hands in golden hair, and pulled Thor into a long, life-affirming kiss.

‘You are well?’ he gasped as he wrenched away, eyes flicking over him in concern, and taking note of the tooth marks in his leg.

‘Have you so little concern for yourself?’ Thor asked softly, running light fingers down his tender, swelling face. ‘You must be in pain, my love.’

As if those words alone brought feeling back to him, he was suddenly aching and exhausted, and he flinched away from those questing fingers. His ribs were on fire, and he feared that his ankle was broken, if not shattered.

‘Yes,’ he rasped, blinking hard to keep his drooping eyes open. ‘I am in pain. Thor, the children… help me.’

He shot to his feet, a cry of agony wrenched from his throat as he put weight on his ankle. Thor grabbed for him, and without hesitation, swung him into his arms, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

‘Let me carry you,’ he said, rather uselessly, as he was already striding down the corridor, kicking the double doors open.

For his part, Loki was straining his ribs by sitting up anxiously, craning his neck as they passed through the final door into the corridor in which the children had been left. It was silent, and there seemed to be no damage to the décor, but that told them little. Outside the door, Loki tapped Thor’s arm to stop him moving, drawing the sword from his scabbard and wincing at the metallic scrape of blade on burnished holster. He held it out in front of them, aware that there would be little warning of an attack if there was an enemy in there. His hand grasped the doorknob, and turned it slowly, holding his breath. There was a shriek, and Loki almost jumped from Thor's arms as Fenrir came racing towards them, closely followed by his babbling, crying siblings. Loki dropped the sword and braced for impact. Luckily, Thor’s arm acted as a kind of buffer, latched onto by small fingers, and Loki reached for them all, stroking hair and face and hand, grinning as widely as ever before.

‘Daddy’s hurt!’ Vali cried, poking without thought at his broken ribs.

Noting the ensuing wince, Thor shielded them from further attack, saying quickly, ‘Yes, Daddy is hurt, Vali, so you mustn’t touch him.’

He waded through the children, laying Loki carefully on a chaise longue, and then picked up Sleipnir and Jör, one of whom was struggling to stand, and the other pulling insistently on his hand. He kissed Jör’s temple as their little boy curled into him, and Loki noted in his dazed state that despite the blood, sweat and dirt plastered to his face, Thor had never looked so ravishing. It was only a shame that they were both injured, and in a room full of their children, a parent, and two guards. From over the heads of those huddled against him, Loki smiled thankfully at his mother and the exhausted-looking guards.

‘Thank you for keeping them safe. Thank you so much.’

He dropped his head against Hela’s so they couldn’t see his shining eyes. Frigga’s hand took hold of his chin, forcing eye contact.

‘You never need to thank me for looking after my grandchildren, Loki. Now, about these injuries…’

She put a hand to his face, and the ache dissipated. Loki breathed a sigh of relief, looking down at his ribs in consternation.

‘I suppose my ribs and ankle will have to heal themselves?’

‘Perhaps I can speed up the process,’ she smiled. ‘I believe your magic is now capable of healing you, but you always were terrible at it.’

Loki huffed, but the blessed feeling of the pain in his bones lifting was enough to remove the expression. 

‘It will still be a few days before you are fully healed, so I want you bedridden, do you hear me? Thor, you must keep him there even if you have to bind him.’

While her back was turned, Loki raised an eyebrow suggestively at Thor, who coughed to disguise his embarrassment. The guard next to him pretended he hadn’t seen anything.

‘I must ask, Thor,’ Frigga continued, hesitating. ‘Your father?’

Thor frowned. 

‘I know not. He was out of my sight for the duration. Of our friends, Bruce was injured,’ he told Loki. ‘Sölvi took him to the healers, and I have heard nothing since.’

Loki nodded, face solemn as he let Fenrir clamber onto the chaise longue beside him. He heard a squeak of hinges, and froze as footsteps sounded outside the door, pulling Thor’s sword out again. The babble in the room disappeared, as what must have been a group of people approached. There was a knock on the door, and without confirmation, it swung open to reveal a filthy Steve Rogers.

‘Just thought I should let you know,’ he said breathlessly. ‘We won.’

***********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exams are finished and Dobby is freeeeeee! For the most part, anyway. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter - the next is the final one - and feel free to check out my [Tumblr](http://pastmydancingdays.tumblr.com/)!


	31. Sempiternal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT
> 
> For my last message to you guys, see below :)

_Loki had woken early, earlier even than most of the servants involved in the coronation. The sparse few that were going about their duties, yawning, stared at him as he wandered aimlessly through the corridors, finally settling on one of the balconies. The sun was beginning to rise, the sky shot with colour, and Loki remembered how fascinated he had been by the rainbow painted across the sky as a child. When you had seen a thousand years, even the dawn became tainted by mediocrity. He shivered in the early morning breeze, having abandoned his cloak to the washerwoman in preparation for the ceremony, the smell of freshly baked bread rising from the courtyard below and making his stomach ache with want. Feet shifting, he displaced a fine spray of gravel, which skittered through a gap in the bars and fell to the ground in a small dust cloud. The servants looked up at him with hands shielding their eyes, faces more curious than angry. Perhaps it was too early for hostility. Or perhaps they simply could not see him, for the rising sun was alighting on the gilt and glass of the palace, stinging his tired eyes. He closed them, basking in its warmth, and hating himself for it. Wasn’t it always the way with Loki and that which was golden?_

_He clenched his hands hard around the metal bar in front of him until he felt tremors run through his fingers, bone pushing obscenely through his skin at the knuckles, and considered for the final time the magnitude of what he was going to do. There was still time to run to his father and tell him everything, to beg for forgiveness and be punished for it. The weaker side of him wanted to bow to that urge, but Loki knew there would be no forgiveness. The whole point of the risk he was taking was to prove himself capable, and confessing his misdeeds would drive him back to before square one, if that was possible. No, it had to be done. There was no other choice now, not if he ever wanted to taste anything as sweet as approval, the honey of which Thor took for granted. It was a simple enough plan anyway if you stripped it to its structure: let the Frost Giants break in, goad Thor into fighting, save the day, and show Thor to be the arrogant idiot he is. Then Loki would have the satisfaction of the crown being offered to him, but he would refuse gracefully, letting Odin know that he would always be on hand to temper Thor’s impulsive decisions, but he preferred not to hold the title role. Perhaps his craft might then be respected: magic seen as a useful weapon rather than a method of cheating, and those with the affinity for it might be taught... but he was getting ahead of himself._

_The noise, both inside and outside the palace, was rising with the sun, with cooks and valets and maids and stable boys bustling through the courtyard below. Inevitably, someone would come looking for him soon to help him get ready. Norns forbid Loki forget to wash his hair with the numerous potions given to him, despite the fact that Thor could turn up covered in the blood of his enemies and still be accepted into the feasting room. His stomach bubbled in either a nervous tension or excitement - he couldn’t fathom which. Allowing himself one last moment with his face turned to the light, he turned and stepped back through the arches to enter the residual darkness._

***********************

‘Loki. _Loki._ You are not yet well enough to- _Loki!’_

Loki stilled his hand, but did not remove it from where it had stolen inside Thor’s trousers. The children were thoroughly occupied with Steve and Tony, the latter of whom had an abundance of technology to distract them with, and were guaranteed not to return for an hour or two.

‘It has been five days, Thor. I am not in pain,’ he assured him from where he sat atop him, hips undulating slowly against his thigh. It wasn’t truly a lie; there was a strange discomfort that lingered in his torso, but he wasn’t often in pain any more. Thor sighed, hands sliding up from thighs to hips, and their firm grip made Loki feel oddly weak, preventing his rocking.

‘And yet I find myself reluctant to believe you,’ Thor said softly. ‘You have rarely been vocal about your ailments.’

Loki huffed, affronted. ‘You heard Mother say a few days, and those few days have passed. And anyway, don’t you have a duty to satisfy me, as my-’

‘Your what?’ Thor interrupted, eyebrow raised. ‘We are not wed.’

Loki’s gaze darkened, and he tried to move away, but those hands held him immobile. Thor pulled himself upright and slid his hands round to cup his shoulder blades, stroking his thumbs over the thin fabric of his shirt.

‘We are not _yet_ wed,’ he corrected himself, eyes making sincere contact with Loki’s own.

‘Be that as it may,’ Loki snapped, still annoyed, ‘do you not wish to have me any longer?’ 

The question was almost rhetoric, the set of his jaw revealing only irritation, but there was still a nasty lingering of doubt in the back of his mind that threatened to unravel him. In response, Thor kissed him hard, sliding a hand into his hair and gripped it near the roots, tugging firmly. Loki bowed to the silent pressure as they parted, his head tilting upwards to let Thor’s mouth descend to his neck, tongue tracing his Adam’s apple before his teeth scraped against it. 

‘I always wish to have you,’ he growled lowly, and Loki moaned as he felt his voice vibrate from where his hand rested on his chest. 

‘Then perhaps you had better prove it,’ he offered, breathless, and Thor’s hands seemed suddenly to be everywhere, his clothes torn away like tissue paper, until he was entirely nude, scrabbling at the buttons of Thor’s shirt. Impatiently, Thor batted his hands away and undressed himself, hips rising to get his trousers off and Loki rose with them, clutching at the bedspread for purchase. The remaining fabric fell to the floor, and Thor simultaneously wrapped a hand around his pulsing cock and latched on to a nipple, sucking as if for milk. Loki howled, body jerking in a disjointed fashion as he couldn’t decide which pleasure to lean into most. A flush rose in his chest under Thor’s hot mouth, and spread to stain his pale skin pink from his neck to the base of his sternum. Thor lapped at him until he was squealing before he switched sides, his free hand sliding up to smear the saliva he’d left behind across the darkened areola, and threatening to topple them over. For the sake of balance, Thor guided them both back down to the bed, pulling his mouth away and letting Loki’s weight fall so that he straddled his thighs again, thumb playing with the slit of his cock. With a ragged moan, and no small sense of regret, Loki grabbed Thor’s hand, lacing their fingers together. 

‘Forget what I said before the battle,’ he rasped, hips bucking against Thor’s. ‘I want you fully.’ 

Thor’s eyes sharpened, and he squeezed his hand tightly. 

‘I will not think any less of you for-’ 

‘Thor,’ Loki whined, ‘have I ever asked you for anything I didn’t want? Please.’ 

Thor dragged him down to meet his lips, and Loki grasped blindly for the oil at his bedside, suckling on the tongue that invaded his mouth. Thor made to turn them over but Loki resisted, shoving the bowl of oil into his hands. 

‘You are sure?’ 

_‘Yes!’_

Placing the bowl rather awkwardly on the edge of the bed, Thor coated his fingers in it, and slid his hand from his hip to his backside, leaving a shining trail in its wake. One finger slipped down to tease over his hole, and Loki gasped, rocking back into it. 

‘If you need me to stop, I will,’ Thor promised. 

In response, Loki leant down to kiss him, whispering against his lips, ‘Want you.’ 

Thor groaned, and the finger pressing against him pushed in slowly to the first knuckle, then withdrew only to slide in completely. Loki’s head bowed until his hair was tickling Thor’s chin, the feeling of being stretched uncomfortable but not painful. In the quiet, he could hear the messy sucking noise the movement produced, and moaned raggedly, pushing backwards towards the probing finger. 

‘Another,’ he demanded, and Thor duly obliged, the initial sting soon giving way to something more pleasant. Loki wasn’t surprised that he was patient, and thorough, fingers scissoring apart and twisting, stretching him wider. 

‘Do you know what you’re looking for?’ he hissed through his teeth. 

‘I- yes, I have heard-’ 

Thor’s next words were drowned out by a cry, as his fingers crooked and brushed against his prostate, sending a bolt of pleasure through him. What little decorum he had left him, rolling his hips back frantically against Thor’s hand, barely feeling the biting pain of another finger as he took his pleasure, babbling, senseless. 

_‘Yessss!_ W-when I saw you with the children- _aah!_ – you could be, you could be their- _oh!_ \- I saw how you love them, like you love me, and I wanted to have you ri _iight_ then and there on the floor, and I would have if they had not been there, I would have thrown you down and impaled myself… _stop!’_

Thor froze, and Loki braced himself on his chest, cock dribbling onto Thor’s stomach. 

‘I don’t mean completely, idiot, I mean your fingers, or I’ll come.’ 

Both of Thor’s hands moved; one from where it had been tugging at his own shaft, and the other from inside Loki, who had to make a grab for the base of his cock and squeeze hard. 

‘Are you well, my love?’ Thor smirked. 

‘Your voice isn’t exactly helping,’ Loki growled, eyes shut tight. 

Eventually, he felt he could continue, and batted away Thor’s hand on his thigh to reach for the oil. He picked up the bowl, and let it hover over Thor’s twitching cock. Thor reached for it, but Loki glared until he laid his arm back down, tipping it so that a thin trickle spilled out onto the head and ran down. Thor shivered, hips jerking, as Loki continued until the oil was all gone, wetting him completely. With a firm hand, Loki smoothed the oil up his cock, revelling in his moaning, before shifting upwards so that their hips aligned, taking him in hand and positioning him against his entrance. 

‘You are sure?’ Loki purred, rubbing him up and down, teasing himself. 

_‘Yes!’_ Thor gasped, in mimicry of Loki, and he pushed his hips up as Loki sank down until he was in him to the hilt. It was a moment to breathe through the madness, Loki taking the time to adjust after so many years, and Thor stroking his oil-soaked palms from thigh up to shoulder blade as he waited. 

‘Are you well?’ 

‘I had not- I had not expected… one moment.’ 

The earlier sting had advanced somewhat, sending a frisson of pain up his spine. For a moment, he panicked, tensing, and making it worse, but Thor’s gentle understanding helped, as his fingers traced across Loki’s cheekbones and down to his chin. 

‘As long as you wish,’ he was promised, and after a few tentative moments, he found that the pain had become more of a dull ache. He slowly pulled himself upwards an inch, thighs trembling, and found that the descent didn’t hurt as he imagined. A second attempt, a little higher, elicited a faint noise from Thor, whose hands had descended to his hips. On his third try, Loki struck gold. Thor rubbed against his prostate, and he was lost again, chasing that spark of pleasure that enveloped him, making his cock throb and stomach knot. 

‘Thor, please!’ he begged, panting, and his partner’s control was lost. Thor’s hips snapped up and drove into him again and again until he was a wailing mess, his rhythm lost as he was filled with pleasure that turned his legs to jelly. Thor took up the slack, hands pressing into his hips until Loki knew there would be bruises there, picking him up and slamming him down, snatching his breath away. Loki felt pressure building in his stomach and his balls begin to tighten, but when Thor got perhaps a little too enthusiastic, his torso twisted and pain lanced through his ribs, bringing him back down. After a moment’s incomprehension, Thor slowed, then stopped, horror painted across his face. 

‘I’m fine,’ Loki gritted out, before he could say anything. ‘Maybe I’m better on my back.’ 

‘I told you that you weren’t ready,’ Thor replied, distressed. ‘We should-’ 

‘If you even think about saying ‘stop’, Thor, I will kill you. Carefully, please, and _on my back.’_

Thor pulled out, and Loki sighed, feeling his climax slip away. He was gently placed on his back, knees up to his chest, and the pressure of movement off his ribs. 

‘See,’ he smiled, sweet as sugar, ‘I’m alright. I was close there, so if you would…’ 

Thor hesitated, thumbs stroking the undersides of his knees. 

‘Thor,’ Loki snapped, ‘Fuck me.’ 

Not to be goaded this time, Thor took hold of himself and slipped in slowly, groaning as he bottomed out. He began at a rather more sedate pace, slow and deep despite Loki’s protests, and soon a gradual burn was building in him. Loki cried out louder and louder with each strike against his prostate, squealing as Thor’s teeth embedded themselves in the juncture between his shoulder and neck. 

‘I want the palace to be full of our children,’ he sobbed, breathless, words falling carelessly from parted lips. ‘I want you to spill your seed in me and fill me and they will never be lonely. _Never.’_

Thor hissed his name, pushing his knees right up to his chest and dragged his hips upwards, one hand curling around his cock. One, two, three more strokes and Loki wailed, spurting into Thor’s hand. He lay back, exhausted, as he came down from his climax, smiling lazily at Thor. He let himself fall pliant, allowing Thor to use him as he wished. 

‘What do you need?’ he whispered, watching as his teeth grit together in apparent desperation, his eyes snapping up to meet Loki’s. ‘You’ve done your job. Let go.’ 

Loki was beginning to get over-sensitive when Thor finally spilled inside him, letting out a breath in the form of a loud, guttural groan. Loki allowed him a second to bask in the afterglow, before he started gently, but insistently, pushing at him where he had sprawled across his aching ribcage. In realisation, Thor jerked back, slipping out of him. 

‘Sorry,’ he gasped, ‘are you injured?’ 

‘You’d know about it if I was. No. Come here.’ 

He pulled Thor back down to land a sloppy kiss on his lips. 

‘You’re so good,’ he moaned, shivering as Thor’s hand travelled down to his backside, a finger playing around his rim and coming back sticky. ‘I’ll get rid of that in a moment.’ 

Thor looked affronted. 

‘And what was all this about children then?’ 

Loki fixed him with a look retained for only the monumentally stupid. 

‘Do I have a womb in this form, idiot? No, I’d have to be a woman. Also, it’s uncomfortable.’ 

‘Oh. I’m glad you don’t have to be a horse,’ he deadpanned, lips twitching at the corners. 

Loki’s response was a filthy glare, and he swiped at him without real effort, before getting rid of the mess they were covered in. Then he settled himself back against the pillows, flicking a finger at the bathtub which filled almost at once. 

‘I estimate we have an hour before the children return,’ he said loftily, dragging himself from the bed and over to the bath. Thor eyed him in appreciation, and as he passed, Loki slid a finger across his stomach, a come-hither smile on his lips. Thankfully, Thor took the hint. 

*********************** 

Loki steeled himself for an argument as Hela stood before him, arms folded across her black-clad chest. 

‘You want me to just leave my kingdom?’ she asked, incredulous. 

‘For the moment, small one, yes, I do,’ Loki replied, crouching in front of her. ‘You have done a fantastic job so far, I know that. But your age is equivalent to that of an eight year old Midgardian child, and a burden so onerous should never have been placed on your shoulders.’ 

He reached out to gently disentangle her arms, relaxing her defensive posture. 

‘Also,’ he murmured, ‘I find that I do not wish to spend any more time away from you than I already have. _Any_ of you. You were taken from me by a foolish old man who thought he knew better, and he did not. All I am proposing is for a regent to reign in your place for the moment, and when, or _if,_ you want to return as an adult, you may. For now, though, I would request that you remain here with me. With us.’ 

He held his breath as she considered, face twisting. After what seemed like a lifetime, she nodded, and Loki sagged in relief, getting to his feet with a grin. 

‘I must admit that I have missed you all,’ she said in a voice almost inaudible, ‘and it’s cold down there.’ 

As Thor burst through the door, surrounded by, and carrying, a gaggle of boys, Loki turned his gaze from her and squeezed her shoulder. 

He caught Thor’s eye, and replied, smiling, ‘There is an abundance of sunshine here.’ 

He sent Hela off to play with the others, watching with pride as Sleipnir walked unsteadily with the charmed splints that had been fixed to his legs. Thor approached and took his hand, eyes fixed on Sleipnir’s wobbly gait as he was finally able to join in. 

‘Look at him smiling,’ Loki laughed, though a lump rising in his throat choked it away. ‘I’m glad he’s not left out.’ 

His hand was squeezed for a brief moment, before Thor motioned to a guard to stay with the children. Confused, Loki narrowed his eyes at him. 

‘Father wishes to speak to us,’ Thor explained. 

‘So the old coot is finally awake?’ Loki asked coldly, leaving Thor trailing behind as he strode off towards Odin’s chamber. ‘He always did pick the most convenient times for a nap. Better get this over with.’ 

He could sense Thor’s discomfort rolling off him in waves as they approached, but he didn’t know whether that was because they weren’t on the best of terms with Odin, or whether he knew something about what they were being summoned for. Either way, it didn’t bode well that Loki could sense it, seeing as nerves weren’t common in Thor. They picked their way through corridors in this foreboding silence; some areas of the palace that they moved through were still in ruin, guards stationed awkwardly in front of doors whose connecting walls were mostly rubble, the odd blood spatter still visible to sharp eyes. Their parents’ chamber, however, was largely untouched, and when they were allowed access, Odin was lying back against a plethora of pillows, a new, jagged scar slicing across his cheek. All Loki felt looking at him was a vague sort of apathy, so far removed from the love that had once been and the hate that had followed. He was a tired, old man, surrounded by splendour he did not deserve. 

‘I see your injuries have healed,’ Odin remarked, his trilling voice as thin and frail as his grasp on parenting. 

‘Evidently,’ Loki retorted. ‘As have yours. Why then, I wonder, are you still abed?’ 

Odin’s eyes were sad and drooping, like those of an ageing bloodhound, but Loki refused to pity him. He stared back in silence, with eyes of flint and jaw of steel, until Odin answered. 

‘I am old now, my sons,’ he began, holding up a pacifying hand as Loki’s chest swelled in righteous indignation. ‘I know I no longer have the right to call you that, but that is how I think of you. I am sorry. But the fact remains that I am weakening, as evidenced by the blow that once I may have avoided in younger, quicker days. As such, I have come to a decision; one that was made a long while since, but was interrupted. I wish to pass on my crown.’ 

_And there it was._

Thor knew. Thor _knew,_ and that was why he’d seemed so uncomfortable. Close as they were, Loki felt rather than saw Thor stiffen, the air shifting around him as his muscles clenched, and Loki let out a shuddering breath, the sting of rejection still burning his eyes. He angled his face downwards and to the side, taking Odin’s face out of his line of vision, unfocusing so that the world became a blur. 

‘Loki.’ 

Loki ignored him, astounded by the cruelty that he was still capable of perpetuating. 

‘Loki, look at me,’ Odin said, and his tone was deceptively gentle. 

Though he knew he was required to do no such thing, he didn’t want to act like a child, and so lifted his head, blinking away any trace of moisture. 

‘I wish to offer you the throne.’ 

Loki’s mouth fell open in shock. He examined Odin’s face with wild eyes for any trace of trickery, but found nothing, jerking as a warm palm pressed into his back to prop him up. His own hand crept from his side and his fingers curled in the fabric of Thor’s cloak like a child with a comfort blanket, staring. Odin smiled, bittersweet. 

‘I have been unkind to you. It is true that when you were young, I believed you both to be candidates for the crown, but when I found the prophecy, those beliefs were stifled under the weight of it. I quashed any thoughts of giving you the throne, because I feared that you would abuse it. Now I know that I was wrong. I know that your nature is that of mischief, not of cruelty. That neither erases the events of these past years, nor absolves me from my despicable behaviour, but I hope that you and your children will be happy here.’ 

As Odin finished his speech, Loki was no longer looking at him. Instead, his wide eyes were fixed on Thor, who grinned at him, hand rubbing the small of his back. 

‘I don’t want it,’ he said thickly, tongue warping around the words in his dry mouth. Thor didn’t look entirely surprised, and he didn’t care to see Odin’s reaction. ‘I never wanted it. Just the choice, that’s all I ever wanted. To be your equal.’ 

The last was directed at Thor, whose gaze was only of understanding. 

‘You are sure?’ he heard distantly, his whole world shrinking to the face of his _elskan._ He nodded, tracing from brow to jaw with his fingertips and watching with satisfaction the faint flush that rose in his cheeks. 

‘It isn’t as if I can’t keep you in line,’ he smirked, to which Thor raised an eyebrow, making him squeak with a finger tickling the fine hairs at the back of his neck. When they finally paid attention to Odin, he was watching them with obvious bemusement. 

‘Well then, preparations will be made,’ he shrugged. ‘When I am out of bed, we will begin. For now, though, you are free to go.’ 

Loki didn’t look back. 

*********************** 

‘Can we take Fenrir home with us?’ 

Tony’s face was hopeful as he asked, standing at the palace end of the Bifrost with Steve and the others, one hand ruffling Fenrir’s hair until he squealed and ducked away. 

_‘What?’_ Loki hissed, reclaiming his wayward son to smooth it down again until he looked more like a prince than a 1980s-throwback. ‘I’d rather you take my eyeballs than my children.’ 

‘That could be arranged,’ Tony said flippantly, though he cringed from Steve’s judgemental stare. 

Satisfied that there was to be no abduction, Loki sent Fenrir off to say goodbye to Natasha and Clint with a pat on the arm and a pointed look, while Hela barrelled up to Tony with blade in hand. Loki drifted in the vague direction of Thor, watching with amusement Clint being accosted by three little ones, nimble hands borrowing arrows to examine whilst he flailed to regain them. However, he frowned when he reached Thor as he noticed Sleipnir hovering nearby, watching with what looked like detachment, but what Loki truly recognised as longing. 

‘He says he does not wish to say goodbye, because goodbyes are sad,’ Thor explained softly. 

If he was anyone else, Loki might have bought it. With a subtle shake of his head, he shifted closer to Sleipnir, announcing his presence with a hand on his shoulder. 

‘So, why are you over here instead of saying goodbye?’ 

Sleipnir gave him a sidelong glance, mumbling, ‘Goodbyes are-’ 

‘Sad?’ Loki finished, eyebrow raised. ‘Sweet one, that may work with your other father because he has never known isolation, but it certainly won’t with me. Why do you not join the others?’ 

There was a long pause, but Loki waited it out as he struggled, finally blurting out, ‘My legs. The splints help, but I’m still wobbly. They might laugh at me.’ 

‘Sleipnir, nobody will laugh at you, unless they wish to be punished by me. I will not stand for bullying. And besides, your walking is wonderful! You have nothing to lose by going over there right now to say goodbye to Anthony and Steven. Look, they’re waving.’ 

And they were, Steve’s elbow firmly wedged in Tony’s ribcage. Thor had obviously caught on and had a word. Sleipnir waved back shyly, hair falling forward as he ducked his head. 

‘But what if I fall?’ he whispered, looking to Loki for comfort. 

‘Someone will always be there to catch you.’ 

It held deeper meaning than he had originally intended, and his voice wobbled accordingly, eliciting a concerned glance from his eldest. 

‘I’m fine, don’t worry,’ he soothed, hand on his back to guide him forwards. ‘Go to them.’ 

And Sleipnir did, skittering forward on his unsteady legs and into Steve’s open arms. As predicted, nobody else paid him any mind. From where Thor was stood with Natasha, Clint, and a number of their unruly brood, Loki caught his eye and smiled, walking away for a moment to compose himself. A little nearer the palace stood Bruce and Sölvi, partially concealed by a pillar, and too close for mere friends, in Loki’s opinion. Determined to listen, he edged closer and strained to hear, pretending to be engrossed in a particularly dull rock formation in the distance. 

‘… that you survived this,’ came Sölvi’s faint voice, low and ardent. 

Loki watched from the corner of his eye as his hand ghosted over the bulge of Bruce’s bandage concealed beneath his shirt, before coming to rest on his cheek. 

‘And you think I’m not? Your arm… Thor said you wouldn’t leave.’ 

The last was said in reproach, and Loki noted with wry amusement that he too traced Sölvi’s bandage, before Sölvi slipped his arm around him, bracketing him against the pillar. His head lowered until his forehead was touching Bruce’s, and even though there was nothing untoward going on, Loki averted his gaze slightly from what seemed such an intimate moment. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sölvi’s head dip further as his lips brushed Bruce’s, and it was then that he decided to leave them to it. He was glad for the relationship, he mused as he wandered back towards the children. Sölvi had been alone too long. 

‘We’re good to go, Lokes,’ Tony grinned as he approached. 

Loki leant in close to him. 

‘Call me that again and I shall give your spinal cord to my children to use as a skipping rope.’ 

‘Duly noted.’ 

Thor caught up with him as they all walked towards Heimdall, Bruce and Sölvi lagging behind while the children ran on ahead. The Avengers, minus Thor, took their places facing the stars. Last hugs were given, Bruce and Sölvi parted with a squeeze of the hand and a fond look, then after a final goodbye, Heimdall slid the sword down and they were pulled away in a stream of light. 

‘I hope nobody gets travel sick,’ Hela drawled, piercing the silence left behind. 

Sleipnir turned from where he had been staring at the sky, ‘Will you take us on that, Dad?’ 

Loki’s face twisted. 

‘I dislike the Bifrost journey intensely, and for your Father it is just a means to an end. Perhaps when you are older. We’ll have to visit the extended family at some point.’  
And then there would be duties in other realms to attend to, and battles to fight. Loki was glad that Thor would be king. While the children were distracted by stars and swords and Hemidall’s hat, Loki was startled to catch sight of Helblindi and Býleistr walking up towards the Bifrost. He nudged Thor, then grabbed his arm to prevent him from interfering. 

‘You go to the palace with the children. I wish to talk with them alone,’ he murmured. 

‘I cannot leave you with them,’ Thor protested. ‘You have no weapons.’ 

‘My magic is my weapon. But Sölvi may remain, in the case of a struggle.’ 

Thor grumbled, but acquiesced, gathering the children with the promise of weapons training. As such, none of them noticed Loki remain. 

‘So, are you and Dr. Banner going to start a relationship?’ he asked Sölvi quietly, who stood to his right with a loose grasp on the hilt of his sword. 

‘Yes, my prince. There may have to be some adjustments in our lives.’ 

If there was a touch of nervousness in his voice, Loki ignored it, watching as his family passed his birth brothers with a series of nods and greetings, letting out a breath as both groups continued on. 

‘I hope that you are happy,’ he continued, eyes fixed on his brothers. ‘You and Dr. Banner were both kind to me when nobody else was.’ 

‘Thank you, my liege,’ Sölvi replied, sounding surprised. ‘I would say the same of you, but I know you and Prince Thor are happy.’ 

‘As I’m sure you will be.’ 

He quietened as Helblindi and Býleistr approached, wiping his expression to neutral as he tried to conceal any weakness that they could potentially exploit. With a set jaw and tensed shoulders, he greeted them with a sharp nod. Helblindi looked amused. 

‘Calm yourself, Loki. We would not help save this realm only to put it in jeopardy with your death.’ 

Loki relaxed minutely, but he was still wary. 

‘I killed Laufey,’ he said bluntly. ‘And you would smile upon me?’ 

‘It is true that once that might have been unforgiveable,’ Býleistr replied. ‘But things have changed. One could say that Laufey was a strong king. However, as a Jötunn, he was… lacking.’ 

Loki’s temper flared, and he spat, ‘How so? He was not a runt like me. Did he have some other malformation?’ 

‘Temper temper! You have Mother’s temper. No, Loki, I refer not to physical problems, but emotional ones. He was not a nice man, and we lived under his particular form of tyranny for many years. Had Fárbauti lived after your birth, then I am sure you would not have been sent away. Laufey was strong, but she was stronger still.’ 

There was a distant echo of pain on Býleistr’s face. Loki wanted to feel it, feel the pain of his birth mother’s death like he would Frigga’s, but he could not. How could he feel pain for the loss of one he never had? So instead, he gave Býleistr a sympathetic half-smile, and offered this: 

‘I wish that I had known her, for much hurt might have been avoided. Yet I may then not have met Thor.’ 

‘Wishing for the past to change is futile,’ Helblindi murmured, eyes unfocused. ‘One must look to the future and be done with it.’ 

He cleared his throat and continued. ‘Loki, I would propose an alliance between our realms, and a true one this time. We tire of war games, and it seems that our efforts need to be turned outwards in case of further attack. I am not child enough to believe that peace will reign everlasting, but I would hope that as a child of both worlds, for now, you will be enough to keep Asgard and Jötunheim from battle.’ 

Loki was momentarily lost for words, eyes darting between the faces of his blood brothers as if to spy a joke. 

‘I have done terrible things,’ he rasped finally, hands twisting together behind his back. 

‘Yes you have. And so have I, and so has Býleistr, and so has Thor. None of us are innocent, Loki. We all have blood on our hands, but now we have the chance for peace, and that is not something to be taken for granted. You will see us again.’ 

They nodded, so in unison that Loki wondered if they had practiced, and without so much as another word, took their place in front of Heimdall. He watched as the sword descended and they disappeared, happiness and discomfort warring in him despite their acceptance. Sölvi looked to him for orders, but he simply waved him off ahead, lingering to say farewell to Heimdall. He dawdled on the way back to the palace, the beauty of the undamaged contrasting sharply with the wreckage war had left, and Loki thought that perhaps an alliance would be a good thing, if only to avoid such destruction. As expected, Thor was there to greet him in the entrance hall, with welcoming hands and welcoming eyes. 

‘The children are playing in the courtyard,’ he explained, drawing Loki to him despite the presence of the guards. ‘What did they say?’ 

It took Loki a while to realise who he was talking about. ‘Oh, they would like an alliance. It wasn’t exactly a family reunion, but they’re not hostile, fortunately.’ 

‘An alliance? That’s an achievement!’ 

Loki, whose eyes had fallen to the arms that flexed before him, replied with a simple hum. 

‘The children are playing, you say,’ he mused. ‘For how long?’ 

Catching on, Thor smirked. ‘I would say there are a few hours left before they will invade.’ 

‘Good,’ Loki purred, catching his hand and pulling him away down corridor after corridor until he reached their room. He dismissed the guards in front of the doors, pulling Thor inside and closing them behind him. Once he had made sure Thor was watching with a drawn out kiss and the slide of a finger down his face, he let his figure fill out, his hair lengthening and skin softening til he stood before him, female. 

‘Perhaps the children wouldn’t mind another to play with,’ he grinned, letting himself fall back onto the bed, one hand ghosting over the bedclothes, and the other twisting in Thor’s golden hair.

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. After over 70,000 words, and more than a year, I’ve finally finished. I’m a little bit numb right now, but I’m sure it’ll pass. I want to thank each and every single one of you who has read, left kudos on, commented, or bookmarked Perdition, because your support has bolstered me when I’ve been uncertain, and made me feel like some people actually care about what I write. This is the longest story I’ve ever written by about 65,000 words, and being able to put a new chapter up regularly and receive feedback has definitely improved my writing. So. Thanks again :)
> 
> It’s entirely possible that I’ll write another Marvel fic in the future (maybe even a sequel!), but in the interim, I’ve begun writing a Star Trek fic - Jim/Spock, of course - and have another idea in the works. If you’re into Trek (and if not, you should be ;) ), I’d be grateful if you checked it out once the first chapter is up.
> 
> Finally, if any of you want to discuss Marvel, Trek, or writing with me, ask me to look over something, or just chat, I’m here at [my Tumblr](http://www.pastmydancingdays.tumblr.com/) You don’t need a Tumblr to talk to me – just click on the ‘Ask’ button in my description and you’re away – but if you do, I’d be so happy to hear from you! I love following new fandom blogs too. All in all, thank you. You’ve been awesome, and I hope that you guys will like what I write in the future.
> 
> Rhi xox


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